A CURE FOR WELLNESS (2017)

Rated: R

STARS: Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs, Mia Goth
DIRECTOR: Gore Verbinski
GENRE: Horror/Thriller

If I had checked beforehand to see that The Cure For Wellness was two and a half hours long, I never would have agreed to see it in the first place. But on the strength of Jill having a thing for the lead actor, I said what the hell. I have since realized that I need to be WAY more discriminating in my film choices!!!

Lockhart (Dane DeHaan) is a young finance director for a blatantly greedy corporate entity who travels to a mysterious rehab facility in the Swiss alps to retrieve the company's CEO, who seems to have gotten hung up there and doesn't want to come back. He has some difficulty locating the head honcho within the facility, and before you know it, Lockhart, in classic horror/thriller fashion, finds himself an unwitting patient instead of a visitor. What's keeping him there is whatever is in the water that everyone is encouraged to partake of profusely. Stupid horror flick mistake number one: When you go to another country, don't drink the water!

There's a backstory about the "wellness center" being built on the ruins of a castle that was inhabited by a baron who wanted an heir of pure blood, so he gets it on with his sister. The villagers learn of this debauchery and come with their torches ablaze--the villagers are always carrying torches in every B movie since Frankenstein--and burn the place down. This all has much relevance to the current bizarro director of the spa, Dr. Heinrich Volmer (Jason Isaacs), and off we go into one of those so-and-so-is-the-reincarnation-of so-and-so things and it's not very original but may appeal to those who love that time weathered plot.

Lockhart meets a strange teenage girl with haunted eyes named Hannah (Mia Goth) who is also "taking the cure," but in fact has been held there, apparently, for all of her days. (Mia Goth is a 23 year-old actress playing a girl of fifteen or so, and she passes believably for that age. She and Jesse Eisenberg should get together and they could play Hansel and Gretel in some film and both of them would just totally look the part.)

So on we go, cuz there's a lot of time to fill, and in time-worn fashion we will find out if Lockhart can extricate himself and the man he came to find from all the weirdness that is going on at the facility--facing roadblocks at every turn, of course. And will he and Hannah ride off into the sunset together--or in this case go drink beer in some pub at the foot of the mountain.

It's not as interesting or as thrilling as I'm making it sound. A good horror flick makes you jump when you least expect it. And it's oooooh scary.  A Cure For Wellness isn't scary. It's just creepy. Really creepy. It pulls out all the stops to bring you cringe-worthy realism depicting heinous and gory cruelty to humans and animals alike. What's the point?  There is no point to this movie, other than to titillate in the cheapest kind of way.  Style over substance. But I'll give them points for style. In fact during the last half hour, I was contemplating giving the film an F, and then I softened some because it's such a totally demented romp that you have to laugh and shake your head and give them credit for doing what they obviously set out to do. The only thing missing is Vincent Price and his blood-curdling laugh from Michael Jackson's "Thriller."    

Grade:  D

JILL'S TAKE

Recently, Tim pointed out to me that several of my reviews say essentially the same thing.  That I'm confused, confounded and don't really "get" what the film is about. Since consistency is something I seriously value, A Cure For Wellness also left me bewildered, bothered but definitely NOT bewitched. It did, however, deliver some scary moments. And as long-running as the movie was, I didn't get bored. Or sleepy.

They pulled out all the stops. Including our handsome hero dashing up and down stairs on crutches due to a broken leg, trying to escape his captors. (I bet Dane DeHaan had to practice that routine a lot!) If you, as a viewer, are the least bit squeamish about watching a graphic sex scene between father and daughter—mind you they are over 200 years old but have somehow managed to stay young-looking—I urge you to pass on this film. (Maybe a better title would have been "Kinkiness From The Crypt"?)

But I do have a thing for the lead actor. Ever since I saw him playing James Dean in the 2015 movie Life. He hooked me even further when I came across him again in the HBO series "In Treatment." But an actor doesn't necessarily make a movie worth seeing...(And as I watched Tim squirm uncomfortably in his seat, convinced that he was about to walk out of the theater, I felt a bit sheepish for talking him into this pseudo scare fest.)

I did love Benjamin Wallfisch's creepy score, though. It added immensely to the tensions of each off-the-wall moment. And let's face, if you want to escape reality, logic and clean living, this movie will do the trick.

Grade: C

45 YEARS (2015)

Rated: R

STARS: Charlotte Rampling, Tom Courtenay
DIRECTOR: Andrew Haigh
GENRE: Drama 


In 45 Years, Charlotte Rampling breaks her string of appearing nude in most every film I've ever seen her in--going back to the sadistic and sexually explicit The Night Porter from 1974. She was the darling of the art house films, where her body was on more prominent display than her acting chops. I only bring it up because now, at age 70, she's regarded as a serious actor--much the same as Helen Mirren, who was free-spirited enough in her youth to display her ample attributes in similar fashion--even appearing in the notorious semi-porn flick, Caligula. Later in life, we watched Mirren glide up to the stage on Oscar night, and now Rampling has an opportunity to do the same with her Best Actress nomination for 45 Years.

Kate and Geoff Mercer have what you'd call a polite relationship. It's all very British. They're not revealing anything that lies beneath the surface. They're planning a party for their forty-fifth wedding anniversary. Everything seems to be on track. Then Geoff receives a letter announcing that "she's been found." The letter refers to an old  girlfriend of his who fell into a crevasse while hiking in the Swiss Alps and perished at the age of 27.  Geoff sits there explaining the letter to Kate in an absent-minded way--he's quite drawn into his thoughts. She thinks it's odd that he never told her about the girl. Well, he thought he did. Maybe it was so long ago that neither of them have much recollection of it.  It could have just stayed one of those curious things between couples who only communicate on a certain level. They would have moved on with their polite lives. If Geoff hadn't become increasingly distracted by the realization that the girl's body would be perfectly preserved after all those years in her icy tomb. She will look just the same as the last time he saw her.

We witness the emotional progressions on Kate's face as she contemplates the invading question of how much the two of them might have meant to each other. As the week leading up to their anniversary celebration passes, Geoff takes up smoking again, and begins behaving in peculiar ways. When Kate discovers he has visited a travel agency, inquiring about a possible trip to Switzerland, she begins to question what their entire marriage has been about.

45 Years is adult cinema. Not the kind Rampling cut her teeth on, rather a drama for grownups who appreciate thoughtful films. It progresses slowly, as one treading upon the ice would be wise to do--leading to a delicious and devastating climax that will leave you...like Kate...with more questions than answers.

Grade:  B +

JILL'S TAKE

I've been far less forgiving than Tim about the movies we've seen lately. And I'm sorry to report that 45 Years won't change that trend, either. I realize that it takes cinematic time to create a long-term marriage, with all its daily routines and unspoken but understood communications. But slow moving can often produce a sleepy audience. (At least that's what this film did for me.)

Before 45 Years began, I was impressed with the opening credits. The click-clicking of a projector as each name came on screen. Later, when Charlotte Rampling's character watches an old movie, clicking from one image to another, witnessing something that will change her relationship with her husband forever, I was reminded of those opening credits. And was even more impressed.

There were moments—albeit fleeting ones—that smacked of originality and tour de force acting. But as I left the theater, I must admit I felt insanely grateful to be living alone. If any of you long for everlasting togetherness in the sunset years of your life, this film will cure you of that notion. It may not be as dark as, say, The Revenant. But in its own way, it's even darker. Although Ms. Rampling is up for an Oscar, I thought Tom Courteney's performance was even better. (And the dog did an outstanding job, too!)

Grade: C