THE RHYTHM SECTION (2020)

Rated: R

STARS: Blake Lively, Jude Law
DIRECTOR: Reed Morano
GENRE: Action/Adventure 

You go into a revenge/vigilante justice movie with a female lead like this one hoping it might be as engaging as The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, but The Rhythm Section just seems awkwardly out of tune.

Clearly, we are meant to root for our protagonist. But I didn't find her to be that likable of a character as she goes about her bloody eye-for-an-eye quest to avenge her family, who were killed in a plane that was brought down by a terrorist bomb.

When we meet Stephanie Patrick (Blake Lively) she's a drug addicted prostitute--apparently brought to this level by the grief she is suffering. She is nervous and fidgety, and she makes you nervous watching her. When asked politely by someone to put out her cigarette, she keeps puffing disdainfully away (I hate that.)

A journalist posing as a client tips her off that the man responsible for making the bomb is right there in London. Geez....what the hell is she gonna do with that? After some soul searching, she seeks out a former MI6 agent (Jude Law) who gives her the standard admonishment that going after this guy isn't going to be worth it. But she's determined, so he puts her through some rigorous paramilitary training (which involves him beating on her a lot until she learns how to fight back), and then she is ready to go kick ass.

While searching for the bomb maker, she learns of other players who were connected to the crime, so she has to go after them too. The stage is set for a lot of hand-to-hand combat, knifings and shootings, and a lot of bouncing off the walls and crap getting smashed up.

The soundtrack is an odd mixture of songs with perhaps unintentional comic undertones. Including: "I'm Waiting for the Man" by the Velvet Underground; "It's Now Or Never" by Elvis; "I'm Sorry" from Brenda Lee; and "Dream A Little Dream of Me" by the lovely Mama Cass. 

The Islamic terrorist types she's going after are strangers to her and to us, known only by name until she encounters them. We are shown no backstory on these guys, so there's no emotional investment for us to say yeah, get this dude because he's pure evil! 

There's a twist at the end which shows you really can't trust anybody or anything (especially the impressions you get from looking at movie trailers!)

About halfway through I was doing a George H.W. Bush and looking at my watch, and that's never a good sign. 

Grade:  D

JILL'S TAKE

What a sorry way to begin reviewing the new batch of 2020 movies! Until Jude Law came on the scene, it was all I could do to keep my eyes open. And who the hell is Blake Lively? Her film credits are remarkably unmemorable and, as far as I can tell, her biggest accomplishment so far has been marrying Ryan Reynolds.

As far as her role in The Rhythm Section goes, I give her high marks for looking realistically prostitutional and for working her ass off in all the (oh god, not another one!) fight scenes. For all you victimized women out there, this movie would probably be cathartic for you. Me? I felt victimized by the movie itself....

So many characters, so little time to get to love or hate them. I recognized some of the actors and found myself pondering where I'd seen them before rather than paying attention to the plot. Aha! Sterling K. Brown (one of the numerous bad guys) is in NBC's popular TV series "This Is Us." And Raza Jeffrey (was he another bad guy or the journalist?) appeared in Showtime's "Homeland." Believe me, this film will definitely not help their careers.

The only positive thing I can say about The Rhythm Section is you get to see a lot of great shots of different cities: Tangiers, London, New York, etc. Hats off to cinematographer Sean Bobbitt. (No relation to Lorena's hubby, hopefully!)

Tim and I are on the same cinematic page with this one.

Grade: D

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LAST CHRISTMAS (2019)

Rated:  PG-13

STARS: Emilia Clarke, Henry Golding, Michelle Yeoh, Emma Thompson
DIRECTOR: Paul Feig
GENRE: Romantic Comedy

When I saw the previews for Last Christmas I thought great, here's a perfectly timed romantic comedy for the holidays inspired by the songs of George Michael! I like the holidays and I like George Michael--especially the now classic song from whence the movie takes its name. So I was looking forward to seeing it. I even thought it might have a Love Actually vibe to it (one of my all-time favorite films). But any similarity between Last Christmas and Love Actually was strictly the product of my overly optimistic and misguided imagination.

Last Christmas is a Lifetime channel movie all the way--except instead of being on your TV it's up on the big screen and you get to pay for the pleasure of luxuriating in its vacuous millennial-ness.

Emilia Clarke is Kate, who works as a Christmas elf in a year-round holiday themed shop in London. She's estranged from her family, and is homeless by choice, crashing wherever she can wangle a place for the night--male accompaniment (but not batteries) sometimes included. It gets her (and her wicket) in some sticky situations. She's spinning her wheels, much like the go-nowhere plot during most of this movie.

Then along comes Tom (Henry Golding) who takes a persistent interest in her. Before long he has broken down her wary resistance, imploring her to always LOOK UP! When she does, a bird craps on her face, much to the delight of the sniggering adolescent who lives on inside of me.

There is something off about Tom. He shows up, then repeatedly disappears, much to the chagrin and frustration of Kate. That's tied in with the BIG TWIST near the end, which I didn't see coming because I nodded off a couple of times and missed a few things. 

Clarke is just eye candy here, she's not going to win any acting awards. Emma Thompson, however, who co-wrote the screenplay, is the recipient of numerous prestigious awards. So you wonder why she'd want this stinker on her resume. She plays Kate's mother, with a sincere but not terribly convincing Balkan accent (the family are immigrants from the former Yugoslavia).

In the numerous ways that Last Christmas is disappointing, the biggest is that we only hear a snippet of the title song by George Michael over the opening credits. It returns near the end, performed in heartwarming fashion by Clarke and a cadre of "lovable" bums and eccentrics who frequent the homeless shelter where she volunteers. It's all warm and fuzzy, and it's the high point of the film, inspiring me to raise my rating one notch above what I could have given the movie. Because hey...it's Christmas!

Grade:  D

JILL'S TAKE

In all six years that I've been contributing to this blog, I don't believe I've ever graded a movie with an "F." Until now. Emma Thompson – a fine actress who has won 2 Oscars: Best Actress, Howards End, 1993; Best Writing, Screenplay based on Material Previously Produced or Published, Sense and Sensibility, 1996) –should be dipped in a vat of Christmas pudding for her involvement in this 'badbuster' bomb. Not only did she act (overact, really), she co-created the story (such as it was), co-wrote the script (such as that was) and produced the bloody film.

Inspired by George Michael's lyrics from Last Christmas, the words are worth quoting: Last Christmas...I gave you my heart...But the very next day you gave it away...This year...To save me from tears...I'll give it to someone special

Clearly Ms. Thompson and her English cronies thought taking those words literally would make an instant hit. (In cardiac circles, maybe.) But give me a break. Just for the hell of it, I looked up "Movies Based On Song Titles." Would you like to take a guess how many have hit the big screen? 138! That's right. Here are a few that built their film foundation on Christmas ditties: White Christmas (1954), Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964), All I Want For Christmas (1991), I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998), Deck the Halls (2006), to name a few.

My advice? If you're looking for a mistletoe high, rent White Christmas. You sure as snowballs won't get it from Last Christmas!

Grade: F

PHANTOM THREAD (2017)

Rated:  R

STARS: Daniel Day Lewis, Vicky Krieps, Lesley Manville
DIRECTOR: Paul Thomas Anderson
GENRE: Drama

There is a mindset that we should indulge the "mad geniuses"--and all of their idiosyncracies--because of the contribution they are making to their art, or whatever their chosen field of endeavor may be. Phantom Thread is two plus hours of such indulgence--a character study of Reynolds Woodcock (Daniel Day Lewis), dressmaker and designer for the rich and famous in 1950s London, who reveres his deceased mother in a way that suggests he might have been a mama's boy--and that may provide some insight into his difficult nature. He's obsessed with his work, and therefore annoyed by anything that distracts him from it, and will lash out at you on the slightest provocation. 

Woodcock, a confirmed bachelor, is easily bored with women. Until one day he is smitten by a young girl named Alma (Vicky Krieps), whom he brings into his world as his muse and companion. She's an extremely patient girl--she would have to be--and puts up with his crap because she sees something in him that anyone on the outside--such as the film viewer--would miss. But his petulance wears on her after a time, and she discovers a clever but dangerous way of cutting him down to size--of making him human again and realizing how much he really needs her.  Who wears the pants in the family isn't always apparent upon first glance.

Phantom Thread is all about the characters, and they are richly drawn. Daniel Day Lewis goes out with a bang (he says he's retiring from making movies) with this portrayal of a man at war with his own obsessions. Vicky Krieps, a 34 year-old find from Luxembourg, is perfectly cast in her role as his feisty paramour. She has the face of a Madonna (not that one), and she has the rare ability to convey emotion with economy...the long gaze that gives nothing away initially, but indicates the wheels are turning furiously inside her head. And Lesley Manville, as Woodcock's sister and adviser, Cyril. Behind her prim demeanor, she's tough as nails.  

But not having the same emotional investment in Reynolds Woodcock that Alma did, and still having to put up with all of his boorish behavior, I found Phantom Thread to be as tedious as was the relationship between the two of them...just wishing that he would bite the big one so I could scoot out of there and go get some lunch. 

Grade:  C +

JILL'S TAKE

I had the pleasure of seeing this film with, not one, but two shrinks who enjoyed these characters' skewered psyches a lot more than I did. The first half was so slow that I feared I'd fall asleep and disturb the audience with a loud and unladylike snore. (But they were probably nodding off, too!)

If Phantom Thread had started the moment our young lovely discovered (and acted upon) a culinary way to chill out her unpredictably cruel lover, I wouldn't have been so droopy-eyed. Still, I would've found more than a thimble full of flaws. My shrink friends were able to enjoy the way the director/writer Paul Thomas Anderson captured the true essence of OCD and sado-masochism. But even they disagreed over whether certain scenes were fantasy or reality. Me, I don't like murky messages; endings that leave the viewer puzzled. (Or, in my case, pissed off!)

Two things I did like: Jonny Greenwood's score (eclectic and a definite mood-setter); and whoever was in charge of the sound. I especially appreciated it when Woodcock would fly off the handle at breakfast because of the noise, i.e. bread being buttered, coffee being poured. These sounds were heightened so we heard them from his ears. A brilliant touch, really.

Still, I'd much rather watch "Project Runway."

Grade: C -