TAG (2018)

Rated:  R

STARS: Ed Helms, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Jake Johnson, Kevin Sable, Isla Fisher
DIRECTOR: Jeff Tomsic
GENRE: Comedy

There's a playfully suggestive song that goes back to the early fifties called, "It Ain't The Meat It's The Motion." Turn that little pearl of prurient profundity  onto its head and you've got the new comedy, Tag--a wild romp of a film that's 's filled with cartoonish sight gags (they run, they tackle each other, they smash up shit)--lots of motion but no meat, or food for thought. That is, until the last third of the movie, when it redeems itself...at least to where I didn't have to give it a totally crappy rating. More on that in a moment.

Five "adult" men (played by Ed Helms, Jon Hamm, Jeremy Renner, Jake Johnson, and Kevin Sable) get together each May and continue a long-standing tradition, a game of tag they've been playing since the first grade! But like many of the games people play (politics and the like), it has gotten out of hand, and now nothing else matters but to win the game. The current objective is to take down the one group member, Jerry (Jeremy Renner), who incredibly has never been tagged. A plan has been set in motion to get him at his wedding on the last day of the month, figuring he'll be a sitting duck. But Jerry is clever as an elusive Soviet agent--giving Tag the feel of a spy thriller on laughing gas.   

Just when you think that the crazy chase is all the substance this movie has--they'll get him or they won't--the group members must suddenly face their own consciences, as in when does the relentless pursuit of an objective (or an ideology, perhaps) come into conflict with one's sense of human decency? And which one wins out? And that, kiddies, is nothing less than the moral dilemma America is faced with at the moment. So there's more to Tag than initially meets the eye. 

But it comes too little too late to save this film from the Mediocrity Hall Of Fame. All the slapstick gets  tedious after a while, and I was left with a hunger for a little more meat and a lot less motion.

Grade:  C  
   

JILL'S TAKE

Tag makes Animal House look like Gone With The Wind.  Or, for those of you unfamiliar with those two classics, Tag sucks the big one. Unlike Tim, I found no redeeming features in this turkey.  The subtitle should have been 'Peter Pans On Steroids.'  How actors like Oscar-nominee Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker) and Golden Globe winner Jon Hamm (Mad Men) got talked into doing this movie is as unbelievable to me as the movie itself. 

I wish I could find something positive to say.  I can't.  I really wanted to walk out of this one before it ended but someone had said the real men the story was based on were shown at the end.  And they were: paunchy, forgettable-looking guys. Playing tag was probably the highlight of their lives.  But it certainly wasn't mine!

And Isla Fisher should be ashamed of herself for playing the competitive harpie married to Ed Helms' character.  Her foul-mouthed mega-aggressive persona set back the image of a liberated woman by centuries.  Yuk!

So my advice?  Don't waste your money.

Grade: F

CHAPPAQUIDDICK (2018)

Rated:  PG-13

STARS: Jason Clarke, Ed Helms, Kate Mara, Bruce Dern
DIRECTOR: John Curran
GENRE: Historical Docudrama

Recalling my youthful impressions of what the Chappaquiddick incident was about: It's 1969 and Senator Ted Kennedy is driving home from a party late at night...possibly drunk...with a young worker from his late brother Bobby's campaign--Mary Jo Kopechne--when he runs off a bridge...the car is submerged...Kennedy escapes...she doesn't...he claims to have made valiant efforts to rescue her...he waits eight or so hours--pondering how to handle the situation--before reporting the incident to the authorities. He may have been boinking her.

As it turns out, my recollections were spot on according to the known facts as they are presented in Chappaquiddick. What remains unknown---and forever so--and the speculation surrounding it to this day is what keeps the film from being a boring documentary style retelling of old news.   

But if you're looking for fresh insights to lead you to one conclusion or another as to what really occurred on that fateful night, you won't find them--save for a couple of brief scenes that suggest the senator and Mary Joe may have engaged in some hanky-panky earlier in the evening. 

Chappaquiddick cuts Kennedy no slack, portraying him as shallow and more angst-ridden over the political ramifications to his possible presidential bid than he was over the snuffing out of a young life due to his negligence.  Jason Clarke, as the senator, brings these qualities out in spades. Kate Mara, as Mary Jo, doesn't get enough screen time (as you might expect) to bring any depth to the character of Ms. Kopechne. Bruce Dern, in what has to be the strangest and most WTF role of his career, plays a grotesque, near mute papa Joseph Kennedy, whose guttural utterances demonstrate his disdain for his only surviving son in scenes that are played to their maximum dramatic potential. Ed Helms, as cousin Joe Gargan--one of the senator's "fixers"--gives the strongest performance of the ensemble crew.  

Down the aisle from me, a coterie of older folks tittered away...derisively yukking it up virtually every time Teddy came on screen. In other words, the entire length of this brooding film--revealing themselves as being obviously from the "other side."  Reveling gleefully again in the man's misfortune! There's plenty of grist for them here too. Some will even interpret Chappaquiddick as a straight up hit piece on the Kennedy clan, and by implication, the progressive ideology they embraced--the timing of its release no coincidence in this critical election year. Anyway, prepare to be annoyed by such boisterous folk in the theater, depending on the random luck of where you are seated.  

If I were them, I'd have piped down and observed and taken a lesson from the master spin doctors who helped to resurrect Ted Kennedy's political career to where he was reelected to the U.S. senate continuously for another forty years until his death in 2009. Because when it comes to the art of the spin, their current heroes are tripping all over themselves. 

Grade:  B

JILL'S TAKE

As someone well acquainted with the environs of Cape Code and Martha's Vineyard, I felt Chappaquiddick portrayed both beach life and the world of the not-so-idle rich to perfection.  Kudos to cinematographer Maryse Alberti.  In watching the story of young Ted's self-serving neglect, I kept hoping none of the surviving Kennedys would watch this cinematic hatchet job on their uncle.  We all make mistakes....Granted, not as horrific as this one was....

I think the screenplay took certain liberties.  For example, it is widely known that Joseph Kennedy never spoke another word after his stroke. But the scene -- whether accurate or not -- where two of Ted's closest pals went diving in the water trying desperately to save Mary Jo while Ted lay prostrate on the dock was a definite shocker. 

An odd bit of casting was comedian Jim Gaffigan as states attorney Paul F. Marham.  A close friend of Teddy's, he willingly bent the truth for his drinking buddy. Be that as it may, I couldn't help watching Gaffigan in the role and recalling many of his comedy bits.  ("hot pockets," etc.)

I wasn't the least bit bored by this rehashing of history.  I did, however, wonder who Ann (Joseph Kennedy's caretaker) was.  A relative?  A nurse? Because she wielded quite a bit of power in this family drama, her relationship should have been explained. 

Not a film for everyone, especially if you're a  Kennedy worshipper.  But Jason Clark's performance is worth the price of a ticket.

Grade:  B+

THE HANGOVER PART III (2013)

Rated: R

Stars: Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, John Goodman, Melissa McCarthy, Justin Bartha

Director: Todd Phillips

Genre:  Gross-out Comedy


It's hard to catch lightning in a bottle. Todd Phillips and company did it with the original film, which was an instant classic, but you know, milking that cash cow is so hard to resist,(ask Sylvester Stallone) so now we have two sequels that pale in comparison to The Hangover. 

The Hangover Part III is uneven and inexplicably mean-spirited in tone (I've never understood the mindset that thinks animal cruelty is funny). The film's saving grace, I suppose, is that it's frat-boy humor--and that's what this is from start to finish--slaughters all  sacred cows, so no one should complain that they've been singled out. Yes, there are laughs here and there, but it's the scattershot approach to humor--as in throwing a bunch of crap up against the wall--some of it's going to stick, and some of it is going to plop flat.

In a departure from the formula for the first two films, The Hangover Part III is targeting the action/adventure crowd, as it follows The Wolfpack (Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, and Justin Bartha) from Mexico to Las Vegas, with bang 'em up car chases  and dudes getting shot, as the manhunt is on for the maniacal Mr.Chow (Ken Jeong). Chow has ripped-off mega millions in gold bullion from crime boss Marshall,(John Goodman)who has commissioned our boys to bring him back, or else. 

Chow is an over-the-top caricature of an out of control sociopath who has no regard for any kind of life--human or animal--and merely does what is is callously expedient to serve his own single-minded purpose.  He is so far from plausible as any kind of real person that the writers apparently figured anything  and everything  he does will get a guffaw out of some sick puppy in the audience, and even if there are only varied and scattered  pockets of laughter, everyone should come away with at least one or two bits they felt were really bitchin.'

I dunno, I get the impression Bradly Cooper was slumming in this project, as was Ed Helms, who is a considerable comic presence in his own right--as he has shown in the TV hit The Office , and his starring gig in Cedar Rapids--but there wasn't enough room for him to shine with Zach Galifianakis' and Ken Jeong's antics dominating.

While Mr. Chow is the despicable anti-hero, Alan, (Galifianakis) who is equally amoral in his own way, (opening the movie transporting  a CGI  giraffe down the freeway, its neck too long to clear one of the underpasses, and...)is a more endearing presence as the clueless man-child.

The Hangover III is like the third hangover you get when you start drinking as a teenager. The first two you can rack up to innocence and inexperience, but the third one, there's no real excuse for it. And puzzling--to say the least--why, in a film aimed primarily at younger guys, there's no T & A worth mentioning (and I'm wording it that way to forewarn you of a sight gag at the end that flops.) 

There is one great line here, though, and that is as the Wolfpack are cruising into Las Vegas, and someone says  offhandedly, "Somebody should burn this place to the ground."

That really made me smile.

Grade: C--

JILL'S TAKE

Oh dear. I hate to ruin that clever visual of me and Tim as boxing 'roos, never quite agreeing on anything. But I'm definitely in his corner when it comes to HANGOVER, PART III. Okay. Every once in a while, like all the other sick puppies in the audience, I'd laugh. I'm a sucker for sight gags. But this film has so little to recommend it that I actually felt guilty for laughing.

What's good about it?

If you've never visited Vegas, you'll feel like you have after watching the long, lingering shots of Caesar's Palace, the water fountains outside The Bellagio, The Strip....

I'm a big fan of Zach Galifianakis so I was looking forward to more of his endearing antics. I'd seen his comedy special on HBO and the guy is truly brilliant. But not in this piece of cinematic claptrap.

Another brilliant comedienne whose talents are underused in HANGOVER, PART III is Oscar nominee Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids, 2011), who plays Cassie, a less-than-feminine clerk working behind the counter of video games arcade. (Or was it a casino?) Doesn't matter, really, as she was given less on-camera time than the giraffe! As for People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive!" (2011), I'll bet Bradley Cooper is a lot prouder of that achievement than appearing in this over-hyped, super hapless sequel.

Grade: D

CEDAR RAPIDS (2011)

Rated: R

Stars: Ed Helms, Anne Heche, John C. Reilly, Isiah Whitlock, Jr., Alia

Shawkat, Sigourney Weaver, Kurtwood Smith, Stephen Root

Director: Miguel Arteta

Genre: Dark Comedy

Cedar Rapids, IOWA--where I lived and worked for a time WAY back in the day. The folks there were--shall we say--not terribly hip. As a young dude, I sported longish hair, and the people would literally hang out their car windows, pointing and laughing at me as I crossed the street! (DUDE LOOK LIKE A LADY...HHAWW!)

Ironic that the same town of today (which appears to be all built up and grown up...I didn't recognize any of it) serves as a metaphor for sophistication in the ultimately sweet, and bittersweet comedy, Cedar Rapids. Sophisticated in comparison to Brown Valley, Wisconsin, anyway--where insurance agent Tim Lippe has come from to attend the big convention.

I had to wonder if Ed Helms, who plays Tim as the ultimate country rube, didn't watch Big with Tom Hanks as many times as I did. Hanks' character is literally a 13 year-old trapped inside an adult male's body. Tim Lippe has no such excuse to fall back on. He's a bona fide adult with the emotional maturity of a 13 year-old. Exactly why, we're not sure, because not everyone in Brown Valley is quite as naive. Take, for example, Tim's middle-aged bed buddy, Macy, (Sigourney Weaver) who has been around the block a time or three (she was once his 7th grade teacher!)

Tim's boss, Bill Krogstad (Stephen Root) sends him off to the insurance convention in hopes of capturing the coveted Two Diamonds Award, an honor previously bestowed upon the local agency for a few years running. When Tim lands in "the big town," the first person he meets is a hooker (Alia Shawkat) who is working the hotel circuit. More culture shock follows when he meets his African-American roommate, (Isiah Whitlock, Jr.) and the third roomie--the wild, crazy, and profane Dean Ziegler (John C. Reilly). And Tim will soon fall in with Joan, (Anne Heche) a jaded married chick who approaches these conventions as her one chance to taste some freedom, and a little bit of recklessness. And reckless the exploits of these four will become-- as wild parties, booze, drugs, and hanky-panky begin to transform the straight-laced insurance salesman into something he's not sure he ever wanted to be.

Good performances all around--though people like Tim Lippe exist only in a Norman Rockwell world, so in that respect, Helms' portrayal is over the top when compared to the other characters, each of whom COULD be real! And of all the quirky, colorful personalities in Cedar Rapids, I think I like Bree, the hooker, the best. (No reflection on my personal life--heh heh.) She may be the most pragmatic of the bunch, and she dispenses the film's ultimate nugget of wisdom, about the compromises we all make just to get by.

Cedar Rapids is a film that will linger with you like the faint trace of some intoxicating perfume.

And for a dose of reality, I just read that prostitution is a growing problem in the city. PIMPS AND HOOKERS...WOW! Guess I could walk those streets now with my pony tail and see people who look a lot weirder than me!

How times change.

Grade: B +