BAD TIMES AT THE EL ROYALE (2018)

Rated:  R

STARS: Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, Dakota Johnson, 
Chris Hemsworth, Lewis Pullman, Jon Hamm
DIRECTOR: Drew Goddard
GENRE: Mystery/Suspense

Bad Times At The El Royale is one wild-ass ride of a movie--if I may speak in the vernacular--a jigsaw puzzle that slowly assembles itself into what becomes a clear picture only near the end. It's not going to be for everyone, as evidenced by the older couple I saw getting up and walking out of the theater half way through...you could tell they just didn't get it, and didn't want to wait any longer to see if the pieces were eventually going to fit together.

It's the late sixties. Four strangers show up at a seedy and otherwise deserted Lake Tahoe hotel. The shaggy priest (Jeff Bridges), a cheeky vacuum cleaner salesman (Jon Hamm), a soul singing soul sister (Cynthia Erivo), a bored and uppity mystery woman (Dakota Johnson), and the slacker desk clerk (Lewis Pullman) make up our principal players. It doesn't take long to realize that none of them are really what they appear to be outwardly (including the hotel itself).  These are the surprises that develop along the way. And when what you think is going to be a major character gets taken out fairly early on, it's a wake up call that jolts you out of any notion of getting in a short catnap, and you say...ooookay... what's next???  Which is good because it carries you through a lot of backstory and some scenes that go on too long, most of which serve only to showcase the singing talents of Cynthia Erivo. It's what stretches the film to its bloated two hours and twenty minutes.

 The more Bad Times At The El Royale goes on the more you can see it's getting ready to jump the tracks, and I was trying to think of another flick that gave me those same vibes and flashed on Dusk Til Dawn, a movie that had its moments but then got too crazy and went on for too long. Way too long. 

Still, I've got to admire the effort of a film that shoots for the moon in a quirky art house kind of way, even if it falls short and ends up crashing back into the lake. Three quarters of the way through we're still pretty clueless as to where director Drew Goddard will ultimately lead us, until a villain (Chris Hemsworth) from outside the core group appears, and it's game on for a bloody Tarentino-esque climax. Through it all there's a message about killing that emerges--it's wrong no matter what the context or justification (as in war)--which has to be brought out, of course, through a lot of the same.

Jeff Bridges is the reason why we are here in the first place (I'm a fan) and he doesn't disappoint with his portrayal of the dissipated, hard drinking priest.

Dakota Johnson, who's made her name of late in the world of soft-core kink with the Fifty Shades franchise, tries for a step up in class here and accomplishes at least that much--after all she's in a Jeff Bridges film--and opted for a part where she keeps her clothes on the whole time!  .

Bad Times At The El Royale is fascinating in the way that a train wreck is fascinating. You can't look away. But that doesn't make it any less of a disaster.

Grade:  C +

JILL'S TAKE

I'm with the older couple who left early, Tim. Only I've never, in my life, left a movie before it's over. On principle. I kept musing all through this turkey that last week I saw 'the best film of 2018' (A Star Is Born) and now I'm watching 'the worst film of 2018.' There has to be another word for slow to describe this puzzling piece of cinematic drivel.... Sluggish? Stagnant? Snail like? Those synonyms don't begin to describe Bad Times at the El Royale.

The only thing I kept asking myself throughout was "What the hell is this movie about?" (I had to read Tim's review to get the jist of what director/writer Drew Goddard was trying to convey.) The descriptive blurb on IMDb also helped "Over the course of one fateful night, everyone will have a last shot at redemption - before everything goes to hell."

The only thing I really dug about this movie were the wonderful closeups of that vintage Wurlitzer jukebox. Made me miss the days when those music machines were housed in every restaurant and bar across America.

I also liked Cynthia Erivo's chops. Who is she, anyway? According to Wikipedia, she's a Brit who won a Tony (Best Actress in a Musical) in the Broadway revival of "The Color Purple." What a voice! Still. It wasn't worth the reduced price I paid. In my view, 'a bad time is what you'll get if you go to this mawkish mystery."

Grade: F

CATFIGHT (2017)

NR

STARS: Sandra Oh, Anne Heche, Alicia Silverstone
DIRECTOR: Oner Tukel
GENRE: Dark Comedy


We tend to think of a "catfight" as a snotty verbal altercation between two women that might, if it gets out of hand, devolve into some hair pulling. This ain't that kinda thing. This is Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed. Bare knuckled.

And in this corner, weighing one hundred and seventeen pounds...

Don't be deceived. Catfight pits a couple of cinematic heavyweights--Sandra Oh and Anne Heche--against one another in a knockdown drag out slugfest of epic proportions!

Sandra Oh Plays Veronica--a self-absorbed housewife married to a wealthy industrialist war profiteer.  Anne Heche is a struggling lesbian artist. Freud would have a field day with her paintings. They haven't seen each other since college when their paths cross at a glitzy birthday party. Old resentments surface. Verbal barbs begin to fly, and soon thereafter the fists. Veronica gets the worst of it and ends up in a coma. For two years. Meanwhile, Ashley's fortunes have changed, and she is now a celebrated artist. Veronica has lost everything and takes work as a maid. 

Fate throws the two of them together again and another brawl ensues. This time Ashley loses--by a knockout--and ends up in a coma. For two years. When she awakens, all her funds have gone to pay the medical bills, and her notoriety is gone. And the first one now shall later be last...there but for fortune...and all that. I love the symmetry of it. In all, there are three grudge matches between them where the punches fly and the blood flows freely. Some people are just always rubbing you the wrong way.

Catfight makes its satirical statement in a not so subtle way. No reading between the lines required. It has to do with, among other things, our national obsession with violence and war. With every punch thrown, there's the mandatory SOCKO sound effect (which you don't hear in a real fight) that's in every TV show and movie that features fisticuffs. Which is most of them. 

Sit in front of the tube for a couple hours and take note of the shows they promo during the breaks. What do they show in these short clips? Somebody getting punched or shot. We've grown so numb to it, we're no longer aware of what it's saying about us. Maybe a clue to that is in the "Fart Machine"--a guy who interrupts the late night TV host's monologue by parading out and feigning flatulence. Everybody who watches this is highly amused--and, of course, distracted from what's really going on around them. (A statement about our declining intelligence level?)

Catfight is like a hot fudge sundae. Dark and delicious. And yes, dark humor requires something of a sophisticated mindset to be able to differentiate it from that which is being presented as deadly serious. Through humor the most serious of issues are often examined. The darker the humor, the more deadly serious those issues can be. And that's why humor should not be taken lightly.

Grade:  B +  

JILL'S TAKE

OMG! I can't believe what I just read. At the end of Catfight, I turned to Tim and whispered, "This is, bar none, the worst f---ing movie I've ever seen!" Dark humor be damned. The tag line of this turkey should have read: "Thelma and Louise Meet Wrestlemania" with a little Animal House thrown in for good measure. Sheesh! (My personal expression of disgust.)

I can just imagine the "pitch" for this non film went something like, "Listen, JB. Let's get two bankable female stars to beat each other up for 96 minutes. We've seen tons of movies where guys do it but it's time to give women their due." Billed as a 'black and blue comedy,' the plot was so unbelievable, and the violence so un-funny, that I just plain hated it. Except for the musical score. They don't list a scorer but the musical supervisor, Devoe Yates, must have had a blast picking famous classical themes such as Grieg's "Anitra's Dance" to contrast with the battles going on onscreen. Still, I have a problem with violent comedies. (I wasn't particularly amused by Married to The Mob or My Cousin Vinny, either.) Maybe it's just me. After all, the Tomatometer gave it 76% -- but the audience score wasn't nearly as favorable...

The really sad part? Catfight is the last movie Tim and I will see together. I leave for California in two days. For good. We'll still write our joint reviews long distance but it won't be quite the same without him quietly disagreeing with me (or not!) as the credits roll. 

Grade:: F

THE REVENANT (2015)

Rated:  R

STARS: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy, Domhnall Gleeson, Will Poulter, Forrest Goodluck 
DIRECTOR: Alejandro Inarritu
GENRE: Drama/Action-Adventure

The best and most technically impressive scene in The Revenant comes early on when Leonardo DiCaprio's character, Hugh Glass--one of a cadre of 19th century fur trappers out in the woods slaughtering animals for fun and profit--gets mauled by a gigantic CG bear from hell. Not just mauled, but f--ked up to within an inch of his life. Any normal person wouldn't survive. But this is DiCaprio, the star of the film, so we know he's going to pull through. And that's a big flaw in terms of killing any suspense there might have been as to the ultimate outcome of the encounter.   

Glass recovers in achingly protracted fashion, and sets off to find the man--John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy)--who left him out there for dead in the snow. It's a simple tale of survival and revenge--a grisly, bloody, ultra violent tour-de-force from director Alejandro Inarritu, who is shooting for his second Best Picture Oscar in as many years. (Birdman in 2014).  But if non-stop gore isn't your cup of tea and you're looking for something of more depth, I suggest you see Brooklyn instead. 

The Revenant is also nominated in a slew of other categories, including Best Actor for Leonardo DiCaprio. If there were an Oscar for grimacing, grunting, groaning, spitting up and straining to speak unintelligibly, DiCaprio would certainly deserve it.  If there were an award for physical exertion, he'd deserve that as well. And if there were a Best Performance While Gnawing On Raw Animal Flesh...he would win hands down!  But Best Actor? Not this turn.

The Revenant DOES deserve--and should win--the trophies for Cinematography, Film Editing, Sound Editing, and Visual Effects. Best Picture? My vote still goes to Brooklyn. 

Oh, and I sat patiently through the entire scroll of credits at the end--nearly as long as a short film in itself--waiting to see the reassuring "no animals were harmed" notation at the end. It didn't appear. Never a good sign. 

Grade: B -


JILL'S TAKE

Sometimes, when I see a film, an actor's performance makes me say to myself (or the stranger sitting next to me!), "That actor's gonna win an Oscar!" I felt this way about Tom Hardy in The Revenant. He was as deliciously villainous in his role as Anthony Hopkins was in Silence Of The Lambs. If it had been back in the days of silent movies, I'll bet the audience would've been booing him in every scene. Alas, his competitors in Best Supporting Actor this year (Christian Bale, Mark Ruffalo, Mark Rylance and Sylvestor Stallone) will probably prevent Tom Hardy from winning. But he definitely deserves the award.

As for The Revenant? A brilliant film deserving of the 12 Oscar nominations it received. Grunting and mumbling aside, Leo's performance in this 156-minute film is certainly Oscar-worthy. If for nothing else, his physical stamina. I personally liked the fact that it took so long—in cinematic terms—for him to recover. And in that time, we were treated to some of the most visually stunning nature photography I've ever seen. It's nearly impossible to believe that this same director filmed Birdman -- which took place largely in dressing rooms and on stage.

I can't heap enough praise on this movie. And when DiCaprio accepted his win at The Golden Globes ceremony, I was gratified to hear him thank all the Native Americans that helped make the film possible. I'd like to come up with a criticism, no matter how minor, but I'm finding it difficult to do. Perhaps the title could have been less obscure. A friend told me it meant "someone who seeks revenge." But when I looked it up, the definition read: "a person who has returned, especially from the dead." Either definition works. But obscure movie titles aren't my thing.

Grade: A

  

SICARIO (2015)

Rated: R

STARS: Emily Blunt, Benecio Del Toro, Josh Brolin
DIRECTOR: Denis Villeneuve
GENRE: Action/Thriller

There's an old song from the seventies by Dave Mason, with a refrain that goes: ...there ain't no good guy...there ain't no bad guy...and that seems to be the not so subtle point Sicario is making about the failed and misguided American war on drugs. 

Emily Blunt is Kate, an idealistic FBI agent who gets recruited to join an inter-agency task force that aims to bring down a brutal Mexican drug cartel jefe.  

To accomplish their objective, they must first make a foray into the most lawless and dangerous cesspool in the western hemisphere--Juarez--to kidnap one of the cartel's top men. As she is drawn deeper into the violence and moral ambiguity of the mission, Kate's ethical compass is spinning out of control. 

Blunt has shown she is capable of much more depth and nuance (in films such as Sunshine Cleaning and The Adjustment Bureau) than what this role affords her the opportunity to display. And I scratch my head as to why she was drawn to the film to begin with, other than maybe she's always wanted to play an action hero?   

The pros of Sicario are the gritty performances from Josh Brolin, as undercover CIA guy, Matt Graver;  and Benicio Del Toro, Matt's partner--a loose cannon intent upon exacting a personal revenge. The cons, in my opinion, are the grisly scenes of violence (unless you are pathologically drawn to that sort of thing, like SOME people I know), particularly the shocker near the end that only serves to attempt to justify the utter depravity that we, as humans, will resort to with our eye for an eye, end-justifies-the-means mentality.

 Bottom line...if you're thirsty for blood, forgo the latest vampire movie and see Sicario instead.    

Grade:  C

JILL'S TAKE

I can't imagine who Tim might be referring to when he talks about aficionados of violence! Me, I thirst after blood when it's part of the story. And, indeed, Sicario offers a lot of it. It also offers an abundance of confusion. Not just for Emily Blunt's character, who is kept in the dark for two-thirds of the film. I, too, was totally confused. As a rule, I like good villains (good as in nasty, cruel, sadistic, etc.). But I couldn't decide between Josh Brolin's perpetual sneer and Benicio Del Toro's squinty eyes. I will, however, give mucho kudos to Benicio (Benny for short) for his stellar performance.

For me, the real star of this vehicle was the scorer, Jóhann Jóhannsson, whose repetitive themes set a scary mood from beginning to end. Not unlike John Williams' theme in Jaws.

I walked away from this movie, fascinated by the fact that ISIS has now taken over the headlines. You don't hear much about the drug war south of our border these days. The fact that the biggest drug lord of them all, Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, who tunneled his way out of a Mexican jail nearly four months ago, is still on the loose is hardly mentioned. Guess that's the point of Sicario. You can't catch 'em all, even in the movies.

Grade: B

KICK-ASS--2010

Rated: R

Stars: Aaron Johnson, Chloe Moretz, Nicholas Cage, Mark Strong

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Genre: Action, Dark Comedy

We've been conditioned to the same formula for comic book superheroes ever since Clark Kent ducked into that phone booth, donned those form-fitting tights, and went out to kick some ass. So when a comic-adaptation film like Kick Ass comes along where this nerdy kid gets a mail-order superhero costume, hits the streets to engage the bad guys, only to discover that he has no latent super-normal abilities and is running only on bravado--and, of course, sheer stupidity--we keep expecting SOMETHING to kick in to give him an edge when some truly bad dudes start mopping the floor with his sorry ass. This endears him to us all the more, because he's just like most of us everyday stiffs who are trying to live an honorable life and are appalled by some of the stuff that goes down in the world (only his cojones are bigger than most!)

When his exploits make the headlines, Kick Ass--which is what hapless teen Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) has dubbed his alter-ego-- spawns a couple of more effective caped crusaders in the dad/daughter duo of Hit Girl, (Chloe Moretz) and her somewhat off-kilter father, Big Daddy, (Nicholas Cage) who come to bail Kick-Ass out when he has drawn the attention and the ire of ruthless crime syndicate boss Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong).

The violence and the splatter-gore of Kick-Ass (based on the comic by Mark Millar) can only be described as cartoonish--it's so over the top it makes Sam Peckinpah look like Walt Disney, and can't be taken seriously. And yet, one could make a case that it's just one more milestone on the to-hell-in-a-hand-basket road of numbness and moral decay our society is headed down.

Another controversy-sparking milestone in Kick-Ass has to be what comes out of 11-year old Chloe Moretz's mouth--and yet she's adorable as Hit Girl, even when the F-bombs and other choice epithets begin to fly. After a while it occurred to me that yeah, that IS the way eleven-year olds (and younger) talk. Anyone who doesn't believe it hasn't listened to the kids who pile off the school bus in front of my house on a daily basis.

Despite all that, Kick-Ass is a movie that will bring out the latent superhero in you...all you'll have to do is decide which silly looking costume to wear.

Grade: B +