THE PLATFORM (2019)

Rated: NR

STARS: Ivan Massague, Zorion Eguileor, Antonia San Juan
DIRECTOR: Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia
GENRE: Horror/ Science Fiction

It's "trickle down economics" taken to it's most literal extreme! The Platform, from Spanish director Galder-Gaztelu-Urrutia, is a crazy gross-out horror flick that wants to deliver a message about the haves and the have-nots, and how the haves are selfish and disdainful of those below them (in today's world the haves are the ones who got there early enough to scarf up all the toilet paper, and the rest of your asses be damned). But it's the same point Bernie Sanders has been making since day one in a much less cringeworthy fashion.   

Goreng (Ivan Massague) wakes up in this weird dystopian prison facility, and is informed by his older cellmate, Trimagasi (Zorion Eguileor) of how things work. There are over two hundred levels in this place, and the ones on the top level eat like kings, then a platform with their leftovers on it gets sent down this big elevator shaft to the lower levels. Depending on what level you're on, you may get to eat, or you may not get to eat. 

Trimagasi has it down pat. You eat like a pig for the few minutes the platform stops at your level, before it starts descending and making its next stops. Prisoners get shuffled around periodically to different levels, so those at the bottom are not always stuck there and vice-versa. Don't get too used to your good fortune, because it's only temporary.  Kinda like real life on any level. 

I have always found it disgusting watching people eat, and this guy shoveling it into his pie hole is the first gross-out moment. But when it turns cannibalistic, The Platform reaches a new level of depravity.

Others come along, men and women--they seem to just drop in on Goreng--and there's even a little "dirty" sex on the menu (between people who must not have showered for months or years). People get peed on. People get shat upon. There were many look-away moments for me.

Goreng maintains his humanity to some degree (for a cannibal), and laments that if everyone took only what they needed, there'd be enough to go around for all. 

The Platform is not for polite company. Unless you have a dark, dark, sense of humor and a strong stomach, you'll want to skip this barf-inducing bonanza.

Now playing on Netflix.

Grade:  D

JILL'S TAKE

'Barf-inducing bonanza.' I like it, Timoteo. (How 'bout 'an upchuck extravaganza' or 'puke-worthy cinema'?) All I can say about this weird, weird film is: I am very impressed. Not with The Platform but with the fact that my co-writer actually watched it all the way through! I did, too. (While I was trying to eat my dinner....)

Let me start with the good stuff. I thought the opening theme music was pretty darn spooky. (Buen trabajo, Senor Calleja!)

I wish I had more to say about this film. Nothing stirs my craving for vicarious violence more than a good prison drama. But once it's set in the future, I lose interest. And I found the premise a bit repetitive. I mean how much food, in various states of disgustingness, can you keep offering the viewer?

Sadly, the recent movies on Netflix leave a lot to be desired. Not so with the bingeworthy series such as "Ozark," "Rectify," "Unbelievable," "Hell On Wheels," "Frankie & Grace," to name a few.  But we can't exactly review episode-by-episode, can we. So far, we've been opining about unadulterated dreck. But just like real life right now, I'm hoping things'll get better soon!

Grade: F

BEAST (2018)

Rated:  R

STARS: Jessie Buckley, Johnny Flynn
DIRECTOR: Michael Pearce
GENRE: Mystery/Romance/Horror

It's in there. That beast. In all of us, I suppose, and could rear its fangs at any moment given the right set of circumstances--or in this case the right person--to bring it to the fore. And as I write this I'm idly channel surfing and happen to land on the cheesy looking monster from An American Werewolf In London wreaking havoc on the rent-a-crowd of movie extras running screaming through the streets. 

What we're dealing with in Beast is a subtler kind of demon that inhabits the bodies of Moll (Jessie Buckley), a 27 year-old living at home with her family--a timid girl by outward appearances--and her boyfriend Pascal (Johnny Flynn), a hunter and illegal poacher of small animals who, with his haunted eyes, looks the part from the get-go. 

Teenage girls are being murdered on their English Channel island of Jersey, and Pascal becomes a suspect. Maybe it's because serial killers often start with animals. Or that he just seems strange and walks around looking menacing with a rifle for half the movie. But as Beast incrementally reveals more of who Moll is, we start to suspect that yeah, she just might have that in her too. (There was that attack with a pair of scissors on one of her young peers that she claims was in self defense.) They are kindred spirits, these two, and a passionate romance between deeply screwed up people is always fascinating to watch. Moll is like a Hawaiian volcano always on the verge of erupting, and in fact she does literally blow chunks in one of the film's did-we-really-need-to-see-that moments. That and a scene of animal cruelty that is gratuitously graphic might make you question first time writer/director Michael Pierce's judgement. 

But the reason to see Beast lies with Jessie Buckley. This is her movie, and she has the acting chops to bring off this controlled burn performance in a way that foreshadows some blazing fireworks at the end. And if that's your thing, you're in for the full 4th Of July treatment.

Grade:  B

JILL'S TAKE

A couple of reviews ago, I remember writing that I didn't like unclear endings, that too much thinking gave me hives. (Disobedience)  Well this who-done-it left me, my movie buddy and the man walking in front of us, as we left the theater, in disagreement about who the killer was.  But really, that isn't the point of Beast. Tim summed it up beautifully when he wrote 'a passionate romance between deeply screwed-up people.'  For anyone who thinks they're in a dysfunctional relationship, this movie will make you feel much better!

The actress who plays the female lead is breathtakingly good.  I looked her up on IMDb and got a kick out of her journey to cinematic stardom. And I quote:  "Jessie Buckley is an Irish singer and actress, who came in second place in the BBC talent show-themed television series "I'd Do Anything."  It kind of reminded me of Jennifer Hudson's success after coming in seventh in ABC's "American Idol."  She went on to win a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her stunning performance in Dreamgirls. (2007) I'd love the same fate to befall Jessie Buckley. 

But Beast isn't a flick for the faint of heart. Lots of violence, lots of tension. And a mother that would drive any sensitive young girl to the brink of madness. Or at least into the arms of an equally unstable boyfriend.  For all their scenes of sensuality, nobody took off any clothes. This irked my male companion.  And I must admit he  has point.  After all, nothing else seemed off limits to this demented duo.  Why such modesty in the sack?

I'm torn about grading Beast.  It was an unsettling film and there were a few slow moments where my eyelids got heavy. I still don't know who the killer was.  But the weirdness of the story, the haunting cinematography, the originality of the script deserve high marks.

Grade: B-

WHITE GOD (2015)

Rated:  R
STARS: Zsofia Psotta, Sandor Zsoter, and a Potpourri of Pooches
DIRECTOR: Kornel Mundruczo
GENRE: Art House/Drama/International 

Every dog has its day. But none more satisfyingly than in this quirky little Hungarian film--and I'm tempted to attribute its weirdness to just that--about canines taking over the city and getting revenge on everyone who had been mean to them. I like the premise, but...

There's a lot of really unwatchable stuff near the beginning taking place in a slaughterhouse/ meat packing plant--guts and innards spilling all over the place. Really gross--so only go if you've got a strong stomach. 

A young girl, Lili, takes her mixed-breed dog, Hagen, to stay with her divorced dad for a while, only the dad is a real A-hole and hates the dog. She takes Hagen to band practice  with her and her music teacher is another A-hole and hates the dog too. In fact all the adults in this movie hate animals. Hagen falls into the hands of some maniacally obsessed dog catchers, and then ends up in a dog fighting ring, and is exploited and abused until finally escaping and taking scores of other mutts with him as they rampage through the city on a dogged mission to settle the score with everyone who abused them. Lili is on her own quest to find and reunite with Hagen, who has now become the Fidel Castro of the canine world, leading his charges through the streets in what is the true genius and creative fascination of the film--the work of the animal trainers who pulled off some quite remarkable scenes.

White God (no explanation for the  title, other than God being dog spelled backwards) is a fantasy, horror flick, and morality melodrama rolled into one. The adult characters are all on a par with the Wicked Witch Of The West in their  mean-spiritedness, exaggerated  to the point of where you'd nearly expect a chorus of boos and hisses to come raining down in the theater, but they serve as a metaphor for the oppressors of the world getting their comeuppance from the downtrodden masses--exploited and treated like dogs until they rise up and revolt.   

Grade:  B  

JILL'S TAKE

Tim and I saw White God almost two weeks ago. When we left the theater, he mumbled something about not being sure he'd actually review it. I was secretly relieved as I didn't know what the heck I'd say about this really strange movie. In spite of it's ridiculous premise and one-dimensional script, I found myself rooting for Hagen and his four-legged minions. I also felt ashamed of the cruelties perpetrated on man's best friend by man. Still, as the end credits rolled and reality once again entered my consciousness, I turned to Tim and sighed, "What a waste of time that was!"

I especially balked at the premise that all mongrel dogs (here comes the metaphor!) were automatically seized and impounded. Like the Jews in Germany, the Christians in Iraq, etc. But it certainly gave you a dog's eye view of the world. Cars whizzing past; loud, unfamiliar noises; food as bait. And Hagen, whose real name is Luke—owned by the Arpád Halász' the head dog trainer—was amazingly believable.

Still... My advice? Go see Disney's 1955 animated classic Lady and the Tramp instead.

Grade: D