THE PLATFORM (2019)

Rated: NR

STARS: Ivan Massague, Zorion Eguileor, Antonia San Juan
DIRECTOR: Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia
GENRE: Horror/ Science Fiction

It's "trickle down economics" taken to it's most literal extreme! The Platform, from Spanish director Galder-Gaztelu-Urrutia, is a crazy gross-out horror flick that wants to deliver a message about the haves and the have-nots, and how the haves are selfish and disdainful of those below them (in today's world the haves are the ones who got there early enough to scarf up all the toilet paper, and the rest of your asses be damned). But it's the same point Bernie Sanders has been making since day one in a much less cringeworthy fashion.   

Goreng (Ivan Massague) wakes up in this weird dystopian prison facility, and is informed by his older cellmate, Trimagasi (Zorion Eguileor) of how things work. There are over two hundred levels in this place, and the ones on the top level eat like kings, then a platform with their leftovers on it gets sent down this big elevator shaft to the lower levels. Depending on what level you're on, you may get to eat, or you may not get to eat. 

Trimagasi has it down pat. You eat like a pig for the few minutes the platform stops at your level, before it starts descending and making its next stops. Prisoners get shuffled around periodically to different levels, so those at the bottom are not always stuck there and vice-versa. Don't get too used to your good fortune, because it's only temporary.  Kinda like real life on any level. 

I have always found it disgusting watching people eat, and this guy shoveling it into his pie hole is the first gross-out moment. But when it turns cannibalistic, The Platform reaches a new level of depravity.

Others come along, men and women--they seem to just drop in on Goreng--and there's even a little "dirty" sex on the menu (between people who must not have showered for months or years). People get peed on. People get shat upon. There were many look-away moments for me.

Goreng maintains his humanity to some degree (for a cannibal), and laments that if everyone took only what they needed, there'd be enough to go around for all. 

The Platform is not for polite company. Unless you have a dark, dark, sense of humor and a strong stomach, you'll want to skip this barf-inducing bonanza.

Now playing on Netflix.

Grade:  D

JILL'S TAKE

'Barf-inducing bonanza.' I like it, Timoteo. (How 'bout 'an upchuck extravaganza' or 'puke-worthy cinema'?) All I can say about this weird, weird film is: I am very impressed. Not with The Platform but with the fact that my co-writer actually watched it all the way through! I did, too. (While I was trying to eat my dinner....)

Let me start with the good stuff. I thought the opening theme music was pretty darn spooky. (Buen trabajo, Senor Calleja!)

I wish I had more to say about this film. Nothing stirs my craving for vicarious violence more than a good prison drama. But once it's set in the future, I lose interest. And I found the premise a bit repetitive. I mean how much food, in various states of disgustingness, can you keep offering the viewer?

Sadly, the recent movies on Netflix leave a lot to be desired. Not so with the bingeworthy series such as "Ozark," "Rectify," "Unbelievable," "Hell On Wheels," "Frankie & Grace," to name a few.  But we can't exactly review episode-by-episode, can we. So far, we've been opining about unadulterated dreck. But just like real life right now, I'm hoping things'll get better soon!

Grade: F

FAHRENHEIT 11/9 (2018)

Rated:  R

STARS: Michael Moore, America
DIRECTOR: Michael Moore
GENRE: Documentary

You pretty much know what you're going to get with a Michael Moore film. Hard hitting, wickedly humorous satire that will bite you on the ass if you're the butt of it. That's what I was expecting in his new documentary, Fahrenheit 11/9 (not to be confused with his earlier film, Fahrenheit 9/11...11/9/17 being the date when it was confirmed that Donald Trump had been elected president). And as Moore states so directly at the beginning, this film attempts to answer the question: How in the f**k did we get here?

I think that's the only time I even grinned during this movie. Moore strikes a deliberately somber tone here, and there is dirge-like music that seems ever present in the background, so you'll make no mistake where he is coming from. Because his message is that time is running out. That would be the time we have left to save our democracy--or what passes for one here in the USA--before we slide down that slippery slope into fascism. 

You're expecting it to be a full-blown hit piece on Trump, which it starts out to be, and then the road takes a detour to Moore's hometown of Flint, Michigan and it becomes a hit piece on Governor Rick Snyder, whom Moore holds ultimately responsible for the polluted water crisis there.  He makes a compelling case, and it makes you wonder how this man stayed in office. 

The democrats don't go unscathed either, earning Moore's scorn primarily for how the Hillary Clinton forces rigged the nomination process in her favor. There is plenty of blame to go around for how and why we got to where we are today. 

Before he's done, Moore will hit on racism, gun violence, the loss of civil liberties, freedom of the press and more, while tying it all in with Trump again. But the juxtaposition of a Trump rally with a Hitler rally will add fuel to his critics who have branded and dismissed him as a radical.

 We revisit the enormous march on Washington that resulted from the Parkland high school shootings, and the ballsy kids who organized it and spoke so eloquently at the rally. It's a powerful thing to watch on the big screen, and it strikes the hopeful tone (there's always one near the end of a Michael Moore film) of people power in action. But this time it comes with a dire caveat: Time is running out.

Grade:  B + 

JILL'S TAKE

Let me start out by saying I'm apolitical to a fault. I'm also a big Michael Moore fan. I heard him speak once a few years back at a film festival in Sedona, AZ and love his acerbic wit. That being said, my biggest complaint with Fahrenheit 11/9 is its length. Come on, Michael... Two hours and eight minutes of dire warnings would make even the most rabid anti Trumpster squirm. I realize he had a lot of territory to cover. But audiences get weary after awhile....

Still, I must give this Michigan native high marks for his use of background music. My favorite bit (and this won't ruin the movie for you) was at the beginning. The music he chose for Hillary awaiting victory was uplifting, hip and high-spirited. Then, as Election Night progressed, we cut to Donald Trump somberly walking out on stage, accompanied by an equally somber family, to give his acceptance speech. What music did Michael choose for this moment? The famous aria from Leoncavallo's "Pagliacci." A brilliant move on his part!

But the movie is misleading. Even the poster with with a pudgy Trump hitting a golf ball and the subtitle "Tyrant, Liar, Racist, A Hole In One" makes you think it's going to be a hatchet job on our 45^th president. Far from it. Instead, it's a hatchet job on the state of our country. Not a message that lends itself to humor. And I sorely missed that aspect of Michael's personality.

I also felt the ending was weak. I won't go into detail (out of respect for those folks who want to react in their own way) but for me it ended with a whimper rather than a bang.

Grade: B -

WHERE TO INVADE NEXT (2016)

Rated: R

STARS: Michael Moore
DIRECTOR:Michael Moore
GENRE: Documentary

I'll admit up front to being a Michael Moore fan. There is no one who is more adept at holding the mirror up to our (America's) face and making us peer directly into it without our makeup on. In his alternatingly humorous, eye- opening, and poignant documentary, Where To Invade Next, Moore "invades" Europe to find solutions to America's problems. And while he's working with a lighter hand here, his insights are no less profound than those imparted in his previous films. 

What he finds:

In France, schoolkids get nutritional food--like what you'd order off the menu at a classy restaurant--and plenty of it.

Students in Slovenia get a free college education.

In Finland, school children are not burdened with homework after school, because kids need time to be kids.

Drug possession in Portugal is not illegal.

In Norway, where the  emphasis is on rehabilitation instead of retribution and punishment, prison inmates live in decently appointed apartments, and can ride bicycles around the grounds.

In Iceland, women play a prominent role in the government.

IN SHORT, NOT MUCH THAT BERNIE SANDERS HASN'T ALREADY TOUCHED UPON!

My favorite segment is where Moore interviews an affable Italian couple (Why do Italians always look like they've just had sex? he quips) who receive seven weeks paid vacation from their jobs annually, and a laundry list of other perks that make American companies look like slave drivers.

Speaking of which, Michael Moore accurately reminds us that America was built upon slavery and genocide. But after all that, he still manages to end on an uplifting note, pointing out that many of the innovative concepts being utilized by other countries originated in the good ol' U.S.A. All we need to do is get back to that kind of logical and compassionate clear thinking. 

I'm ready for some of that. Aren't you? 

Grade:  A

JILL'S TAKE

You won't get any argument from me on this one, Tim. I even clapped—like the rest of the audience—when the film ended. I am also a Michael Moore fan (with the exception of Bowling For Columbine where I felt he took advantage of Charleton Heston's Alzheimer's; and Sicko where he painted the Canadian health care system rather unrealistically). This one, however, has zero flaws.

What can I cover that Tim hasn't already? The editing. It was simply brilliant. Snippets of past US presidents making big promises....cutting from the 'invaded country' back to our dysfunctional one....musical riffs that added even more irony to the points Moore was trying to make. I'm apolitical but very much into the entertainment factor of this year's Republican debates. I wonder how Ted Cruz would react to Where To Invade Next. (We already know where Ted wants to carpet bomb....)

For once, I didn't want Michael—dressed like a schlub when meeting Borut Pahor, President of The Republic of Slovenia—to stop invading places. I learned more about the rest of the world in this 1 hour and 59 minute film than I did in any history class I was forced to endure in high school. I heard Michael Moore speak at a Sedona film festival a few years back and, honestly, if he wasn't such a fantastic film maker, I would have said he'd make a terrific stand-up comic. His humor is right up there with the best of them.

Grade: A+