ALOHA (2015)

Rated:  PG-13

STARS: Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, John Krasinski, Bill Murray, Alec Baldwin
DIRECTOR: Cameron Crowe
GENRE: Romantic Comedy


If I had to sum up Aloha in one sentence, it would be: Impressive cast does what it can with what it had to work with.

Brian Gilcrest (the bankable Bradley Cooper) is an ex-military private defense contractor with a checkered past, coming home to Hawaii to help facilitate, in conjunction with the Air Force, the launching of a satellite--the pet project of billionaire Carson Welch (Bill Murray). While there, he steps into a romantic triangle involving his now married former girlfriend (Rachel McAdams) and the young Air Force assistant assigned to him (Emma Stone). In one scene, he is standing right between the two of them, and you can almost hear the refrain from that old song, "Three Coins In The Fountain" (which one will the fountain bless?) There is nothing terribly subtle about this movie.

There are a couple of nice scenes, though, and an appealing soundtrack. One where Emma Stone's character, Allison, is dancing with Bill Murray. I've always liked Bill Murray, so whatever he does, I'm grinning or smirking.  Even if it's contrived and too cutesy-poo to be believable. The other scene is the teary-eyed feelgood ending, which is worth the price of admission. Along the way we find out what Carson Welch's real reason is for wanting that bird up there, briefly touching on the what ifs of the militarization of space (currently there are treaties in place among the major powers to prevent that stuff from happening, but here it looks just too plausible for someone with deep pockets and an agenda to take matters into his own hands).

Aloha is getting panned by the critics, saying it's not up to director Cameron Crowe's other work (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous), but you can't judge a rom-com by the standards of a serious drama. That's apples and oranges.  So we're grading on the curve. The question is, does Aloha fulfill the basic tenets of romantic comedy? Well yes it does. It follows the standard rom-com format of  boy gets girl--boy loses girl--boy gets girl back again. And when there is a  romantic triangle, it takes you to the last possible minute to delay which way things are going to go, to keep ya guessin' and on the edge of your seat. I, of course, had it figured out early on.... but then I'm a trained professional... DO NOT ATTEMPT ON YOUR OWN!!!

Aloha fits the definition of a "guilty pleasure."  You can see the marionette master's hands pulling the strings, pushing your buttons and manipulating your emotions,  but you are powerless to stop him...you old softy!

Grade:  B -

JILL'S TAKE

I've been taught that guilt—whether you're giving it or getting it—is unhealthy. But when it comes it "guilty pleasures," count me in! As I watched Aloha, I knew I was being manipulated, rooting for the right girl to get the wrong guy. (Who will transform into the right guy under her tutelage!) Sure, Alec Baldwin played Alec Baldwin. And John Krasinski played a monosyllabic husband that, in real life, no wife—military or otherwise—would tolerate. But romance is romance. And I'm as helpless as the next gal when it comes to staring into Bradley Cooper's blue, blue eyes. (Are they contacts, I wonder?)

I also loved the Hawaiian touches. The folklore and magic they played up. The music, the magnificent scenery. Hell, I even bought into the idea that blonde, Nordic-looking Emma Stone was part native. But then I watch ABC's "The Bachelorette" so I can't be trusted when it comes to liking syrupy schmaltz. Yes, I'm ashamed that I enjoyed Aloha as much as I did. But I never said I was Albert Einstein. (Or even Pauline Kael!)

Grade: B+

THE DESCENDANTS (2011)

Rated: R

Stars: George Clooney, Shallene Woodley, Amara Miller, Nick Krause, Beau Bridges, Judy Greer, Matthew Lillard

Director: Alexander Payne

Genre: Drama/Comedy

There's a scene in The Descendants that pays homage (perhaps subconsciously) to Last Tango In Paris. It's where Honolulu attorney Matt King (George Clooney) is at the hospital bedside of his wife, Elizabeth--who lies in an irreversible coma as the result of a boating accident--giving her an earful of his pent-up emotions about everything from her infidelity, to leaving him in the lurch to raise their two problematic daughters by himself. I immediately flashed back to Brando's poignant, profanity-laced barrage unleashed upon the corpse of his cheating spouse, Rosa, in that classic film.

Anyway, it's quite tempting to 'ave a go at the old bird when she can't bite you back, apparently, which is just what Elizabeth's intractable teenage daughter, Alexandra, (Shallene Woodley) does as well. Even the wife of the guy she was screwing around with gets her licks in.

Yes... it's a drama. Yes... it's a comedy. And that's called a "dramedy" where I hail from, Mister. But one with a subtle touch, like the mixture of humor and pathos in everyday life.

Speaking of subtlety, that would be Clooney's performance for about the first half of the film. UNDERSTATED, I believe is the word. I wasn't sure if Matt King was supposed to be a guy who was just out of touch with his feelings, or if Clooney was mailing it in. Fortunately, our faith in George's acting ability is restored when the plot elements in The Descendants require him to get pissed off at friends who've been holding back the truth about his wife's shenanigans--then, with his young charges in tow, island hops over to Kauai to confront the erstwhile home wrecker, real-estate agent Brian Speer (Matthew Lillard). Ostensibly, Matt just want to inform Speer about his wife's dire predicament, but we know that he wants to get in the guy's face some too.

Speer ties into the subplot, as he stands to make a killing from the sale of 25,000 acres of pristine beach front property, previously handed down to King and his clan, of which Matt happens to be the sole trustee. A tangled web we weave.

All of it leads to Matt's eventual epiphany, about taking a stand in the face of overwhelming opposition. When it's all said and done, life goes on-- and The Descendants, gingerly groping its way along the darkened hallways of life, reminds us of that better than most.

Evaluations:

Beau Bridges shines as Matt's cousin, Hugh.

Patricia Hastie, as the comatose Elizabeth, gives a stiff performance.

Grade: B

A PERFECT GETAWAY -- Rated R

STARS: Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich

DIRECTOR: David Twohy

In the great WTF? tradition of The Sixth Sense and Passengers, comes A Perfect Getaway-- a movie that is conning you most of the way through, until you get to where...GOTCHA dumb-ass, nothing is what you think it is! And even though I saw the main plot twist coming a LITTLE ways before it was revealed, I still couldn't help flogging myself with a cat o' nine tails, sobbing, "If only you'd paid more attention in the first few minutes, Sluggo! Anyhoo, I'll bet YOU don't pick up on those SUBTLE clues at the beginning either--and that's what screenwriter/director David Twohy is banking on.

Cliff and Cydney (Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich) are newlyweds honeymooning in Hawaii--hiking to a secluded beach in Kauai to camp overnight. Word reaches them that another couple has been murdered on a different island, and the authorities are looking for a man and a woman as the primary suspects. It's paranoia time when Cliff and Cydney run into a spooky couple trying to hitch a ride--and again when they hook up with Nick, (Timothy Olyphant) an Iraq war vet with a big sheathed knife, and his nude sunbathing girlfriend Gina, (Kiele Sanchez) who used to be a butcher.

Ostensibly, everyone is suspecting everyone, and the suspense builds...until the aforementioned BIG PLOT TWIST. Then, A Perfect Getaway kicks into edge-of-your-seat, action/thriller mode until its conclusion--and enjoyably so I might add. But when it came to evaluating motives, I was left asking WHY? Was I not paying enough attention, or was it that Twohy's script wanted to keep things a little murky? That's where having the DVD is to your advantage-you can view the film again with a more careful eye. (I haven't yet done so--I've had important stuff to do--like SCRATCHING MYSELF and SLEEPING.)

And you might have guessed that A Perfect Getaway, like many of the flicks I see, triggered one of my pet peeves. It's the one about why do the movies and TV sitcoms often team a hot looking woman with a dorky looking guy? (In this case it's Zahn and Jovovich.) As if that's the way it could be in real life, unless the dude is using C-notes to light his cigars. TVs prime example of this is King Of Queens, where super-babe Leah Remini is paired with big meatball Kevin James. In your DREAMS! I think the meatball screenwriters and directors are just indulging their own fantasies.

Another advantage of the DVD is it lets you choose between the theatrical version and the director's cut--which contains added stuff not included in the original version. Opt for the director's cut, unless you want to see LESS of Mila Jovovich and Kiele Sanchez.

GRADE : B