SERIOUS MOONLIGHT (R) (now playing at home where you'll never look at sitting on the can quite the same again)

STARS: Meg Ryan, Timothy Hutton, Kristen Bell

DIRECTOR: Cheryl Hines

How far would you go to convince your spouse of a truth he just couldn't see? In Serious Moonlight, Louise (Meg Ryan) is a Manhattan lawyer married 13 years to Ian, (Timothy Hutton) who just happens to be planning to abscond to Paris with his young mistress, Sara (Kristen Bell).

Louise shows up unexpectedly at their country house as Ian is composing his "Dear John" letter to her, and he reluctantly comes clean about his intentions. Convinced that her husband is temporarily blinded by infatuation, and not ready to shoot thirteen years down the sewer just like that, Louise cold-cocks him with a potted plant as he is walking out the door. While he is knocked out, Ian becomes all wrapped up in himself because his wife has duct taped him hand and foot. Learning that she intends to keep him immobilized until he comes to his senses and professes his love for her again, he requests that she at least set him on the toilet, which, like the good wife, she does--with his pants down. (I'm tempted to call this "potty humor," but that would be a crappy pun.)

Ian tries to cajole, sweet talk, and curse and yell his way out of his predicament--all to no avail. Louise--maniacally convinced of her version of reality-- bakes him cookies, reminisces, and even runs a slide show of old times as she argues her case. Will it work?

When Louise splits the scene for a short while, an opportunistic young burglar (Justin Long) shows up. Things turn a little mean (as befitting a dark comedy) when the burglar roughs the helpless husband up a bit, and even imparts some some scathing advice on relationships.

Both Louise and Sara--who has dropped by because she hasn't heard from Ian--will ironically end up in the same sticky duct tape predicament, courtesy of Todd the burglar. (Louise gets felt up a couple of times by the ill-mannered intruder--some cheap thrills for Meg Ryan fantasizers.) Todd trashes the place with his friends and then takes off, leaving the threesome to try to maneuver themselves free, and Ian to sort out his feelings for each of the women.

Meg Ryan--always a fine comic actress--is impishly and wickedly funny in this one. Kristen Bell, a good character actress, but not poised to be a leading lady--just yet (see my review of When In Rome) is fittingly cast as the "other bimbo." Timothy Hutton shows amazing forbearance, because he was lashed to that crapper and immobilized for up to twelve hours at a time during filming.

Serious Moonlight raises some intriguing philosophical questions about how far one should go to try to "save" another person from themselves. Penned by the late Adrienne Shelly, it has the intimate feel of a stage play. It's one of those rare little gems you don't expect to find, but end up grinning from ear to ear when you do. And Serious Moonlight has one of the coolest surprise endings ever!

P.S. More so than any other recent review I've written, people from all over the world have have been checking out this one, and they've been curious about one thing: THE ENDING!

While I can't overtly reveal what the ending of Serious Moonlight means-- for the sake of those who haven't yet seen it--the answer to your question, for those who have seen it, is...YES!

GRADE : B+

WHEN IN ROME (PG-13)

STARS: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel

DIRECTOR: Mark Steven Johnson

Ah, the ambience of Rome. The fountains, the statues, the ruins, the pigeons, the pigeon poop...WAIT A MINUTE! Why does a movie called When In Rome take place primarily in New York City? In fact, the actual scenes of Rome are few and far between--just like the laughs in this dreadful, made for nothing but profit disappointment.

Geez, I really need to start being more selective.

Kristen Bell is Beth, curator at the Guggenheim museum in New York. She travels to Italy to attend her sister's wedding. Sis is getting hitched to this Italian guy she's known all of two weeks. (Those Mediterranean dudes ARE persuasive!) Still reeling from a failed relationship, Beth gets drunk and totters into the Fountain of Love, where she lifts five coins that were tossed there by hopeless romantics looking for amore. But legend has it that if you take someone's coin, that person will fall head over heels for you.

Thus begins an odyssey where these four weirdos, who've become magically smitten, stalk Beth back to New York. What transpires there is supposed to be funny, bit it's not. The fifth coin apparently belongs to sportswriter Nick, (Josh Duhamel) best man at the wedding, where he and Beth have a mild flirtation. But then, Beth sees him with this Italian babe...

Cut to the chase. Will Nick and Beth get on the same page long enough to end up in connubial bliss? Or will the four weirdos who are pursuing her around New York (Danny DeVito-- as a sausage magnate--is one of them) become such a distraction that our romantic leads fall short of the runway? (Or in this case, the bed.)

In my opinion, neither Kristen Bell nor Josh Duhamel have the charisma to carry a film--even one that falls flat on its face in the middle of a fountain where naked cherubs are piddling on it. Watching When In Rome has made me so disgusted about what some people are willing to do just to make a profit, I'm vowing not to watch another formulaic romantic comedy this year... unless, of course, Zooey Deschanel is in it.

GRADE : F

FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (now playing at home where your spouse is screaming at you--pretend you can't hear.)

Struggling musician Peter, (Jason Segel) who's writing a Dracula musical for puppets, gets dumped by his TV star girlfriend, Sarah (Kristen Bell) as he stands there naked and just out of the shower (unfortunate because, in my experience, if at least one of you is naked, things are usually going pretty well) in this raunchy comedy that will have you--if not laughing--at least smirking most of the way through.

Trying to get Sarah off his mind, Peter beds down with a bevy of acceptably attractive substitutes, but to no avail. He follows Sarah and her new rock star beau, Aldous Snow (played by Russell Brand as an over-the-top parody of your typical chemically addled prima donna rocker) to Hawaii. Peter drinks, follows Sarah around, and feels crappy until he hooks up with the exotic looking Rachel (Mila Kunas) the one woman who has the potential to turn him around.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the kind of flick where the actors and crew must have been breaking up and laughing their asses off after each take, and the gag reel that's one of the extras on the DVD is at least as much fun as the film itself. The laughs here aren't the gross-out kind of belly laughs, as in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle-- they're actually a bit more subtle and, dare we say, on a higher intelluctual plane. Still, there are plenty of F-bombs being tossed around, and there's some full frontal nudity...but it's MALE nudity, so out of disappointment I naturally had to deduct a few points for that.

GRADE: B-