THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES (2012)

Rated: R

Stars: Ryan Gosling,  Bradley Cooper,  Eva Mendes,  Ray Liota,  Ben Mendelsohn,  Dane DeHaan,  Emory Cohen

Director: Derek Cianfrance

Genre: Drama



The first thing you should know about The Place Beyond The Pines is that it's too long.  Just in case you have a hairdresser appointment later in the day--you're going to have to furtively call on the cell phone you're not supposed to use in the theater and reschedule it. That's how long the movie is. 

But you get Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper in the same film, so quit yer bellyachin!  These are two leading men, so ya gotta wonder...hmmm...how they gonna work this?  No problem--the first half of the movie belongs to Gosling,  and the second half belongs to Cooper. Probably the only way the two of them would agree to being in the same film together. 

So when I say The Place Beyond The Pines is essentially presented in two acts--and if you want to get technical, three acts--you can begin to understand why it's too long. The end of the first act is disconcerting, because you start to think it's the end of the movie, and you're saying, well, that was kinda short! Then you realize (if you are me) that the first part is a prologue  to the rest of the movie, which then takes off in another direction. So you hunker down for the rest of it, not knowing until near the end how it is all connected. And it is all connected...the movie just takes its time getting there.

The reason I'm speaking in generalities is because you can't go that far in describing the plot without giving too much away. But I'll give you this:   Luke (Gosling) is a motorcycle stunt driver working for the carnival.  One night after the show he is approached by former one-night-stand Romina, (Eva Mendes) who clues him in that he is now a papa. Instead of moving on with the carnival, Luke decides to hang around  and try to become  a presence in his son's life, which will be difficult because Romina is living with another guy. This is the first stupid thing Luke does. The second stupid thing is he becomes a bank robber to get some cash to lavish upon Romina and the boy. For a while it's easy money because Luke goes zoom zoom on his bike and gets away fast. But it's incredible just how stupid this guy is, and he is going to meet his match in young cop Avery Cross (Cooper). Avery also has a young son, and that is going to factor significantly into the rest of the plot .

 Fast forward fifteen years, and A Place Beyond The Pines becomes Avery's story. He has parlayed being a hero cop into a burgeoning political career for himself.  But kids are always acting out and embarrassing the folks, and Avery's teenage son, A.J., (Emory Cohen, as a young Brando type--he's one to watch) and Luke's teenage son, Jason, (Dane DeHaan) are going to carry forth the connection between Luke and Avery by proxy.  DAMN...now looka there...you've already made me tell you more than I wanted to.  STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME !    

Notable performances from Gosling and Cooper, but director Derek Cianfrance must have gotten so caught up in the intricacies of the plot that he forgot a few minor details--like aging the adult characters a little after that fifteen year skip forward. They all look the same. He DID remember to age the two boys--because...uh...they were just toddlers in the beginning--so that was some clear thinking there. 

Anyway, the  main thing I took away from The Place Beyond The Pines is that stupidity runs in the genes, and it often passes down through the generations. 

Oh, and did I mention it's kinda long?


Grade:  B--

ROGER EBERT HAS GONE TO THE BIG MOVIE BALCONY IN THE SKY. SAINT PETER JUST GAVE HIM A BIG THUMBS UP. YOU WERE THE GREATEST, ROG.

THE CALL (2013)

Rated: R

Stars:  Halle Berry, Abigail Breslin,  Michael Eklund, Morris Chestnut 
Director: Brad Anderson
Genre: Thriller

In most films where some crazed psychopath is on the loose, those who encounter him always do something really stupid that puts their lives in jeopardy. Otherwise, the plot won't work. In The Call,  EVERYBODY, including the bad guy,  does stupid things--which, needless to say,  makes the whole plot pretty... uh... stupid.  But director Brad Anderson, who gave us the excellent Transsiberian , has crafted a fairly decent (though totally formulaic)  thriller here, aided by deft editing and a music score that effectively ratchets up the tension and suspense throughout. 

And by now, most sophisticated film fans--such as you and me--are pretty forgiving of  implausible plot elements, as long as the movie takes us on a wild enough ride. 

Jordan (Halle Berry) is a 911 dispatcher in L.A., where the phones never stop ringing. Sometimes it's just a lovable drunk the operators are familiar with, but sometimes it's a teenage girl who's about to be abducted by the aforementioned psycho (portrayed convincingly with just the right amount of creepiness by Michael Eklund). Jordan does her best to handle the situation and steer it toward a good end, but it all goes awry when the girl's body is discovered. This haunts Jordan, because she did something STUPID while on the phone with the girl. Now her nerves are frayed, and she opts for the job of teaching new operator recruits, rather than manning the phones. 

And as The Call follows the formula for these kinds of movies to the hilt, you know that another teen girl (Abigail Breslin) is going to end up in the clutches of the perp, who then does the STUPIDEST thing himself. Everybody knows that every teenage girl carries a cell phone, but this guy fails to check to see if she's got one on her when he stuffs her into the trunk of his car and peels out!  So the abductee, named Casey, calls 911 from inside her claustrophobic confines. 

The operator who takes the call becomes frazzled and turns to Jordan, saying she doesn't know what to do. (This film does not inspire confidence in the ability of 911 dispatchers to remain calm and cool under pressure--or for that matter, the effectiveness of police response time!)  After some momentary soul searching,  Jordan takes over. She is in her element again, and she gives Casey some creative instructions on how to try to save herself.

When police units are unsuccessful in honing in on the maniac's whereabouts,  (and as you will see, he is one twisted dude) Jordan does the CLASSIC stupid thing and gets personally involved, tracking him down and placing herself in harm's way. 

Be forewarned there are a couple of  scenes of some real nasty gore in The Call.  There is also some eyebrow-raising titillation involving Abigail Breslin, (whom you may remember as the precocious kid from Sunshine Cleaning) age 16 at the time of filming, stripped down to her skimpy bra. 

With all of its flaws, such as the bare bones of a subplot involving Jordan's cop boyfriend (Morris Chestnut) that is never developed, this movie does keep you glued to your seat right up to its twisted surprise twist at the end.

You make the call.    

Grade:  B --




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SIDE EFFECTS (2013)

Rated:  R

Stars: Rooney Mara,  Jude Law,  Catherine Zeta-Jones,  Channing Tatum
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Genre: Psychological Thriller

Not since we all bought into the idea that Lois Lane couldn't figure out that Clark Kent and Superman were the same dude--just because Clark wore glasses and Superman didn't-- has our willing suspension of disbelief  been stretched to the point of  losing its elasticity like a five year-old pair of  boxer shorts.  But besides the highly implausible and convoluted plot,  it's a pretty  engrossing  yarn of deception and intrigue that's being spun in Side Effects.

Rooney Mara is Emily Taylor, an unstable woman who deliberately crashes her car inside a parking garage and ends up taking anti-depressants under the care of  shrink Jonathan Banks (Jude Law).  One of the side-effects of the drug she is taking is sleepwalking, and in one of those episodes she stabs her husband,(Channing Tatum) to death.  Which was adding insult to injury because he just got out of the pokey after doing a four year stint for insider trading, and now look... he's dead.  (Damn, didn't you read the label on this stuff?  It says quite clearly that it may cause drowsiness, headache, AND A SUDDEN AND  OVERWHELMING DESIRE TO MURDER YOUR SPOUSE!) 

Emily goes on trial, pleads insanity, and is confined to a mental institution. In a sense, this is where Side Effects begins, as the roller coaster plot unfolds from here. And much like The Sixth Sense, nothing is what it appears to be. 

Catherine Zeta-Jones has a very interesting turn as Emily's former therapist, complete with lesbo scenes. She's  one of the last I would expect to go that route, but you know,  DAHLING,  no one can be considered a serious actress TODAY  without it on your resume.

Side Effects will have you shaking your head due to its sheer bravado in asking you  to say, "Uh...it could happen."  And while you can figure out who's the good guy and who's the bad guy in most films,  there is no one here who turns out lily white at the end. 

Grade:  B +

AMOUR (2012)

Rated : PG-13

Stars: Jean-Louis Tritignant,  Emmanuelle Riva,  Isabelle Huppert
Director: Michael Haneke
Genre:  Art House/Drama



The enduring image I will always have of Jean-Louis Tritignant is that of the race car driver in  the superb 1966 film,  A Man And A Woman . So there's a disconcerting aspect to seeing him onscreen today as an Octogenarian (which he is) in Amour,  the Oscar nominated drama from director Michael Haneke. 

Time happens.

And as Time (that old gypsy man) drags us kicking and screaming down this one-way street,  most of  those who do not meet a premature death will eventually end up like the Parisian couple Georges (Tritignant) and Anne, (Emmanuelle Riva) in this movie. That's stark realism, man. And that's what Amour deals us. It's a stiff dose of here's-your-worst-nightmare-only-it's-real--that thing we never signed up for...old age and decrepitude.    

Georges and Emmanuelle are conversing inside their apartment one day when she suddenly checks out...face gone blank and unresponsive. She's had a stroke and, to make a long synopsis short, goes downhill from there. Now she's partially paralyzed and bedridden, and Georges is her caregiver. 
He gets to do all the fun stuff like haul her into the bathroom and prop her up on the toilet. At some point it's  just down to changing her diaper. This is the first two-thirds of the movie. 

Now anybody who has had an elderly and/or infirmed parent has been there, done that. So why rub our faces in it here? Because we are spared none of it in Amour . It  goes on and on until you are ready to throw up your hands and say what's the point, and just about then you get the point (or at least I did) that what had initially appeared to be the wife's story is actually the husband's story. The metamorphosis  he undergoes from compassionate caregiver to...well...something else. And we need all of the unpleasant business leading up to it to properly put ourselves in his shoes and ask what would we do. 

Nominated for five Oscars, including Best Picture, I'd not be surprised at all if the 85 year-old Riva takes the Best Actress prize--her challenging performance here is that good. Let's say at least that she deserves it, but you know how these things go. (We're not all that far removed from those idiots who excoriated  the French for having the intelligence and the foresight--and maybe just the bad taste of experience in their mouths--to not go along with Dubya's little foray into Iraq. How much of an anti-French hangover still lingers is anybody's guess.)

Suffice it to say that Amour--despite the title--is not a date movie. I pity the unwitting guy who took his best girl to see it on Valentine's day. I wonder who she's with now. 
  
Grade:  B +

CUTTING TO THE CHASE

Rating what's out now on DVD

Grade: A

TED
The raunchiest stuffed bear you'll ever meet. Clever, funny, romantic, poignant...what more do you want?


Grade:  B +

SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD
I was surprised at how good this was for a film that received very little hype.

KILLER JOE
What happens when some really dumb rednecks hatch a murder plot to collect insurance money. Fascinating, like a train wreck.

HOPE SPRINGS
Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones ans Steve Carell. Notable because Carell plays it straight throughout the entire film!


Grade : B

TO ROME WITH LOVE
Woody Allen seems headed into Fellini territory with this one...still a fun ride.

RUBY SPARKS
Writer creates his own girlfriend...do-it-yourselfers oughta like this one.

TINKER, TAILOR, SOLDIER, SPY
Espionage and the games big boys play. Follow along and you'll be fine.


Grade:  B -

ARBITRAGE
It's fun to watch Richard Gere in his manic phase, which seems to be the whole movie.

CHRONICLE
Teen superheroes...I haven't completely grown out of that phase.

PROMETHEUS
Sci-fi with some great CGI.



Grade:  C +

LARRY CROWNE
Mildly entertaining vehicle for Hanks/Roberts.



Grade:  D

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
Five year-old girl waxes philosophical about the web of life and everything being connected, then beats a fish to death with a hammer. WTF?  If violent drunks are your heroes, you'll love it.

ZERO DARK THIRTY (2012)

Rated:  R

Stars: Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Joel Edgerton, Jennifer Ehle, Kyle Chandler, Harold Perrineau
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Genre: Drama

Any review of Zero Dark Thirty needs to be on two fronts. First, an assessment of the artistic merits of the film, and then a word addressing the controversial issues it deals with. Zero Dark Thirty would have been worthy of its Oscar nomination for best picture had the first third or so of the movie not been so one-dimensional, and thus yawn inducing--even when the subject matter is graphic torture scenes of suspects allegedly connected to Al Qaeda during the hunt for Osama bin Laden. I say yawn inducing because violence is endemic to American society, and our film industry has a morbid fascination with it, and anything will make you detach if it's being force-fed to you a lot, like, uh...water boarding. 

By spending so much time on these "enhanced interrogation" methods employed by the CIA, director Katherine Bigelow seems to be making the assertion that they were essential to the success of the bin Laden operation. CIA director Leon Panetta, acknowledging that such methods were used, (and who would doubt it after viewing the Abu Ghraib photo gallery) stated: "I think we would have gotten bin Laden without that."  Which just blows the whole premise of your film out of the water, Kathryn, so...NO OSCAR FOR YOU! (But have all the soup you want.)

I also was not enamored with the central character of the film,  CIA agent "Maya" played by Jessica Chastain, whom we are led to believe was the essential operative in the manhunt, and that bin Laden was ferreted out largely due to her spot-on instincts in analyzing the clues as they presented themselves. (The real agent Chastain's character was based upon has been forbidden by the agency  to speak with journalists,    

so we may never know the real story.)

The first time Maya sits in on a torture session, she feels revulsion, as anyone with a whit of human compassion and a conscience would. But she hardens up fast on her way to becoming a self-absorbed zealot in her pursuit of Bad Guy Number One, and begins conducting some of those little "hazing" parties herself. There is no complexity to her character after that--we are just supposed to admire her for being tough and using male locker room jargon. But that's TV cop drama stuff, and it's the same old patronizing of women used by the male creators of those shows in hopes that it might get them somewhere in the bedroom! (Don't know what Bigelow's motivation might be for creating a similar stereotype.)

But beyond that, the larger point is that those who believe the end always justifies the means often end up sinking to the level of the evil they are engaging. 

What can be classified as the brilliance of  Zero Dark Thirty is the raid on Osama bin Laden's compound--one of the most intense, heart-thumping, and well put together sequences in memory.  But you can't praise a faltering football game as being one of the greatest ever just because it gets hugely dramatic and entertaining at the end. Historical drama is always anticlimactic for me anyway...because I know how it turns out. 

Duh.

Grade: B