RETRO: 2002-- THE QUIET AMERICAN (R)

Stars: Michael Caine, Brendan Fraser, Do Thi Hai Yen

Director: Philip Noyce

Continuing my search for sweeping, romantic, political thrillers in the vein of Beyond Rangoon and The Year of Living Dangerously, (see January, 2010 review) I've hit upon The Quiet American--from the Graham Greene novel ( a remake of the 1958 film). Michael Caine (in a role that garnered him an Oscar nomination for Best Actor) is Thomas Fowler--a foreign correspondent for the London Times--residing in Saigon in 1952 during The French-Indochina war. (Remember the French...the ones America COULD have learned from in Vietnam, but didn't?)

The middle-aged Fowler, whose wife is back home, lives with an exotic young mistress named Phuong ( Do Thi Hai Yen). When American economic aid worker Alden Pyle (Brendan Fraser) arrives upon the scene, he is immediately smitten by Phuong, and doesn't hide it from Fowler, whom he has befriended. Ah, yes...a guy moving in on another man's girl. Without digressing too much: Guys are notorious for such behavior, and they have no shame or qualms about horning in on a friend's territory. (Yes, I've done it--and have had it done to me.) When a dude goes "GA- GA" for some woman, (not LADY Ga Ga) all bets are off. He becomes a cross-eyed, tongue lolling out of his head mutt, disregarding all previous loyalties or considerations.

Fowler (and this is where Caine shines) reacts primarily to Pyle's intrusion with sarcasm rather than belligerence--it fits in with his detachment from the political turmoil that rages around them--with the Communists, the French, and now the CIA beginning its meddling. Pyle has youth and bachelorhood on his side, and he lures Phuong away. But the unassuming Pyle isn't what he's so conscientiously made himself out to be, and that spells danger for him when the truth is revealed following a deadly bombing in Saigon.

There are catalysts in all of our lives--a pivotal point that everything hinges upon, and we are forced to make a momentous decision. We see the transformation in Fowler when he says: "Sooner or later one has to take sides if one is to remain human."

The Quiet American--a love triangle, a murder mystery, and a war epic rolled into one--excels in many ways. From the bewitching sound track by Craig Armstrong, to deftly capturing the feel of time and place. The Quiet American will draw you into another world--and that's what the best movies do. And I wasn't surprised to see the brilliant Sydney Pollack's stamp (as Executive Producer) on this one. I don't go looking for films that Pollack has had a hand in...they always seem to find me.

RETRO GRADE: A

Now playing at home: THE INVENTION OF LYING (PG-13)

Stars: Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Louis C. K.

Director: Ricky Gervais

Jennifer Garner looks more like a man than Hilary Swank does. That's a snarky remark, but it's the truth. Imagine a world where lying doesn't exist, and everyone just blurts out--uncensored--whatever is in their head at the moment. As you might expect, this makes for some hilarious dialogue throughout The Invention of Lying--a romantic comedy co-written, and directed by Ricky Gervais (creator of the original BBC series, The Office.)

On the one hand, everyone knows exactly where he or she stands with everyone else. On the other, everyone is incredibly gullible and naive, believing whatever anyone else tells them.

But when the computers are down at the bank, perennial loser Mark Bellison (Ricky Gervais) stumbles upon the ability to tell an untruth. As a result, he walks out of there with a goodly amount more than what he actually has in his account. Mark uses his newfound ability to hoodwink people (it's so easy) to create a life of fame and fortune for himself. But will he be able to win over Anna, (Jennifer Garner) the woman he's fallen for--even though she tells him he's chubby, snub nosed, and not in her league?

In a fascinating subplot, Mark tells his mother on her deathbed some stuff about "The Man In The Sky," and the wonderful place she'll be going when she crosses over, just to ease her fears. But it gets picked up by the media, and he soon becomes the world's most revered guru, with everyone believing he speaks to--and relays messages from--The Man In The Sky. It's a gentle poke at some organized religions, (and their spokespersons) whose followers by and large accept whatever dogma is fed to them.

Despite all the pointed remarks that are flying this way and that, The Invention of Lying is an ultimately sweet movie with a heart, and a conscience--augmented by a sound track from Tim Atack that is so lilting it feels like it could have been lifted right out of Ozzie and Harriet.

The Invention of Lying will cause you to re-examine the way we live in a world where everything--whether it be to keep from hurting someone, or to manipulate and take advantage--is based upon shading, or totally blotting out the truth. And despite her rather masculine looking facial features, Jennifer Garner is an attractive woman and a fairly decent actress. No lie.

GRADE: A

TIMOTEO SEZ...

On the Oscar presentations:

George Clooney looked like the most humorless man in America Sunday night in an Academy Awards show that had an overall lackluster and dispirited feel to it. The camera repeatedly focused on Clooney sitting in the audience, as co-host Alec Baldwin mocked the actor's sourpuss expression. Baldwin seemed to be goofing on Clooney's film, The Men Who Stare At Goats, but Clooney appeared to be seriously pissed. George could have easily diffused the awkwardness if he'd given just one smile or made a silly face, but he preferred to look like a jerk. Hey George, could knowing that Jeff Bridges was going to win the Oscar be THAT much of a downer for someone who otherwise has everything?

Then there was the perennial lowlight of the broadcast, (for me) and that's when the actors are being interviewed beforehand and are asked, 'WHO are you wearing?" The women (and some of the men) rattle off some French or Italian designer's name that most viewers don't know from Pepe le Pew! Great way to connect with the average Joe and all those people out there who don't even have a JOB!

"Uh, WHO are you wearing, DAHLING?"

"Oh, I'm wearing TIGER WOODS...doesn't he look MAHVELOUS draped all over me?"

The highlight of the show, of course, was Jeff Bridges' joyous acceptance speech for his well deserved Best Actor Oscar.

WHITEOUT (R) (Now playing at home where you won't gross-out the other theater patrons by letting a big one rip)

Stars: Kate Beckinsale, Tom Skerrit, Gabriel Macht, Alex O'Loughlin, Columbus Short

Director: Dominic Sena

In 1957, a Russian cargo plane crashes near the south pole because the crazy dudes on board, fueled by booze and ulterior motives, start shooting at each other. How dumb is that? That's the FIRST thing in Whiteout that stretches the bounds of believability like Kirstie Alley trying to squeeze into a size 2 spandex body suit.

Anyway, this sets the table for the current day investigation of the first murder in Antarctica, a task which falls upon the shoulders of U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko, who is based at a south pole scientific research station. Stetko is played by Kate Beckinsale, and that's the second (and most glaring) thing in Whiteout that sticks out like a sore bum. Realistically, U.S. marshals are not going to be as young, alluring, and wispy as Ms. Beckinsale. They'd be more like the grizzled Mary Steenburgen--who plays a deputy marshal in Did You Hear About The Morgans? But I suppose Steenburgen wasn't available for this role because she was off playing that other lawperson--and besides, it would have elicited groans from the audience if Steenburgen had replaced Beckinsale in that gratuitous shower scene early in the movie. I thought Kate was terrific in Snow Angels, but here--and maybe because she KNOWS she is terribly miscast--she mails her performance in.

Anyhoo, in three days the sun will set for six months, and the base will be locked down for the duration. Stetko, who wants to get out of that God forsaken place by then, has a short window to solve the mystery. To complicate things, there's a (obviously cranky) pick-axe wielding madman on the loose. Never fear, it will all lead back to those drunken Russians who were too stupid to know that if they shot up their plane and the pilots too, it would probably go down. Frozen bodies are found, and fans of C. S. I. will enjoy it when the avuncular Dr. John Fury (Tom Skerritt) starts poking and cutting. You weirdos may dig it even more when he slices off a couple of Stetko's fingers due to severe frostbite.

Whiteout has the makings of a decent thriller--with mystery, suspense, and intriguing milieu-- and IF you can get past the egregious miscasting of Kate Beckinsale as a U.S. marshal--you may enjoy it.

But that's a big IF.

GRADE: C

TIMOTEO SEZ...

5 male and 5 female actors (living) I would go to see, even if their movie SUCKS!

DUDES:

MICHAEL CAINE

Favorites: The Magus, Alfie, Blame It On Rio, Sleuth, Dressed To Kill

BILL MURRAY

Favorites: Groundhog Day, Scrooged, Lost In Translation, Zombieland

WOODY HARRELSON

Favorites: The People vs Larry Flynt, Transsiberian, Zombieland

WARREN BEATTY

Favorites: Heaven Can Wait, Shampoo, Love Affair, Bulworth

ADAM SANDLER

Favorites: 50 First Dates, Mr. Deeds, Reign Over Me, Funny People

DUDETTES:

ZOOEY DESCHANEL

Favorites: Mumford, Yes Man, Gigantic, 500 Days of Summer

ELIZABETH PERKINS

Favorites: Big, The Doctor, Showtime series: Weeds

THERESA RUSSELL

Favorites: Black Widow, Whore, HBO mini-series: Empire Falls

CHLOE SEVIGNY

Favorites: Boys Don't Cry, Broken Flowers, The Brown Bunny, HBO series: Big Love

LUCY LIU

Favorites: Jerry Maguire, Rise: Blood Hunter, (okay, not really a favorite, but she gets nekkid!) TV series: Ally McBeal

SHUTTER ISLAND (R)

Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max von Sydow, Michelle Williams (with Emily Mortimer and Patricia Clarkson)

Director: Martin Scorsese

I've seen more appetizing opening scenes than Leonardo DiCaprio barfing his guts up, but it all gets easier to swallow from there in Martin Scorsese's mystery thriller, Shutter Island. Without giving too much away, there is red herring after red herring, until it all starts to smell pretty fishy toward the end, when the rug is pulled--not abruptly but gradually--out from under the viewer. At this point you may either go "BOOOO" or "BRAVO" (as I did) because I have to hand it to a movie that outsmarts me, and Shutter Island did. But then, I'm easily fooled--just ask my former girlfriends.

It's 1954, and U.S. marshal Teddy Daniels, (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his partner, Chuck, (Mark Ruffalo) show up at an isolated hospital for the criminally insane in Boston Harbor, to investigate the disappearance of a dangerous female inmate. They meet the enigmatic Dr. Cawley, (Ben Kingsley) and Dr. "could he be a former Nazi?" Naehring (Max von Sydow).

Dr. Naehring seems to enjoy playing mind games with Daniels, who was part of the liberation force at Dachau. Daniels has flashbacks of Nazis, and his murdered wife, Dolores, (Michelle Williams) who appears and speaks to him throughout the film. The intrepid lawmen keep running into roadblocks in their attempted investigation--the doctors are stonewalling them--leading to suspicions of a government cover up of ghoulish experiments being conducted on inmates. Events increasingly spin out of control, and there is a foreboding sense that the federal agents may have to fight to get out of this spook house in one piece.

Shutter Island is a scary flick, but it relies less on gore and more on a creeped-out feeling of what MIGHT be lurking just around the corner. Like this haunted house I went to once of a Halloween from my deep dark past. There weren't gobs of ghosties and goblins popping out every ten feet--there was just this one Frankenstein guy who would suddenly appear at the end of a long corridor, and would slowly begin tottering toward you. We ran, but everywhere we ended up he would be there again, and we couldn't find our way out of the place. My girlfriend peed her pants.

GRADE: B +

SERIOUS MOONLIGHT (R) (now playing at home where you'll never look at sitting on the can quite the same again)

STARS: Meg Ryan, Timothy Hutton, Kristen Bell

DIRECTOR: Cheryl Hines

How far would you go to convince your spouse of a truth he just couldn't see? In Serious Moonlight, Louise (Meg Ryan) is a Manhattan lawyer married 13 years to Ian, (Timothy Hutton) who just happens to be planning to abscond to Paris with his young mistress, Sara (Kristen Bell).

Louise shows up unexpectedly at their country house as Ian is composing his "Dear John" letter to her, and he reluctantly comes clean about his intentions. Convinced that her husband is temporarily blinded by infatuation, and not ready to shoot thirteen years down the sewer just like that, Louise cold-cocks him with a potted plant as he is walking out the door. While he is knocked out, Ian becomes all wrapped up in himself because his wife has duct taped him hand and foot. Learning that she intends to keep him immobilized until he comes to his senses and professes his love for her again, he requests that she at least set him on the toilet, which, like the good wife, she does--with his pants down. (I'm tempted to call this "potty humor," but that would be a crappy pun.)

Ian tries to cajole, sweet talk, and curse and yell his way out of his predicament--all to no avail. Louise--maniacally convinced of her version of reality-- bakes him cookies, reminisces, and even runs a slide show of old times as she argues her case. Will it work?

When Louise splits the scene for a short while, an opportunistic young burglar (Justin Long) shows up. Things turn a little mean (as befitting a dark comedy) when the burglar roughs the helpless husband up a bit, and even imparts some some scathing advice on relationships.

Both Louise and Sara--who has dropped by because she hasn't heard from Ian--will ironically end up in the same sticky duct tape predicament, courtesy of Todd the burglar. (Louise gets felt up a couple of times by the ill-mannered intruder--some cheap thrills for Meg Ryan fantasizers.) Todd trashes the place with his friends and then takes off, leaving the threesome to try to maneuver themselves free, and Ian to sort out his feelings for each of the women.

Meg Ryan--always a fine comic actress--is impishly and wickedly funny in this one. Kristen Bell, a good character actress, but not poised to be a leading lady--just yet (see my review of When In Rome) is fittingly cast as the "other bimbo." Timothy Hutton shows amazing forbearance, because he was lashed to that crapper and immobilized for up to twelve hours at a time during filming.

Serious Moonlight raises some intriguing philosophical questions about how far one should go to try to "save" another person from themselves. Penned by the late Adrienne Shelly, it has the intimate feel of a stage play. It's one of those rare little gems you don't expect to find, but end up grinning from ear to ear when you do. And Serious Moonlight has one of the coolest surprise endings ever!

P.S. More so than any other recent review I've written, people from all over the world have have been checking out this one, and they've been curious about one thing: THE ENDING!

While I can't overtly reveal what the ending of Serious Moonlight means-- for the sake of those who haven't yet seen it--the answer to your question, for those who have seen it, is...YES!

GRADE : B+