Monday, April 6, 2020


Rated: NR

STARS: Ivan Massague, Zorion Eguileor, Antonia San Juan
DIRECTOR: Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia
GENRE: Horror/ Science Fiction

It's "trickle down economics" taken to it's most literal extreme! The Platform, from Spanish director Galder-Gaztelu-Urrutia, is a crazy gross-out horror flick that wants to deliver a message about the haves and the have-nots, and how the haves are selfish and disdainful of those below them (in today's world the haves are the ones who got there early enough to scarf up all the toilet paper, and the rest of your asses be damned). But it's the same point Bernie Sanders has been making since day one in a much less cringeworthy fashion.   

Goreng (Ivan Massague) wakes up in this weird dystopian prison facility, and is informed by his older cellmate, Trimagasi (Zorion Eguileor) of how things work. There are over two hundred levels in this place, and the ones on the top level eat like kings, then a platform with their leftovers on it gets sent down this big elevator shaft to the lower levels. Depending on what level you're on, you may get to eat, or you may not get to eat. 

Trimagasi has it down pat. You eat like a pig for the few minutes the platform stops at your level, before it starts descending and making its next stops. Prisoners get shuffled around periodically to different levels, so those at the bottom are not always stuck there and vice-versa. Don't get too used to your good fortune, because it's only temporary.  Kinda like real life on any level. 

I have always found it disgusting watching people eat, and this guy shoveling it into his pie hole is the first gross-out moment. But when it turns cannibalistic, The Platform reaches a new level of depravity.

Others come along, men and women--they seem to just drop in on Goreng--and there's even a little "dirty" sex on the menu (between people who must not have showered for months or years). People get peed on. People get shat upon. There were many look-away moments for me.

Goreng maintains his humanity to some degree (for a cannibal), and laments that if everyone took only what they needed, there'd be enough to go around for all. 

The Platform is not for polite company. Unless you have a dark, dark, sense of humor and a strong stomach, you'll want to skip this barf-inducing bonanza.

Now playing on Netflix.

Grade:  D


'Barf-inducing bonanza.' I like it, Timoteo. (How 'bout 'an upchuck extravaganza' or 'puke-worthy cinema'?) All I can say about this weird, weird film is: I am very impressed. Not with The Platform but with the fact that my co-writer actually watched it all the way through! I did, too. (While I was trying to eat my dinner....)

Let me start with the good stuff. I thought the opening theme music was pretty darn spooky. (Buen trabajo, Senor Calleja!)

I wish I had more to say about this film. Nothing stirs my craving for vicarious violence more than a good prison drama. But once it's set in the future, I lose interest. And I found the premise a bit repetitive. I mean how much food, in various states of disgustingness, can you keep offering the viewer?

Sadly, the recent movies on Netflix leave a lot to be desired. Not so with the bingeworthy series such as "Ozark," "Rectify," "Unbelievable," "Hell On Wheels," "Frankie & Grace," to name a few.  But we can't exactly review episode-by-episode, can we. So far, we've been opining about unadulterated dreck. But just like real life right now, I'm hoping things'll get better soon!

Grade: F