NEW YEAR'S EVE (2011)

Rated PG-13

Stars: Too numerous to mention (see below)

Director: Garry Marshall

Genre: Comedy/Romance

Check out these names: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hillary Swank,

Jon Bon Jovi, Jessica Biel, Abigail Breslin, Josh Duhamel, Halle Berry, Hector Elizondo, Katherine Heigle, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Zac Efron, Alyssa Milano, Carla Gugino, Jim Belushi, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ryan Seacrest, Sienna Miller...OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH, DAMMIT...because there are even MORE recognizable celebs in New Year's Eve--a film I had high hopes for, because dat be my favorite party time of the year!

Somehow, director Garry Marshall juggles this huge ensemble cast and its myriad intersecting story lines--mostly involving romantic foibles and folly--trying to connect, reconnect, or make amends for past misdeeds, as everybody gets kinda wistful on New Year's Eve (easy to do when you're falling down drunk!) It's a given what New Year's Eve is building toward--midnight on the last day of the year--when, for example, Katherine Heigle and Jon Bon Jovi's characters, who are ex-lovers, will make or break their chance at reconciliation. The kind of stuff that may pull at your heartstrings in a sappy, manipulative kind of way.

But too many characters = too much fragmentation = not enough character development. Wouldn't have mattered much anyway, because these are TV sitcom characters in a movie with TV sitcom laughs...meaning the funny parts are mostly lame, tame, and not really funny.

We've all seen the star-vehicle movies that were designed just to showcase the big name, and not much else (every ELVIS movie, for example). Same thing here, but with more stars and plotlines than you can shake a bottle of bubbly at, or care about keeping track of.

See, you'd think--or hope--that getting stuck in an elevator with hottie Lea Michele might produce more possibilities than having her blast a song in your ear at close quarters, (as she shouted out with Glee) but no--New Year's Eve is that vehicle for stars who sing to sing, and for stars who emcee television shows to emcee, and for stars who've become typecast for being in bad romantic comedies (Katherine, you're better than this) to be in another bad romantic comedy.

A fun thing you can do with New Year's Eve, though, is to try to spot all the celebs who are listed in the credits--like Penny Marshall. Where the hell was she? I didn't see her. Another one I missed was basketball star Amare Stoudemire, who is listed in the credits as a "party dancer."

Weird.

Grade: C

17 AGAIN

The "I woke up and suddenly I was a different version of me" scenario has been done--probably best in Big with Tom Hanks--but after the magical transformation in that film , everything that proceeded from there was pretty much reality based. In 17 Again, Mike O'Donnell (Zac Efron) is a high school basketball standout who gives up a promising sports career to be with his pregnant girlfriend and raise a family. Fast forward twenty years and the adult Mike (Matthew Perry) is on the outs with wife Scarlett, (Leslie Mann) and his communication with his now high school aged son and daughter leaves a lot to be desired.

Mike's "spirit guide" (a crusty janitor at his old high school) sees that Mike longs to change his circumstances and propels him back into his 17 year old body. Mike appears at the house of his old geeky/trekkie friend Ned (Thomas Lennon) who doesn't recognize him in his teenage body (even though Mike looks the same as he did when he really WAS 17) and immediately tries to KILL the young Mike. Most people would call 911 if they encountered an intruder, but Ned swings battle axe and assorted weaponry/memorabilia he has around the house in a wild drawn-out scene in which Mike is fighting for his life while trying to convice Ned of his true identity. This is where you say to yourself: This is totally cartoonish--and you feel a little disappointed (if you LIKE to have things portrayed in a reality based manner) and must then decide to just go along for the ride and laugh and enjoy whatever else follows. And what follows ARE a lot of laughs. (The teenage girls in the theatre were giggling and snickering and spitting up their soft drinks all the way through.)

Once Ned is convinced of Mike's identity, he decides to act as his old/young friend's father and enroll him back into school. Ned is smitten by the high school principal, Jane Masterson, (Melora Hardin) and that's the beginning of a cute subplot where Ned stalks Jane until she consents to go out with him. They eventually discover that they are both fantasy nerds and made for each other.

Meanwhile, the young Mike gets back on the basketball squad and discovers that the school bully, Stan, (Hunter Parrish) who also happens to be Mike's daughter's boyfriend, has been picking on his son. (You'd think that bully Stan would steer clear of terrorizing his girlfriend's brother just to stay in her good graces, but that's too much reality-based logic for this film.) Mike feels compelled to defend his son and discourage the relationship between his daughter and Stan, which adds to the comedic fun of this movie because nobody knows why he should care. There's more fun when teenage Mike (who has been renamed "Mark" by the way) interacts with the adult Mike's wife, Scarlett, who possesses enough visual acuity to pinch his cheeks and tell him how much he reminds her of her husband--who she is divorcing. Then, when his daughter develops a crush on him and wants to get cuddly, Mike does a squirming act that Houdini himself would be proud of! The young Mike's challenge is to get his kids back on track and somehow turn his wife's head around to where she'll change her mind about the breakup.

17 Again is a romp--just don't try to make much logical sense out of it.

GRADE: B