THE RUM DIARY (2011)

Rated: R

Stars: Johnny Depp, Richard Jenkins, Amber Heard, Michael Rispoli, Aaron Eckhart, Giovanni Ribisi

Director: Bruce Robinson

Genre: Action-Adventure/ Comedy

Johnny Depp channels his good (but dead) friend, Hunter S. Thompson, in The Rum Diary--the screen adaptation of Thompson's first novel about his adventures and misadventures in Puerto Rico circa 1960-- that remained unpublished until after the "gonzo" journalist had gained his notoriety. Isn't it funny how a piece of writing can be rejected by publishers as unworthy, but once the writer becomes famous for his later endeavors, it's suddenly not only good enough to publish, but to make a movie out of as well!!!

Depp is Paul Kemp, a fledgling novelist with a drinking problem who lands a job at the fictional San Juan Star, the island's English language daily that is on the verge of going belly up. (I landed a gig in P.R. myself in 1968, and the real San Juan Star was alive and well--in fact, being in the media, I worked with some of the reporters from that paper, which only recently ceased publication due to economic issues in 2008.)

Kemp, initially assigned to writing horoscopes by his embattled editor, Lotterman, (Richard Jenkins) obviously has a low threshold for tedium, so he teams up with photographer Sala, (Michael Rispoli) and together they get into drunken altercations with some of the locals, (helping to reinforce the image of the Ugly American...thank you very much) land in jail, and get bailed out by Sanderson, (Aaron Eckhart) an unscrupulous land developer who sees his opportunity to manipulate the young reporter into writing glowing reports about his scheme to build luxury hotels on a pristine neighboring island, and thus open up paradise to more hordes of tourists, all in the name of the mighty dollar. (The island, though never identified in the film, is Vieques-- which the U.S. navy was using as a bombing range, against the wishes of the inhabitants of the island, for many years.)

Gotta have some romance, of course, and Kemp finds himself falling for Sanderson's luscious girl-gone-wild girlfriend, Chenault, (Amber Heard) which is going to complicate things between himself and Sanderson, and lead to Kemp's epiphany, where he begins the transformation from hack horoscope writer and shill for the corporate world to crusading journalist. Here he gets to wax philosophical about truth and taking the bastards down--an attempt to steer this capricious, careening movie back onto the road and deliver something of substance--trite though the message may be.

What I liked:

• A few of the individual scenes in The Rum Diary are pretty hot--like when Kemp and Sanderson's borrowed car and borrowed girlfriend, Chenault, are speeding along, playing a game of chicken to see who will scream first with the pedal flat out to the metal. Another one finds Kemp, Sanderson, and Chenault on the neighboring island of Saint Thomas, with the hedonistic young lovely dancing and losing her inhibitions with a group of local men, amidst an aura of escalating danger to the Americanos.

What I didn't like:

• Scenes of cock-fighting. This barbaric "sport" is now illegal in all fifty states and the District of Columbia, and in many other countries as well. Sure, we're talking about Puerto Rico in the early sixties, and the cock-fighting action in The Rum Diary was monitored by the American Humane Association. Soft rubber spurs replaced the lethal metal ones that are normally used to facilitate a fight to the death. Still, there was no attempt made here to cast cock-fighting in any other light than a popular gambling event where lots of money changes hands.

In summation:

It's a patchwork kind of film--thin on plot, but no shortage of belly laughs--if you can enjoy drunken, slovenly, somewhat degenerate type characters (now I'm flashing back to my early family life!) The most unpleasant thing was the guy sitting a couple of seats down from me who was laughing so ANNOYINGLY loud and hard, I felt they should have removed him from the theater. But hey, it's the one place where you get to let it all out--where you get to be just as big of an A-HOLE as some of the characters on the screen... and things being the way they are, we surely need that.

Grade: C +

TIMMY'S OVERLOOKED GEMS AND CURIOSITIES

DON JUAN De MARCO--1994

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Marlon Brando, Johnny Depp, Faye Dunaway

Director: Jeremy Leven

Genre: Drama/romance

Assessment: GEM!

Any movie that can lift you out of the hypnotic, auto-pilot state of your everyday existence and show you a world where there is greater depth of living and loving, and do it in a thoroughly captivating manner, is one that I will rave about! Don Juan DeMarco is such a film.

A young man (Johnny Depp) wearing a cape and a mask is convinced that he is the legendary Don Juan, "the world's greatest lover." He has made love to over fifteen hundred women. But he ends up in a psychiatric hospital following an apparent suicide attempt because the only woman he has ever really love has rejected him. He is under the care of Dr. Jack Mickler, (Marlon Brando) who is under pressure to start medicating the guy because the dude is obviously delusional. But not so fast...the patient regales his psychiatrist with tales of growing up in Mexico, where he made love for the first time at age 16, avenged his father's death in a sword fight, and later ended up in an Arabian sultan's harem where he took on a "service" oriented role.

Fascinated by the young man's sincerity, (as he charms the pants off of the female employees of the facility) Mickler falls under his patient's spell, and comes to believe that he may actually be who he claims to be.

Don Juan tells his doctor that there are only four questions in life:

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to each of these questions is: "ONLY LOVE."

The tail begins to wag the dog, and Dr. Mickler soon finds his spirit rejuvenated. He goes home to his wife, Marilyn, (Faye Dunaway) and says: "We've surrendered our lives to the momentum of mediocrity. What happened to the celestial fire that used to light our way?"

He also says: "GODDAMN, YOU'RE A GREAT BROAD, REALLY!" This is classic Brando, so reminiscent of his character in Last Tango In Paris that I wondered if there wasn't some subtle tongue-in-cheek parody of that role going on here, especially when he takes a piece of gum out of his mouth and disposes of it, another deja vu moment from the aforementioned film. (Am I the only one who notices these things?) Or maybe it's just that Marlon Brando, with all his idiosyncrasies, could never truly be anything other than himself. (Even in his blimped- out state of 300 pounds, or whatever he was for this movie.)

Don Juan DeMarco got a PG-13 rating when it came out, but there are as many bare naked ladies flitting about (and delightfully so) as there were in Eyes Wide Shut! Probably would have received an R by today's standards.

In the end, the fundamental question of Don Juan DeMarco isn't whether Depp's character really is who he thinks he is--but rather, are any of us really who WE think we are?

THE TOURIST--2010

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Steven Berkoff, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton

Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck

Genre: Romantic Thriller

Who could blame one for thinking that The Tourist might be just another vehicle designed to showcase a couple of mega-stars--Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp--and little else? HOWEVAH...I'm happy to report that was not the case! Here is a film with intrigue, romance, gorgeous scenery, (in addition to Ms. Jolie) and a mesmerizing score from James Newton Howard...so what's not to like? (Okay, there's no skin...live with it!)

In the world of intrigue--as in life--there are assumptions, and there is often a reality that blows our assumptions out of the water. Speaking of water... we're in Venice, where the elegant Elise (Angelina Jolie) is being tailed by agents from Interpol who believe she's getting ready to hook up with her lover, the elusive Alexander Pearce, wanted for ripping off a ton of money from the brutal gangster Reginald Shaw (Steven Berkoff). Previously, when Elise received a note from Pearce instructing her to board a designated train from Paris to Venice and pick out a guy about his build and height to glom onto so as to bamboozle the British agents...there sits the hapless looking Frank Tupelo, (Johnny Depp) a math teacher from Wisconsin, who is immediately taken with Elise...and then taken BY Elise to her fancy hotel suite and...suffice it to say that Frank is now caught up in everything that Elise is caught up in...and WE are caught up in one spellbinding movie!

There are two plot twists in The Tourist that (unless you're Sherlock Holmes) will dispel the major assumptions you've drawn about each of these characters. The one at the end stretches the bounds of believability like the elastic on that one pair of undies you've been wearing now for the last five years. WHO CARES? It's the movies...remember?

Johnny Depp gives what must be the most understated performance of his career, but the reasons for that will fall into place at the end, at which point you'll be able to appreciate it for what it is. (What...you want him to be the swashbuckler every time? Hey--he's run out of eyeliner!)

Jolie, who is about to be inducted into the BIG LIPS AND MOUTH HALL OF FAME (along with Carly Simon, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, and Lisa Rinna) is elegant, playful, witty, daring, and self-confident as Elise.

The Tourist was a fun ride that I will likely take again--the second time knowing what I know, and watching for subtle hints in facial expressions that may give more away than what I was able to catch onto the first time around.

Grade: B +

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