Timmy's Noodle Film Reviews

EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE (2011)

2012-02-01T13:02:00.000-08:00

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Thomas Horn, Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Max von Sydow
Director: Stephen Daldry
Genre: Melodrama

Maybe I've been watching too many art house and independent films lately, because as Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close began to unfold, I felt there was real potential there.... BUT... then that aura of SLICK HOLLYWOOD PRODUCTION just started dripping from every pore of it, and I knew what I was in for. How to describe...well...blatant manipulation of your emotions at every turn, where the poignancy of it seems manufactured, rather than stemming naturally from the story. Let's see, what would a character naturally say and do here? Hmm...forget that...gotta be something really gooey to get those tears gushing.

Oskar (Thomas Horn) is a precocious, but socially inept 11 year-old whose dad, Thomas Schell, (Tom Hanks) perished in the World Trade Center on 9/11. By all accounts, he was a good dad. He invented scavenger hunt games and made up stories to stimulate his son's imagination and get him to interact with other people. There's the fanciful story of New York's "lost sixth borough," for example. (Which kinda took me in, even.)

On the day of the tragedy, Oskar stands frozen and listens to the increasingly frantic phone calls on the answering machine from his father. He decides to conceal the recordings from his mother (Sandra Bullock). A year later, the boy is still consumed by his loss. In his dad's closet, he finds a key in a vase with the word "Black" written on the envelope. Oskar surmises that the key must have been left for him to find, and that it must fit the lock of some box that contains undiscovered messages from his father, in the event of his early demise. And that Black must be the surname of the person who holds the key (no pun intended) to this mystery. So he compiles a list of everyone in the five boroughs named Black (and there's a crapload of them) and sets off on an odyssey to visit each one of them until the mystery is solved.

Again, there were some things here that drew me in...the disparate people that he meets...their own stories of personal loss, or just the touching ways in which they send him off with love and godspeed. Unfortunately, and I don't know if this was intended, or it's just the way the inexperienced young actor comes off, (they found him from an appearance on Jeopardy) Oskar is extremely obnoxious and incredibly annoying--an insufferable little brat who feels entitled to make all the world feel guilty about HIS pain, and HIS loss, because no one else has ever experienced such things, you see. He continually spouts off from recall a bunch of amazing facts and figures in a monotone staccato voice, like some kind of idiot-savant, to illustrate his points and show us how bright he is for his age.That's fine as far as it goes--but in scenes that would seem to require it, the young Mr. Horn appears unable to demonstrate any real nuance of emotion.

Why was he chosen for the protagonist role in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close? Because Haley Joel Osment and Macaulay Culkin are grown up now...what do you want from me???

No one feels obliged to put Oskar in his place. Not even his mother, who is still dealing with her own pain, but tries to carry it with some semblance of dignity. In what is surely the most manipulative scene in this movie, her son, with venom in his eyes, tells his mom that he wishes SHE had been in the World Trade Center that day, instead of his dad. (If you can imagine.) There is a pregnant pause--we're supposed to wait for her reply because it will surely be good--but I knew immediately what she was going to say. The one self-deprecating thing she could have said designed to wrench the maximum amount of boo-hoo from the audience.

The only one who tries to rein the kid in is the mysterious man who rents a room at Oskar's grandmas place, played by the great Max von Sydow. He doesn't speak. Not because he can't, but because he's suffered a trauma of his own. The renter decides to accompany the boy on his arduous odyssey through New York City.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close also suffers from some totally implausible plot elements near the end. With all of its flaws, the film is still an extremely (see how I like to play off that word?) effective tearjerker. There was lots of sniffling going on around me in the theatre, and I know all those people didn't have colds. Me, I had a little piece of rock in my eye...or something...and kept tearing up to try to flush it out.

Bring lots of tissue.

Grade: B --

TIMMY'S TOP TEN (PLUS ONE) BEST FILMS OF 2011

2012-01-27T11:00:00.000-08:00

Hey kiddies...my list is appearing a little later than many others, because I wanted to make sure I had seen most of the promising films that were released right near the end of the year. In putting this list of the top eleven films of 2011 together, my main criteria were twofold:

1.COULD I RELATE TO IT ON A HUMAN LEVEL?  (Meaning it had more substance than just great special effects and all kinds of crap getting blown up every few seconds.)

2. DID IT MAKE ME SMILE?  (Either because it was damn funny, or because it touched my heart in some way--which always makes me smile.)

Yes, I've seen many of the films that appeared on other critic's lists, and most of them received at least a "B" grade from me...but they didn't quite measure up to the one's below. Nevertheless, feel free to argue in favor of anything you feel passionate about, (except the hot date you had last night) as I respond to all comments.

SO HERE WE GO--TIMMY'S TOP TEN (PLUS ONE) BEST FILMS OF 2011!
(Click on the title to see my full review of each film.)

11. Tuesday, After Christmas

10.   Cowboys & Aliens

9. The Adjustment Bureau

8. Crazy, Stupid Love

7. The Names Of Love

6. Horrible Bosses

5. Circumstance

4. Submarine

3. The Artist

2. My Week With Marilyn

1. Young Adult

Honorable mention: Cedar Rapids, The Ides of March, The Lincoln Lawyer, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Midnight In Paris, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas.

TUESDAY, AFTER CHRISTMAS (2011)

2012-01-27T08:56:00.000-08:00

Unrated

Stars: Mimi Branescu, Maria Popistasu, Mirela Oprisor

Director: Radu Mundean

Genre: Romanian/Art House/Drama

It won't be apparent to you at the beginning of Tuesday, After Christmas--which opens straightaway with a nude couple lounging in bed, exchanging playful banter--that the theme of the film is really about whether or not you believe in Santa Claus. But more on that later...

Our full frontal couple consists of Paul (Mimi Branescu) and Raluca (Maria Popistasu). Paul is married, but not to Raluca. Further complicating matters is that Raluca is acquainted with Paul's wife, Adriana, (Mirela Oprisor). She's their nine year-old daughter's dentist.

In any tale about a man and his mistress, the fundamental question that hangs in the air like a cloud of laughing gas has to do with if and when he's found out, and what consequences will ensue. Don't get too anxious about that, because first you're going to learn about these people in painstakingly mundane real time. That's because mundane is what REAL is, 99% of the time. It's the other one percent that most of us live for--whichever way it goes--because it's then that we feel alive. Maybe that's why happily married men cheat--as much for the risky prospect of getting caught as anything else. (There seems to be a little glimmer of James Bond in every guy.)

Director Radu Mundean shows us the everyday-ness of Paul's home life--where indeed he seems to be content. Nice wife. Adorable daughter. That's a lot to lay on the line, Mr. Bond.

So as the holidays approach, we're off to the department store to discuss--in a lengthy scene--the pros and cons of the snowboard Paul and Adriana are considering as a present for daughter Mara (Sasa Paul-Szel) from Santa. Yes, at age nine, Mara still believes in Santa Claus. A bit old for that by American standards--but her parents seem to think it's fine. Perhaps they enjoy the hide-and-seek game of it themselves. Maybe they would like to believe in Santa, or what he represents, too.

Tension builds slowly in Tuesday, After Christmas--but it does build. And there are two superb scenes in this film that make it well worth the wait. The first is when Paul takes his daughter to her dental appointment, not anticipating that Adriana has decided to show up there too. The two lovers are understandably nervous, as Raluca explains the procedures she wants to perform to the unsuspecting wife. We know what the subtle, walking-on-eggshells emotions displayed on each of their faces mean.

The other is when push comes to shove and Paul decides to confront Adriana with the truth. These are two amazing actors--a real-life couple, by the way--in a scene that is nothing short of a tour-de-force...as emotionally draining and REAL as anything you're ever likely to see on film. It can make you feel you're eavesdropping somewhere you shouldn't be. (Which causes me to wonder if they faced that situation for real, would their attitude be, like... WHATEVER...having been there, done that with the other thing?)

Maybe what Tuesday, After Christmas is trying to say is if you believe in Santa, you're just as likely to believe in happily ever after...and that can be a real letdown when the illusion is dispelled.

Grade: A

SUBMARINE (2011)

2012-01-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Craig Roberts, Yasmine Paige, Paddy Considine, Noah Taylor,
Sally Hawkins

Director: Richard Ayoade

Genre: Comedy/Drama

There's a method to the madness of the films I'm reviewing now. I'm busy preparing my Best Of 2011 list, and have been catching up on a few promising flicks I missed when they came out earlier in the year. All because I want my list to be truly reflective of the best--according to MY impeccable taste, of course!

So now we have Submarine.

Coming of age films (the good ones) are often funny, as well as poignant. Adolescence is a time of self-discovery; of testing one's wings; of taking those first few puppy love licks of another's face...and tasting her pancake makeup... PTOOEY!

The setting is a small town in Wales during the eighties. Fifteen year-old Oliver Tate has two primary concerns: Saving his parents' marriage, and engineering a successful courtship of classmate, Jordana.

Oliver (Craig Roberts) and Jordana (Yasmin Paige) are a quirky pair. Oliver lives a lot inside his head as he narrates much of the action for us. Jordana gets off on burning the hair off his leg with a match. They both participate as do-nothing bystanders when a female classmate is bullied. But they don't really see it as bullying--more like good-natured teasing where everyone is cackling and having a good time--except, rather expectedly, the victim. We will see later that Oliver develops a conscience about it. Jordana...not so much.

Craig's parents have fallen into that comfortable rut that befalls many a long married couple. The passion is gone. Oliver knows this because he has a clever way of monitoring their sexual (of lack thereof) activity. Oliver's dad, Lloyd, (Noah Taylor) is depressed. I mean, what would you call it when he shrugs his shoulders when it's obvious to everyone that his wife Jill (Sally Hawkins) is developing a thing for her old flame, Graham Purvis--a flamboyant guru type who lectures to packed houses, espousing his new-age twaddle (not that all new-age ideas are twaddle, but his are). Purvis is played with ego-dripping brilliance by Paddy Considine.

Oliver's parents are so amusingly stiff upper lip, so pseudo-hip, that they come into his room to explain to him that his mother--in a moment of weakness--performed a sexual act on the guru. "It's alright," his father says. "We've discussed it, and we've moved on."

Great stuff, but what captivated me most about Submarine was the interplay between Oliver and his love interest. Jordana subscribes to the tenet that ya gotta be cruel to be kind, and Oliver is game to play her game. But she is holding something inside about her own family that will test the mettle of their fledgling relationship.

You'll figure out the metaphorical significance of the title Submarine as you go along.

Grade: A

THE ARTIST (2011)

2012-01-20T15:29:00.000-08:00

Rated: PG

STARS: Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo, James Cromwell, John Goodman, Penelope Ann Miller, Uggie
DIRECTOR: Michel Hazanavicius
GENRE: Silent/Romantic Comedy/Drama

A black and white silent film in the 21st century? A la Monty Python...BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT!

Suave and "deboner" French actor Jean Dujardin--whom I enjoyed in OSS 117-Lost In Rio--has parlayed his collaboration there with director Michel Hazanavicius into something totally transcendent in The Artist.

Dujardin is silent film star George Valentin, whose career takes a nose-dive (no pun intended referring to the actor's distinctive honker) in the late twenties with the advent of talking pictures.

He is still in his heyday when we begin--getting unintentionally paired in a photograph with a young, ambitious film extra named Peppy Miller (the effervescent Berenice Bejo). When the photo hits the papers, it has some repercussions with George's wife (Penelope Ann Miller).

When the sound era of film began, many silent movie stars were swept out with the tide. The talkies required a new and different type of star--one who could be more expressive with his voice than the flailing of arms type of pantomime that was often required to get the point across in silent film. We follow George as bad turns to worse, and when the great depression hits, his wife dumps him, and he has to auction off most of his belongings just to keep afloat.

But his faithful Jack Terrier (the irrepressible "Uggie") is at his side through thick and thin--much to our delight. Perhaps the most adorable, expressive, and talented film dog of all time--and yes, like Lassie, he can "save Timmy from the well."

Meanwhile, Peppy Miller's star is on the rise, thanks to studio head Al Zimmer (John Goodman) who has taken her under his wing. But she has always had a soft spot in her heart for Valentin, longing wistfully that she could do something for him besides stand by and watch him go under.

George's fate appears sealed not so much by circumstances beyond his control, but by his staunch refusal to grow with and adapt to the times. But thanks to a hidden talent he possesses--which you'll see briefly on display near the beginning of the film--there may be hope on the horizon for him after all.

I have always been of a mind (as regular readers know) that a soundtrack can make or break a film. And nowhere in the modern movie making era has a film composer had such an opportunity to shine as in The Artist. I read some reviews of the film that DIDN'T EVEN MENTION the music! (In my book, that's next to criminal, not to mention brain dead.) Without Mark Isham's brilliant, nearly non-stop, intermittently lilting and dramatic score--which is as much the star of this movie as anything else--we would not be sitting here gushing about The Artist. Not even close.

Dujardin, known primarily as a French actor prior to his triumph here, can now add "international" to his title of film star. And Bejo has the kind of star presence that had me thinking throughout the movie that she was someone I was quite familiar with, but just couldn't come up with the name. Maybe that was just a psychic glimpse into the future.

Already a hit at The Golden Globes, The Artist is destined for multiple Oscar nominations as well.

Grade: A

THE NAMES OF LOVE (2011)

2012-01-18T13:43:00.000-08:00

Rated: R ( DVD)

Stars: Sara Forestier, Jacques Gamblin
Director: Michel Leclerc
Genre: French/Romantic Comedy/Drama

Normally, in America, when you've got your female star prancing around in her full birthday suit glory for what can seem like most of the movie, you've got yourself a sexploitation film. But in France, sex wasn't invented yesterday, (in the U.S. it never existed till the sixties) and they are quite adept at incorporating it into a serious film--seriously funny, seriously clever, and seriously poignant throughout, as in The Names of Love.

Sara Forestier, a big-eyed French Zooey Deschanel who takes her clothes off, (which Zooey doesn't do, but I still love her) is Baya, a free spirit whose mission in life is to convert conservative-minded men into liberals, which she does by taking them to bed. Miraculously, it doesn't take much for them to see the light...after she's turned it off, and turned them on.

But Baya, the product of a French mother and an Algerian Muslim father, meets her match in Arthur Martin, (Jacques Gamblin) a rather straight-laced epidemiologist. Baya initially takes him for a right-winger. He's actually socialist. Too uneasy to reveal that his mother is a Jewish holocaust survivor. Two "half-breeds" on a course for true romance.

The Names of Love handles politics, prejudice, multiculturalism, and historical tragedy with a devilishly playful touch that ferrets out the humor in everything--which we should all know exists if we can just get over ourselves long enough to see it. The dinner party scene where Baya commits one politically incorrect faux pas after another in trying to cozy up to Arthur's mother is pure gold.

At one point in the film, Baya says, "The day there's nothing but half-breeds, there will be peace."

I tend to agree.

Cultural and racial identity creates the rich, beautiful tapestry that currently makes up our world. It's when we allow it to overshadow the COMMONALITY OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE--as I like to call it--is when we get into trouble. We all come here from some unknown place. We all leave here for some unknown destination. In between, we all struggle with the same basic question: UH...WHAT DA HELL DO I DO NOW? That alone should form a bond among all humanity that transcends small- minded divisions.

The Names of Love...one of the best films of 2011!

Grade: A

CIRCUMSTANCE (2011)

2012-01-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Nikohl Booshen, Sarah Kazemy, Reza Sixo Safai

Director: Maryam Keshavarz

Genre: Art House/Drama

Iran might be considered one of the more "progressive" states in the middle east, if you count the fact that women can show their faces, and other TITILLATING patches of skin--such as elbows--in public. But that's misleading. What we in the west consider to be basic human rights--freedom of press, religion, sexual preference--still do not exist. The latter is explored in Circumstance, which I am ranking as one of the best films of 2011.

Atafeh (Nikohl Boosheen) and Shireen (Sarah Kazemy) are two beautiful, sophisticated (by local standards) teenage girls living in Tehran. They wish only to be allowed to explore the mutual attraction they feel for each other without fear of reprisal.

Atafeh comes from a well-to-do family. She is an aspiring singer. She dreams of fame. Shireen is the orphaned daughter of political journalists who met a bad end at the hand of the repressive Islamic revolution--underscoring what's at stake here for the lovers.

They party at underground clubs, shedding their mandated conservative attire to reveal miniskirts beneath. Here they can dance, do dope, and explore their emerging sexuality with peers--JUST LIKE REGULAR TEENAGERS IN THE WEST!

But there's a fly in the ointment. Atafeh's brother, Mehran, (Reza Sixo Safai) has recently returned home from a stint in drug rehab. Now he's embraced Islamic fundamentalism with a zealotry that shows in his eyes. The devious Mehran is the personification of all that is callous and hypocritical about repressive religious and/or governmental systems--he displays an almost too polite smile to his family members, while secretly filming their every move via a system of hidden cameras he has installed in their home--ostensibly to report any "improprieties" to the government's Morality Police.

Kazemy is a young, olive-skinned Angelina Jolie. Boshen will remind you of a budding Laura Dern. Both are newcomers, but you'd never know it. They pull it off, including most of their clothes for some tasteful yet convincingly steamy scenes together.

Circumstance, from Iranian-American director Maryam Kehavarz, illuminates the ideological clash that exists in modern day Iran through the story of Atafeh and Shireen--their young forbidden love and the forces that work to pull them apart. Those same forces that made it impossible to produce or display a film as controversial as Circumstance in Iran. Kehavarz assembled her cast and did the filming in Beirut, where the authenticity of the milieu remains intact.

Grade: A

YOUNG ADULT (2011)

2011-12-26T08:37:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Charlize Theron, Patton Oswalt, Patrick Wilson, Elizabeth Reasor, Jill Eikenberry

Director: Jason Reitman

Genre: Drama/ Dark Comedy

What we often fail to consider about people is there's a reason why they are the way they are. They don't just wake up one day and become suddenly dysfunctional. The reasons for why the gears are slipping in Mavis Gary's brain are not immediately revealed. So she's not exactly a sympathetic character, until we gain some insight into her pain farther down the line. All we know is there's a train wreck coming --we can see it building from miles away. And just how it's going to play out becomes the rubbernecking fascination of Young Adult--the low-key, darkly comedic effort from the director of Up In The Air, and the writer of Juno (Diablo Cody).

Mavis (Charlize Theron) is a hard drinking writer of teen fiction in her late thirties. Her publisher is expecting some words from her, but she sits uninspired in front of the computer. Her Minneapolis apartment is a disaster area. ( I felt an immediate kinship, as all slobs do.) Her sexual encounters are of the superficial variety. Something is missing in her life.

She receives a mass emailed announcement of the birth of her happily married high school sweetheart's first child. Star athlete Buddy Slade. At first Mavis is incensed, but it gets her to ruminating on her "homecoming queen bitch" (as a snarky former classmate will label her) glory days. She becomes fixated on the idea of going back to her hometown of Mercury, Minnesota and reclaiming Buddy for her own.

Yes, despite the "extenuating" circumstances.

Explaining her arrival back in town with a cover story about some real estate deal, Mavis hits the bar and runs into geek Matt Freehauf, (Patton Oswalt) who occupied the locker right next to hers in high school. But she existed in such a self-absorbed bubble that she doesn't have the slightest recollection of him, until her memory is jogged by a disturbing incident from those days. Matt's youth was marred by a severe beating at the hands of bullies, and now his legs don't work. His member sort of does, but it's crooked (like much of the twisted humor in this movie!)

So Mavis will rendezvous with the clueless Buddy, (Patrick Wilson) who thinks it's all for old time's sake--his marriage to Beth (Elizabeth Reaser, of the girl-next-door looks) on such solid ground that it's no biggie to either of them. Little do they suspect that she intends to ingratiate herself into their happy set-up like an army of termites poised to eat away at the foundation of their relationship.

On the side, Mavis develops a sort of symbiotic relationship with Matt. He manufactures moonshine and she drinks it. Fully aware of what she's up to, he functions as her dormant conscience--a sort of angel on her shoulder--trying to impress upon her how misguidedly deranged she's become. And just like Clarence, Matt WILL get his wings (and all of geekdom watching will rejoice!)

Though it's lost on Mavis, theirs is the more meaningful of the two relationships. They are kindred spirits, each crippled by the past, as yet unable to move beyond it.

The climactic scene brings the sudden realization that in Young Adult, what we've been watching all along is a character study of an individual in need of help--it's smirking humor derived from the irony of life itself.

I was never particularly a fan of Theron, but after Young Adult, I am. As Mavis Gary, she taps into our go-for-the-gusto, never to be denied, can do spirit--albeit in a selfish, obnoxious, and devil-may-care manner. But hey, as Mellencamp sang: Those old crazy dreams just kinda came and went...ah, but ain't that America...

One of the year's best films!

Grade : A

MELANCHOLIA (2011)

2011-12-21T11:56:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland, John Hurt, Charlotte Rampling

Director: Lars von Trier

Genre: Art House/ Sci-fi-/ Drama

Slap the Art House label onto a film and it can compensate for a multitude of movie making sins. Doesn't need to have much of a plot. Doesn't need to employ a lot of imagination, as long as the characters are quirky. And the camera work can appear so amateurish and unsteady that half the time when you're supposed to be looking at someone's face, you're looking at their belly button. But all this is normally overlooked by fans of the genre if something truly memorable stays with you.(The Brown Bunny , for example, is a film that will send you right to Snoozeville--until Chloe Sevigny blows you away at the end!) Lars von Trier's Melancholia answers to all of the above criticisms, but what saves it are some elements of black comedy, some fine performances from an impressive cast, and its gorgeous cinematography.

Justine (Kirsten Dunst) is a severely depressed young woman. Not a good time to get married, but what the hell. Her wedding reception at the palatial estate of her sister, Claire, (Charlotte Gainsbourg--who must be seen in von Trier's Antichrist to fully grasp how far she will go to give a gritty performance) and brother-in-law, John, (Kiefer Sutherland) comprises the entire first act of the film.

Here we are introduced to some of the aforementioned colorful folk: Justine's dad, (John Hurt) who feigns lifting fancy silverware and slipping it into his suit pocket; John, who keeps reminding everyone of how much this lavish affair is setting him back; and Justine's acid-tongued mother, (Charlotte Rampling) who gives a cringe-worthy speech about how she abhors the institution of marriage. (Rampling, who starred in many a film back in the day, where her main criterion for taking the role was that her character be NAKED, is now reduced to bit parts playing embittered old biddies. Would have been funny had she hopped up on the table--with everyone yelling TAKE IT OFF BABY--and gladly obliged once more for old time's sake...but that might not have played with the younger crowd!)

Anyhoo, things get progressively worse for Justine. She tells her boss to shove it. She ducks out of the proceedings to take a leisurely bath. She parries the amorous advances of her groom (Alexander Skarsgard). The evening is falling apart, but things aren't as bad as they're gonna be, because people start taking notice of this funny looking planet, "Melancholia," that is heading our way. There are mixed opinions from the experts as to whether there will be a near miss, or whether the planet is on a collision course with earth.

The second half of the movie belongs to Claire. While Justine has taken a so what, the earth is evil and we'd likely be better off attitude about this development, (remember, she's depressed) Claire grows increasingly fearful for herself and her young son, Leo (Cameron Spurr).

We see no news reports about the advance of the planet, which looks strangely like our own earth, by the way. No shots of people running through the streets or heading for the mountaintops, though John--the amateur astronomer--does begin stockpiling some survival supplies, while assuring everyone there's nothing to worry about. .

Bits of information come via the internet, but there is an eerie disconnect between this assemblage and the outside world . At first the impending crisis seems almost secondary, as they're all caught up in their own personal stuff-- like most of us--until the things that really matter loom large enough that they can no longer be ignored. The doppelganger earth on a collision course with our own appears to be a not so subtle metaphor for the path we humans have set upon to destroy ourselves.

In the end, Claire invokes a bit of "magic." The magic wasn't quite there for me--in my overall assessment of Melancholia--but it is still a film worth seeing. Just be sure to watch it with a friend, because you're going to want to discuss it afterward.

Grade: B

NEW YEAR'S EVE (2011)

2011-12-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

Rated PG-13

Stars: Too numerous to mention (see below)

Director: Garry Marshall

Genre: Comedy/Romance

Check out these names: Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hillary Swank,

Jon Bon Jovi, Jessica Biel, Abigail Breslin, Josh Duhamel, Halle Berry, Hector Elizondo, Katherine Heigle, Ashton Kutcher, Lea Michele, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, Zac Efron, Alyssa Milano, Carla Gugino, Jim Belushi, Sarah Jessica Parker, Ryan Seacrest, Sienna Miller...OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH, DAMMIT...because there are even MORE recognizable celebs in New Year's Eve--a film I had high hopes for, because dat be my favorite party time of the year!

Somehow, director Garry Marshall juggles this huge ensemble cast and its myriad intersecting story lines--mostly involving romantic foibles and folly--trying to connect, reconnect, or make amends for past misdeeds, as everybody gets kinda wistful on New Year's Eve (easy to do when you're falling down drunk!) It's a given what New Year's Eve is building toward--midnight on the last day of the year--when, for example, Katherine Heigle and Jon Bon Jovi's characters, who are ex-lovers, will make or break their chance at reconciliation. The kind of stuff that may pull at your heartstrings in a sappy, manipulative kind of way.

But too many characters = too much fragmentation = not enough character development. Wouldn't have mattered much anyway, because these are TV sitcom characters in a movie with TV sitcom laughs...meaning the funny parts are mostly lame, tame, and not really funny.

We've all seen the star-vehicle movies that were designed just to showcase the big name, and not much else (every ELVIS movie, for example). Same thing here, but with more stars and plotlines than you can shake a bottle of bubbly at, or care about keeping track of.

See, you'd think--or hope--that getting stuck in an elevator with hottie Lea Michele might produce more possibilities than having her blast a song in your ear at close quarters, (as she shouted out with Glee) but no--New Year's Eve is that vehicle for stars who sing to sing, and for stars who emcee television shows to emcee, and for stars who've become typecast for being in bad romantic comedies (Katherine, you're better than this) to be in another bad romantic comedy.

A fun thing you can do with New Year's Eve, though, is to try to spot all the celebs who are listed in the credits--like Penny Marshall. Where the hell was she? I didn't see her. Another one I missed was basketball star Amare Stoudemire, who is listed in the credits as a "party dancer."

Weird.

Grade: C

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN (2011)

2011-12-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Michelle Williams, Eddie Redmayne, Kenneth Branagh, Emma Watson, Judi Dench

Director: Simon Curtis

Genre: Drama

To those who knew her, Marilyn Monroe was known as a pretty sharp cookie--not at all the dumb blonde persona she maintained for the public. And that may be my only criticism of Michelle Williams' performance in My Week With Marilyn. Williams plays the mega-star closer to that public image, even in private. But in every other way, she nails the character--capturing the little girl vulnerability of a troubled woman who might well have traded in her fame for the feeling of being truly loved.

My Week With Marilyn chronicles a brief moment in time in the life of the late writer/documentary film maker Colin Clark. In 1956, Clark was a callow 23-year-old who had landed a job as a lowly production assistant for the the filming of The Prince and the Showgirl--a movie Marilyn Monroe co-starred in with Sir Laurence Olivier. Marilyn was newly wedded to playwright Arthur Miller, but he wasn't around much for the making of the film in Britain.

As the most celebrated woman in the world, Marilyn had some obvious trust issues. But she took a shine to the young lad. His puppy dog adoration and protectorship of her must have seemed like a rock she could rely on, as he alternately played escort, nursemaid, and suitor (at least in his own mind) to her during the turbulence of the film production--which saw Monroe showing up late for work and forgetting her lines.

Eddie Redmayne plays Mr. Clark as the dogged young man with stars in his eyes, determined to find a niche for himself in the film industry.

Kenneth Branagh, as Laurence Olivier, does a fine job of capturing the actor's petulance and befuddlement with the process of simultaneously directing (which he did) and starring in a film with Monroe.

Dame Judi Dench adds a touch of old school class to the proceedings.

In the minor subplot, Emma Watson is well cast as a young girl who has fallen for Colin, but sees it going for naught as the allure of the goddess continues to draw him in. (I had my own exquisite pain of the brush with fame when, at the same tender age, I spent an afternoon in the company of the number one female pop group of all time. The one I really liked held onto my hand for what seemed to be an inordinately long time, as we made small talk. That evening I wept at the realization that she could never be mine...so to say that I could identify with the young Mr. Clark's emotional predicament would be an understatement.)

I kept wondering how much skin they were going to allow Michelle Williams to display--especially if there were to be any topless shots--inviting the inevitable comparisons with Monroe's body. (I've seen both Monroe and Williams topless--each quite lovely in her own way--but I don't think anyone with a PRACTICED eye, such as...uh...MYSELF...would mistake one for the other!) So director Simon Curtis plays it just right. He gives us a couple of brief shots of Michelle's bottom--which I dare say, old chap, will compare favorably to anyone's...including Ms. Monroe!

The soundtrack, featuring some lush tunes from Nat King Cole (DAMN--he was a good singer) is perfect.

My Week With Marilyn is a small gem of a film that will break your heart...just like Marilyn broke everyone else's.

Grade: A

THE DESCENDANTS (2011)

2011-11-29T11:18:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: George Clooney, Shallene Woodley, Amara Miller, Nick Krause, Beau Bridges, Judy Greer, Matthew Lillard

Director: Alexander Payne

Genre: Drama/Comedy

There's a scene in The Descendants that pays homage (perhaps subconsciously) to Last Tango In Paris. It's where Honolulu attorney Matt King (George Clooney) is at the hospital bedside of his wife, Elizabeth--who lies in an irreversible coma as the result of a boating accident--giving her an earful of his pent-up emotions about everything from her infidelity, to leaving him in the lurch to raise their two problematic daughters by himself. I immediately flashed back to Brando's poignant, profanity-laced barrage unleashed upon the corpse of his cheating spouse, Rosa, in that classic film.

Anyway, it's quite tempting to 'ave a go at the old bird when she can't bite you back, apparently, which is just what Elizabeth's intractable teenage daughter, Alexandra, (Shallene Woodley) does as well. Even the wife of the guy she was screwing around with gets her licks in.

Yes... it's a drama. Yes... it's a comedy. And that's called a "dramedy" where I hail from, Mister. But one with a subtle touch, like the mixture of humor and pathos in everyday life.

Speaking of subtlety, that would be Clooney's performance for about the first half of the film. UNDERSTATED, I believe is the word. I wasn't sure if Matt King was supposed to be a guy who was just out of touch with his feelings, or if Clooney was mailing it in. Fortunately, our faith in George's acting ability is restored when the plot elements in The Descendants require him to get pissed off at friends who've been holding back the truth about his wife's shenanigans--then, with his young charges in tow, island hops over to Kauai to confront the erstwhile home wrecker, real-estate agent Brian Speer (Matthew Lillard). Ostensibly, Matt just want to inform Speer about his wife's dire predicament, but we know that he wants to get in the guy's face some too.

Speer ties into the subplot, as he stands to make a killing from the sale of 25,000 acres of pristine beach front property, previously handed down to King and his clan, of which Matt happens to be the sole trustee. A tangled web we weave.

All of it leads to Matt's eventual epiphany, about taking a stand in the face of overwhelming opposition. When it's all said and done, life goes on-- and The Descendants, gingerly groping its way along the darkened hallways of life, reminds us of that better than most.

Evaluations:

Beau Bridges shines as Matt's cousin, Hugh.

Patricia Hastie, as the comatose Elizabeth, gives a stiff performance.

Grade: B

MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE (2011)

2011-11-19T10:11:00.000-08:00

Rated :R

Stars: Elizabeth Olsen, John Hawkes, Sarah Paulson, Hugh Dancy

Director: Sean Durkin

Genre: Mystery-Suspense/Drama

Writer/director Sean Durkin had the opportunity to play up some of the more positive aspects of communal living--such as cooperative effort, family values, and...uhh...you never have to look far to find a babysitter! Instead, in Martha Marcy May Marlene he gives us the stereotypical cult with a charismatic, sociopathic leader--a la Charlie Manson--who lures wayward waifs away from their homes with a bunch of double speak and new-age mumbo jumbo.

When we join young Martha, (Elizabeth Olsen--who bears a striking resemblance to her famous older sisters, Mary Kate and Ashley, but with more meat on her bones) she is making her getaway from said commune in the Catskills. She calls her sister--the only family she has left--and in a halting conversation, is torn between wanting to return to normal society, or going back to the farm. And therein lies the crux of the film. When Martha moves in with sister Lucy, (Sarah Paulson) and her prickly husband, Ted, (Hugh Dancy) the emotional conflict she experiences builds into something progressively darker for the audience, as the events of her time with the clan are juxtaposed against the present in continual flashback/flash forward fashion. It's an effective device. Martha Marcy May Marlene is like a story of parallel universes, where similar kinds of events occur in very different ways.

Martha--who also goes by the other names in the title at one time or another--is a haunted and deeply disturbed young girl. Not only by what has previously occurred, but by the psychological hold the cult and its messianic leader (John Hawkes) still maintains over her.

A word of caution. Don't blink or you'll miss the ending. Some will no doubt be disappointed by it. But the more I think about it, it may be perfect. It's creepy and foreboding...I'll say that much.

THE FINAL WORD

Good performances all around, especially from Elizabeth Olsen in her first starring role. She strips her soul bare, and strips off her clothes.

WHAT MORE COULD WE ASK?

And though I'm a little disturbed (but probably not as disturbed as Martha) that there may be an intended anti-naked hippie message here, (my roots, man...my roots) Martha Marcy May Marlene obviously wouldn't work without it. So I'm willing to forgive.

Peace, brother.

Grade: B +

A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS (2011)

2011-11-09T09:35:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Danny Trejo

Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson

Genre: Comedy

On the raunch meter, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is on a par with Bridesmaids and Horrible Bosses. But because the theme is Christmas, there are additional sacred cows to be sacrificed to the gods of gross-out humor. No one--and I mean NO ONE--is immune!

The plot here is to get the estranged buddies--Harold, (John Cho) who is now a Wall Street businessman, and Kumar, (Kal Penn) still a slacker and a stoner--reunited for another whacked out adventure. When Kumar receives a holiday package intended for Harold, he obligingly delivers it to his old friend's residence , and this is where the fun begins. The pair is charged with nothing less than to save Christmas, after they open the package to discover a gigantic joint which, after being lit, ends up burning down the twelve foot fir that Harold's father-in-law (the menacing Danny Trejo) has lovingly raised from a sapling to become this year's holiday centerpiece.

Their Christmas eve quest to find a replacement tree before the family returns home from midnight Mass will lead to encounters with belligerent, foul-mouthed teenagers (are there any other kind?) who get even for losing a game of beer pong by spiking the eggnog and sending our heroes into a scary hallucinogenic trip--depicted in claymation, no less; a harrowing run-in with a Russian mobster who has ordered them killed in retaliation for a suspected attempt to deflower his hot-to-trot teenage daughter; and accidentally shooting Santa Claus out of the sky.

How Harold and Kumar end up in the chorus line of a Christmas stage production with Neil Patrick Harris playing himself as an outwardly gay, but secretly heterosexual perv, is one of the most inventive sequences in the film. And there are generous holiday helpings of T & A, with a side trip to heaven and some lovely topless angels and nuns. If your sense of humor is irreverent enough to survive all this, we have an adorable toddler who inadvertently gets high on pot fumes and cocaine dust.

ASSESSMENT:

I'd classify A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas as a guilty pleasure--the kind of movie where characters give into their basest instincts in speech and behavior, like many would do if we didn't feel bound by social convention and political correctness. For that reason, this merry brand of madcap madness can serve as an exhilarating release...like the secret fantasies of Miss Manners--letting her hair down as she falls off the bar stool, muttering vague sexual innuendo. We're all a conflicting jumble of instinct and inhibition, otherwise movies like A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas this wouldn't get made.

The first time I ever saw 3D--way back in the day--it seemed magical. Objects appeared to fly right off the screen and into your lap. I'd avoided the recent revival of this technology until now, because most of the films that employed it just weren't my cup of tea. For some reason, I'm not that impressed with it now. Was it the glasses? Did I have them on backwards? I'd go back and forth from looking with the naked eye, to employing the glasses, and, of course, there was some difference in depth perception, but maybe not enough for me to justify the extra three dollar surcharge. But don't let that stop you, especially if you're ready to get into the holiday mood. After all, you'll spend a lot more than that on a present for the jerky brother-in law you only see during holiday gatherings--the one whose name you can't quite recall.

Grade: B +

THE RUM DIARY (2011)

2011-10-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Johnny Depp, Richard Jenkins, Amber Heard, Michael Rispoli, Aaron Eckhart, Giovanni Ribisi

Director: Bruce Robinson

Genre: Action-Adventure/ Comedy

Johnny Depp channels his good (but dead) friend, Hunter S. Thompson, in The Rum Diary--the screen adaptation of Thompson's first novel about his adventures and misadventures in Puerto Rico circa 1960-- that remained unpublished until after the "gonzo" journalist had gained his notoriety. Isn't it funny how a piece of writing can be rejected by publishers as unworthy, but once the writer becomes famous for his later endeavors, it's suddenly not only good enough to publish, but to make a movie out of as well!!!

Depp is Paul Kemp, a fledgling novelist with a drinking problem who lands a job at the fictional San Juan Star, the island's English language daily that is on the verge of going belly up. (I landed a gig in P.R. myself in 1968, and the real San Juan Star was alive and well--in fact, being in the media, I worked with some of the reporters from that paper, which only recently ceased publication due to economic issues in 2008.)

Kemp, initially assigned to writing horoscopes by his embattled editor, Lotterman, (Richard Jenkins) obviously has a low threshold for tedium, so he teams up with photographer Sala, (Michael Rispoli) and together they get into drunken altercations with some of the locals, (helping to reinforce the image of the Ugly American...thank you very much) land in jail, and get bailed out by Sanderson, (Aaron Eckhart) an unscrupulous land developer who sees his opportunity to manipulate the young reporter into writing glowing reports about his scheme to build luxury hotels on a pristine neighboring island, and thus open up paradise to more hordes of tourists, all in the name of the mighty dollar. (The island, though never identified in the film, is Vieques-- which the U.S. navy was using as a bombing range, against the wishes of the inhabitants of the island, for many years.)

Gotta have some romance, of course, and Kemp finds himself falling for Sanderson's luscious girl-gone-wild girlfriend, Chenault, (Amber Heard) which is going to complicate things between himself and Sanderson, and lead to Kemp's epiphany, where he begins the transformation from hack horoscope writer and shill for the corporate world to crusading journalist. Here he gets to wax philosophical about truth and taking the bastards down--an attempt to steer this capricious, careening movie back onto the road and deliver something of substance--trite though the message may be.

What I liked:

A few of the individual scenes in The Rum Diary are pretty hot--like when Kemp and Sanderson's borrowed car and borrowed girlfriend, Chenault, are speeding along, playing a game of chicken to see who will scream first with the pedal flat out to the metal. Another one finds Kemp, Sanderson, and Chenault on the neighboring island of Saint Thomas, with the hedonistic young lovely dancing and losing her inhibitions with a group of local men, amidst an aura of escalating danger to the Americanos.

What I didn't like:

Scenes of cock-fighting. This barbaric "sport" is now illegal in all fifty states and the District of Columbia, and in many other countries as well. Sure, we're talking about Puerto Rico in the early sixties, and the cock-fighting action in The Rum Diary was monitored by the American Humane Association. Soft rubber spurs replaced the lethal metal ones that are normally used to facilitate a fight to the death. Still, there was no attempt made here to cast cock-fighting in any other light than a popular gambling event where lots of money changes hands.

In summation:

It's a patchwork kind of film--thin on plot, but no shortage of belly laughs--if you can enjoy drunken, slovenly, somewhat degenerate type characters (now I'm flashing back to my early family life!) The most unpleasant thing was the guy sitting a couple of seats down from me who was laughing so ANNOYINGLY loud and hard, I felt they should have removed him from the theater. But hey, it's the one place where you get to let it all out--where you get to be just as big of an A-HOLE as some of the characters on the screen... and things being the way they are, we surely need that.

Grade: C +

THE IDES OF MARCH (2011)

2011-10-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: George Clooney, Ryan Gosling, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Evan Rachel Wood, Marisa Tomei

Director: George Clooney

Genre: Drama/Political thriller

In The Ides of March, Stephen Myers (Ryan Gosling) is the young and talented press secretary to democratic presidential hopeful, Governor Mike Morris (George Clooney). The demo primary race has been narrowed down to two candidates, and whoever takes Ohio will be on the fast track to clinching the nomination.

Then, for Stephen, temptation appears, in the form of a young and provocative campaign intern named Molly (Evan Rachel Wood). And then, in the form of Tom Duffy, (Paul Giamatti) who runs Morris' opponent's campaign, and tries to get Stephen to jump ship and join the opposing side. Stephen proves susceptible to seduction--the literal kind that Molly provides--and the lure of being on what may be the winning side that Duffy is holding out like a carrot on a stick.

Things get more complicated for Stephen--and The Ides of March kicks into a new gear--when he learns a secret from Molly that could deal a fatal blow to Morris and his campaign, were it to become public knowledge. The once idealistic press secretary becomes locked in a struggle for his own future and personal power--amidst the machinations, manipulations, and skulduggery of national politics that we've all become too familiar with--whenever the dirty laundry of a John Edwards or a Rod Blagojevich is aired in public.

WHAT I LIKED:

The fine acting from this accomplished cast--especially that of Philip Seymour Hoffman (as the Morris campaign manager) and Paul Giamatti.

The dramatic music score from award winning composer Alexandre Desplat.

Nobody gets shot. No cars get blown up. No skinny woman fighting half a dozen burly guys simultaneously and leaving them all splayed out on the floor. In other words, a film for those with an IQ above 75.

WHAT I WASN'T CRAZY ABOUT:

The film moves at a snail's pace in the beginning. But when things pick up, it's worth it.

The ending. It's rather abrupt. Like these sentences. Guess I just prefer. More resolution. But if you think. About it. It makes. A statement. Don't think. About it.

IN SUMMATION:

The Ides of March is a character study of one man's descent from the ideals he holds dear in the beginning, to the sacrificing of those ideals for personal and political gain. There is a profound cynicism here about our political system, and what it takes to get elected to high office. Unfortunately, for we the people, it rings true.

Grade: B +

ABDUCTION (2011)

2011-09-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Taylor Lautner, Lily Collins, Michael Nyqvist, Sigourney Weaver, Alfred Molina

Director: John Singleton

Genre: Action/Thriller

Nathan (Taylor Lautner--Twilight) is a typical high school dude who rides on the hood of a truck with his buddies as the vehicle careens down the road, then comes home drunk from a party the next morning and gets into a boxing match with his dad, who knocks him around relentlessly--though Nathan gets a few licks in himself. Maybe he's not so typical after all.

One day, while working on a school project with his comely classmate and next-door neighbor, Karen, (Lily Collins) Nathan discovers himself on a missing person's website, and begins to question who his "parents" really are, and why a lot of other scary stuff starts to happen. Like why agents from the CIA are after him. And why some Serbian bad guys with thick accents are also hot on his tail. When all hell breaks loose, he must grab Karen and the two of them will run for their lives--discovering along the way that in the world of high-level espionage, there is almost no one you can trust.

What I liked

Enough plot twists to at least keep you hanging in there

Taylor Lautner appears to have the right stuff to become an enduring teen heartthrob/action star. Now he needs to work on developing his acting chops.

The "action" scene between Nathan and Karen on a moving train.

What I didn't like

Flat, comic book characters

The same old shoot 'em up, blow 'em up fascination with violence that drives most of the crap out of Hollywood these days

What I can't figure out

Why Sigourney Weaver is in this movie

Why they couldn't find a more apropos title than Abduction, which doesn't really fit.

Why Michael Nyqvist--most notably of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo trilogy--is in this movie. He does deliver the most interesting performance, as the key Serbian baddie. (Yeah, he's Swedish. Serbian...Swedish...all the same to us 'MERICANS, right? )

Why they turn the sound up so damn loud in the theaters! With a BOOM CRASH BLARING ROCK SOUNDTRACK like this, you might need to stick your fingers in your ears at times. Some in this audience may have to choose whether to do that, or to leave their finger in their nose.

In summation

With its two young stars, Abduction is geared toward the teen set, so if you're over twenty and leaning toward this type of flick, save your money and rent 3 Days of the Condor, with Robert Redford and Faye Dunaway--one of the all-time classic espionage thrillers (in my opinion). If you're younger, you just might like this one. The pacing is frenetic and nonstop...just like your attention span.

Grade: C

OUR IDIOT BROTHER (2011)

2011-08-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Paul Rudd, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer, Elizabeth Banks, Rashida Jones

Director: Jesse Peretz

Genre: Comedy

The only thing I suppose I have to complain about regarding Our Idiot Brother is that they made the sexy Rashida Jones (from The Office) into a really plain looking butch lesbian, but I guess something had to give with a bevy of other accomplished, easy-on-the-eyes actresses vying for screen time in this quirky, understated little film. It's as if Emily Mortimer, (Transsiberian, Lars and the Real Girl) Elizabeth Banks, (The 40 Year Old Virgin) and Zooey Deschanel, (500 Days of Summer, Yes Man) got together and said: Okay, if Rashida is going to be in this too, they're gonna have to tone her down ..'cause this thing is getting out of hand!

Paul Rudd stars as Ned, an overly trusting, pure-hearted organic farmer who is kind of a space-case--someone who speaks right off the top of his head without malice or (unfortunately) aforethought when many things would be better left unsaid. This has the unintended, but humorous effect of screwing up the lives and loves of his three sisters: Liz, (Mortimer) Miranda, (Banks) and Natalie (Deschanel). You see, Ned gets busted for selling pot to a UNIFORMED police officer who has "entrapment" written all over his face, but Ned thinks that the officer is just a really cool guy--hey, it happens...I could tell you stories from back in the day about some SERIOUSLY cool guys wearing uniforms, but...ahem...we won't get into that.

So when Ned is done with his stint in jail, he moves in--at various times--with each of his sisters. This is where the fun begins. Ned and Liz's young son, River, hit it off splendidly, as the child-like uncle is in his element when they're together. Then Ned stumbles into somewhere he's not supposed to be, and Liz's priggish filmmaker husband (Steve Coogan) is caught with his hand in a cookie jar he's not supposed to be dipping into--and, of course, Ned will innocently spill the beans, (to mix metaphors) because that's the gag-thread that runs through Our Idiot Brother.

In similar fashion, Ned manages to complicate the lives of Miranda--a manipulative writer for Vanity Fair-- and Natalie, the flaky bi-sexual partner of Cindy (Rashida Jones). Natalie, of course, is played by the DOE-EYED QUEEN OF SPOOKY/SPACE-CASE CHICK PORTRAYALS, Zooey Deschanel. I will admit that she is at least fifty percent the reason...okay...ninety-five percent the reason why I went to see this movie, as I may be her biggest fan. Anyway, it's easy to see that Ned and Natalie are related.

Our Idiot Brother flies close to the ground, and sometimes it feels like it's getting ready to break out and soar, but it never does--it cruises along just below the radar set to detect the raunchy, burst-out-loud-with-laughter comedies so prevalent these days, but that's what sets it apart.

Thin on plot, it's a character driven film, and these characters are absolutely nailed by the talented ensemble cast. We're talking new-age types who, in the process of trying to reconcile their base emotions with the ethereal values they aspire to, some pretty silly stuff comes out of their mouths. Of note is the performance by T.J. Miller as Ned's former girlfriend's new guy--he's so authentically "whatever, dude" that you can't help but have a grin on your face

whenever he's on screen.

What there is of a plot centers on Ned trying to get his golden retriever, named Willie Nelson, back from the unyielding former girlfriend and her beau. And what would a movie with a dog named Willie Nelson be without Willie Nelson's voice (the singer--not the dog) dropping in here and there to sing a few bars. Yeah, well...you had to be there.

It's a sweet movie, with a feel-good ending, and you're left reflecting on who are the real idiots here after all?

GRADE: B +

COWBOYS & ALIENS (2011)

2011-08-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Paul Dano

Director: Jon Favreau

Genre: Western/Action-Adventure/Sci-fi

A bunch of dusty, stinky, tobacco juice spittin' cowboys taking on some invading extraterrestrials who are almost as SCARY looking as LADY GA GA! The premise is, of course, farcical. Or is it? There are ancient drawings on cave walls that look for all the world like aliens from the sky, so there's no reason why they wouldn't have been around in the old west of the nineteenth century to come around and hijack the cowpoke's gold and abduct their citizens. (Why they want either isn't exactly clear, except it is stated that gold is as rare to the aliens as it is to us. Maybe they perceived that someday, in 2011, the price of gold would soar because of a tanking economy, and they could come back and sell it to some of those pawn shops you see advertising on TV.)

Don't try to follow the logic, because Cowboys & Aliens is about bigger philosophical ideas.

Briefly: The outlaw Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of the desert, not remembering who he is or why he is there, but he's got this high-tech bracelet attached to his wrist, which he eventually figures out he can use to blast anybody who gets in his face too much. He rides into the dusty town of Absolution, where he has a run in with young Percy Dolarhyde, (Paul Dano) the smart-ass son of Colonel Dolarhyde, (Harrison Ford) the big cattle baron who runs the town. Percy and Lonergan both end up in the hoosegow, though, because the sheriff still wants to do his job. Percy's dad gets wind of it, and he and his boys ride into town, intent upon springing his son. Just when we're getting into how this showdown is going to play out, alien spacecraft come screaming out of the sky and start bombing the crap out of everything.

WHOA PARDNER! Now there's somethin' ya don't see everyday around these here parts! So Cowboys & Aliens, which up to this point had all the makings of a good spaghetti western, (thanks, in large part, to the dynamic music score from Harry Gregson Williams, paying homage to the great Ennio Morricone) goes through a major upheaval-- like when tectonic plates collide--and it becomes a story that, while certainly not original, is timeless and awe-inspiring. It's the story of constantly bickering, warring and feuding mankind banding together for the common good to do battle with an outside adversary. I don't care how many holes in the plot this movie may have...I still find its message to be as inspiring as all "git out." And I challenge anyone with a heart to sit there and not go WOO HOO (at least to themselves) when this ragtag band of cowboys, outlaws, and Native Americans comes thundering through the canyon on their horses, with that music pounding in your ears, hell-bent-for-leather to engage the creepy aliens who, seemingly, would be a superior force, but never underestimate the dog with his back to the wall. Speaking of dogs, there's a lovable one in Cowboys & Aliens--a kind of mascot as it were for OUR team, who will steal your heart.

I couldn't imagine anyone better than Daniel Craig as the tough as nails hero/anti-hero in this one. And Harrison Ford is as authentic as they come as the crusty old bastard Dolarhyde who first wants to roast Lonergan's behind, then becomes his ally.

Yes..I LIKE THIS MOVIE! So to all the other reviewers who picked and nitpicked this film apart...you know where you can kiss it.

GO COWBOYS!

Grade: A -

CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE (2011)

2011-07-29T19:05:00.000-07:00

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Analeigh Tipton, Jonah Bobo , Kevin Bacon

Directors: Glen Ficarra, John Requa

Genre: Comedy/ Drama/ Romance

It takes a little getting used to, watching Steve Carell playing it straight, while those around him--Ryan Gosling, Marisa Tomei, Emma Stone, and others--steal the show in Crazy, Stupid, Love.

Carell is Cal Weaver-- just a regular, unremarkable guy. He has a lovely wife and some great kids. One night he goes out to dinner with his spouse, Emily, (Julianne Moore). Suddenly, she blurts out that she's been unfaithful to him and wants a divorce. Thrown into a tailspin, Cal hits the bars, where he is befriended by the quintessential smooth operator, Jacob, (Ryan Gosling) who essentially snaps his fingers and the ladies are ready to go home with him. Learning that Cal has never had another woman but Emily, Jacob offers to take him under his wing and show him the ropes of womanizing. Feeling he has nothing to lose, Cal agrees to an "extreme makeover" of his style--not only in clothes, but the way he approaches women, with some cringe-worthy and humorous results.

Trial and error begins to yield results, and before you know it, the pupil is outshining the teacher. Here's where a wickedly funny turn from Marisa Tomei comes in, as a gal who is hot to jump Cal's bones. But throughout his resurrection, Cal never allows the torch he is carrying for his wife to flame out, while Emily starts to have second thoughts about whether she might have been too hasty in her decision. Sound familiar, anyone?

When their 13 year old son, Robbie, (Jonah Bobo) gets into some hot water at school for the overuse of a certain expletive, Cal and Emily are summoned to a parent-teacher conference, which will yield its own delicious surprise. Waiting out in the hall. Attempting small talk. Wanting to say more, but hesitant to say more. What is great about Crazy, Stupid, Love is that one moment you're busting out laughing, and the next you're furtively brushing a tear from your eye at the poignancy of it all. Finding that delicate balance isn't easy, but it all works here.

Up until now I've kept it simple, but suffice it to say that the plot of Crazy, Stupid, Love has more interchanges than a clover leaf highway--most involving someone who has the hots for someone else who has the hots for someone who isn't the one who has the hots for them. (Follow?)

Complications abound, building to a climactic scene that is truly as CRAZY (and funny) as anything you're likely to see, along with a major plot twist that had the audience reeling with UH-OH surprise.

Analeigh Tipton is an up-and-comer who plays Robbie and his younger sister's 17-year old babysitter. Robbie has a major league crush on her. What she does to help him deal with it at the end undoubtedly will have some straight-laced older folks shaking their heads...BUT I LOVED IT! Those who know me will say, "Yeah, HE would!"

In the film's major subplot, Emma Stone shines as Hannah, a young bar hopper who hooks up with Lothario Jacob, destined to be just another one of his easy conquests...or IS she?

Julianne Moore gives us her typically brilliant performance.

Kevin Bacon is here too, and why not, if you're familiar with the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game.

There's even a cameo from the ever maudlin Josh Groban, in a non-singing role.

Along with Horrible Bosses, Crazy, Stupid, Love now gives us two brightly gleaming summer comedy gems--a rarity in any year!

Grade: A

CEDAR RAPIDS (2011)

2011-07-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Ed Helms, Anne Heche, John C. Reilly, Isiah Whitlock, Jr., Alia

Shawkat, Sigourney Weaver, Kurtwood Smith, Stephen Root

Director: Miguel Arteta

Genre: Dark Comedy

Cedar Rapids, IOWA--where I lived and worked for a time WAY back in the day. The folks there were--shall we say--not terribly hip. As a young dude, I sported longish hair, and the people would literally hang out their car windows, pointing and laughing at me as I crossed the street! (DUDE LOOK LIKE A LADY...HHAWW!)

Ironic that the same town of today (which appears to be all built up and grown up...I didn't recognize any of it) serves as a metaphor for sophistication in the ultimately sweet, and bittersweet comedy, Cedar Rapids. Sophisticated in comparison to Brown Valley, Wisconsin, anyway--where insurance agent Tim Lippe has come from to attend the big convention.

I had to wonder if Ed Helms, who plays Tim as the ultimate country rube, didn't watch Big with Tom Hanks as many times as I did. Hanks' character is literally a 13 year-old trapped inside an adult male's body. Tim Lippe has no such excuse to fall back on. He's a bona fide adult with the emotional maturity of a 13 year-old. Exactly why, we're not sure, because not everyone in Brown Valley is quite as naive. Take, for example, Tim's middle-aged bed buddy, Macy, (Sigourney Weaver) who has been around the block a time or three (she was once his 7th grade teacher!)

Tim's boss, Bill Krogstad (Stephen Root) sends him off to the insurance convention in hopes of capturing the coveted Two Diamonds Award, an honor previously bestowed upon the local agency for a few years running. When Tim lands in "the big town," the first person he meets is a hooker (Alia Shawkat) who is working the hotel circuit. More culture shock follows when he meets his African-American roommate, (Isiah Whitlock, Jr.) and the third roomie--the wild, crazy, and profane Dean Ziegler (John C. Reilly). And Tim will soon fall in with Joan, (Anne Heche) a jaded married chick who approaches these conventions as her one chance to taste some freedom, and a little bit of recklessness. And reckless the exploits of these four will become-- as wild parties, booze, drugs, and hanky-panky begin to transform the straight-laced insurance salesman into something he's not sure he ever wanted to be.

Good performances all around--though people like Tim Lippe exist only in a Norman Rockwell world, so in that respect, Helms' portrayal is over the top when compared to the other characters, each of whom COULD be real! And of all the quirky, colorful personalities in Cedar Rapids, I think I like Bree, the hooker, the best. (No reflection on my personal life--heh heh.) She may be the most pragmatic of the bunch, and she dispenses the film's ultimate nugget of wisdom, about the compromises we all make just to get by.

Cedar Rapids is a film that will linger with you like the faint trace of some intoxicating perfume.

And for a dose of reality, I just read that prostitution is a growing problem in the city. PIMPS AND HOOKERS...WOW! Guess I could walk those streets now with my pony tail and see people who look a lot weirder than me!

How times change.

Grade: B +

THE LINCOLN LAWYER (2011)

2011-07-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Matthew McOnaughey, Ryan Phillippe, Marisa Tomei, William H. Macy

Director: Brad Furman

Genre: Drama/Mystery-thriller

Recently out on DVD--The Lincoln Lawyer, from the Michael Connelly novel, is a step up in class for Matthew McOnaughey, most recently remembered in this reviewer's mind for lightweight comedies such as Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. McOnaughey has some substantial acting chops, and he displays them as Mick Haller--a slick LA defense attorney who works out of the back of his Lincoln Continental, and is known for taking on the dregs of society as clients.

He's not overtly idealistic in the sense that he believes everyone--no matter how heinous the deed they may be accused of--deserves a competent defense. No, he's more of a SHOW ME THE MONEY guy, who is not above using bribes to get what he wants, or occasional sleight of hand subterfuge to pull in some extra bucks.

When a rich playboy named Louis Roulet (Ryan Phillippe) is fingered for the rape and attempted murder of a prostitute, Haller sees visions of a big payday from the man's family. But what we're likely to believe about this defendant in the beginning gets thrown out of whack by some interesting twists and turns of the plot. Mick finds himself caught up in a web of intrigue involving a former client now doing time, a murder from the past with eerily similar overtones to the crime Roulet is charged with, and a looming threat to his own safety.

The existential dilemma posed by The Lincoln Lawyer revolves around one being sworn to a course of action that he already knows may have dire consequences if successful, but must stay the course for the sake of every principle our justice system was founded upon. A crisis of conscience. The beauty of these kinds of questions--and what contributes to the success of

The Lincoln Lawyer--is that they set us to contemplating what we would do in a similar situation. To Mick Haller's credit, he is one resourceful dude, and we root for him because we sense that beneath the obvious cynicism, there's more goodness within him than meets the eye.

Marisa Tomei, as Haller's fellow attorney ex-wife, is under utilized here--but no matter, because after her brazen in-your-face display of sexuality in The Wrestler, I will forever find myself thinking: HOW'S SHE GONNA TOP THAT?

A great hip-hop flavored soundtrack contributes to the neo-noir feel of this one. Yeah...that's LA, man.

Grade: B +

I AM (2011)

2011-07-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

Unrated

Stars: Tom Shadyac, Bishop Desmond Tutu, Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, Coleman Barks

Director: Tom Shadyac

Genre: Documentary

Tom Shadyac was a successful director of mainstream films (The Nutty Professor, Bruce Almighty, Ace Ventura) who lived a successful person's typical lifestyle of having more than he needed: A mansion with more rooms than would ever be occupied, fancy cars, private jets, etc. Not so strangely enough, (to anyone rich or poor with a developed spiritual side) he came to the realization that he was no happier because of it. Then, after a bicycle accident that left his long- term health outlook in jeopardy, he had a shift in consciousness. The proverbial light bulb going off in his head. He stepped back and took an honest look at the futility of a consumerist society addicted to getting more, having more, and keeping up with and surpassing the Joneses--stoked by the planned obsolescence of accelerating advances in technology.

So he headed out with a camera crew of four --bent upon finding the answers to two questions:

What's wrong with our world?

What can we do about it?

The result is his film titled: I AM. In similar style to the 2004 documentary, What The Bleep Do We Know?, Shadyac's movie features interviews with scientists, philosophers, and spiritual leaders-- augmented by animation, and lots of clips of wild animals and wild people. But while both films have a metaphysical bent, I AM is ultimately more down to earth--looking at the practical side of life on our planet, espousing the ideology that human beings were designed to cooperate--for the resulting benefit of all--rather than be in constant competition with one another. We may live in the illusion that we are separate drops of salt spray crashing against the rocks for this briefest of moments, but it reality we belong to the ocean...we ARE the ocean. In other words, we are all connected at a fundamental level. Shadyac interviews the likes of Bishop Desmond Tutu, Dr. Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, and poet Coleman Barks to help illuminate his point.

Indigenous cultures view wanting and having more than we need as a sign of MENTAL ILLNESS. I can't disagree with that. Why would anyone want to have more than they NEED, unless they're planning to spread some of the wealth around? (Like Bill and Melinda Gates!) The answer is obvious. Those mansions on the hill are monuments to vanity and inflated ego.

I AM argues convincingly that if material gain is your primary motivation in life, you are heading down an ultimately disappointing dead end road.

If you resonate with a movie like I AM, then most of what is contained therein will come as no big revelation--so in that sense, Tom Shadyac is preaching to the choir. Nonetheless, this is a truly uplifting film. If you think of it as a steaming pile of woo-woo, you'll probably go right from the theater to purchase that latest Smart Phone on your already maxed-out credit card, honking and flipping off other drivers along the way.

Grade: B +

HORRIBLE BOSSES--2011

2011-07-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Kevin Spacey, Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Anniston, Jamie Foxx

Director: Seth Gordon

Genre; Dark Comedy

Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis are pure devilment together in Horrible Bosses-- a brilliant, snappy, outrageous, sexy, dirty, laugh-out-loud tour de force of a dark comedy that may just be the funniest thing of its kind ever to hit the theater screens! (Okay, so now you wanna know how I REALLY feel about it!)

Nick, (Jason Bateman) Dale, (Charlie Day) and Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) are three hapless wage slave buddies, each working for the boss from hell, and too dependent upon their jobs to quit, so they grin and bear it--just like most poor working schmucks in the real world. That is, until they hatch a plot to do away with all three of their nemeses.

Kevin Spacey is Dave Harken-- an anal, obnoxious, disingenuous authoritarian who jerks Nick around like a marionette. Across town, Kurt's boss bites the big one, and his cocaine addled son (Colin Farrel) is now calling the shots. And Dale is a dental assistant working for the sexually aggressive--okay, she's downright predatory--Dr. Julia Harris (Jennifer Anniston).

The fun begins when our three bumbling Musketeers start breaking into their boss's homes to gather incriminating information. A chain reaction of events is triggered, and somebody does end up dead, but it doesn't go down the way we're expecting.

The laughs in Horrible Bosses are rapid fire, and the other patrons at the showing I attended were cackling all the way through the un-politically correct hijinks--as most people will do in a darkened theatre where they can't be identified and pressured to make some silly public apology about something they said...or found amusing.

And while any sense of plausibility is thrown out the window early on, and you have to roll with that if you're going to get into the spirit of things--I did find it TOO RIDICULOUS to believe that Dale--as a red-blooded American male-- would staunchly resist the advances of a scantily clad, lewd and lascivious JENNIFER ANNISTON--even if he is engaged! The "dentist who wants to get drilled" represents a stunning departure for the former queen of PG-13 romantic comedy, but I think it's a good one for Anniston, who is finally showing us she's all grown up at age 41!

Kevin Spacey is utterly convincing as an over the top A-hole, and Jamie Foxx garners guffaws as a "hit man" named Motherfu**** Jones.

Everything came together for this one--the writing, the pacing, the acting--making Horrible Bosses one that will go down in the annals in the same class as The Hangover!

Grade: A

TIMMY'S OVERLOOKED GEMS AND CURIOSITIES # 2

2011-07-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

BREEZY--1973

Rated: R

Stars: William Holden, Kay Lenz, Roger C. Carmel

Director: Clint Eastwood

Genre: Romantic Drama

ASSESSMENT: CURIOSITY

One of Clint Eastwood's largely forgotten directorial efforts, Breezy is a cultural time capsule--a sweet little May-December romance with undertones of Hollywood's dismissive attitude toward the hippie counterculture of the day.

Kay Lenz is the free-spirited "Breezy," and as the nickname would suggest, the opening scene finds her trying to tiptoe out the door on some dude she's just spent the night with, giving us the first of numerous T&A shots that she will benevolently bestow upon us throughout the film. (Reminding us poor silicone-bombarded lads of the twenty-first century how beautiful a woman's NATURAL breasts can be when they don't look like two identical over-inflated party balloons!)

While hitchhiking, Breezy gets picked up by this perv guy who broad brushes the whole counter culture movement of the sixties and early seventies as a bunch of "hippie-dippies,"

while simultaneously trying to put the moves on her. She has to bail on the guy, and ends up outside the Laurel Canyon digs of real estate agent Frank Harmon (William Holden). Frank is initially stand-offish to her--he's gone through a devastating divorce, and anyway, as he notes in one scene, he's twice her age. An understatement because Holden was 55 in 1973, (and actually looked over sixty) and Kay Lenz was 20, playing a character who is ostensibly 18 or 19.

Anyway, she keeps coming back, hanging around, and slipping in and out of her duds in front of him to take a shower and stuff-- in that cavalier manner that chicks had back then (oh, for the good old days) and before you know it--convention be damned-- they've got a thang goin' on.

But Breezy is not what she seems. What she really wants is romance, commitment... and hey, Frank's upscale lifestyle wouldn't hurt either. What Frank wants is to enjoy her favors for a time, and then remind himself of what a foolish old goat he is to think that this preposterous affair could last. And that, of course, leads to the bittersweet part of Breezy .

On the surface, Kay Lenz and William Holden may have been the oddest of Hollywood's odd-couple pairings, but there was a chemistry there that seemed to work, nonetheless--especially in their sweetly erotic candle-lit bedroom scene-- giving (false) hope to all the aging lechers who still maintained hopes they might snag a wayward young thing of easy virtue like Breezy, who would be just as arbitrary about her choice of rutting mates. (Not to be confused, amidst all the election talk, with running mates.)

The acting was nothing special--Kay Lenz was still honing her skills at this point--and Holden's performance is one-dimensional, but fitting in with the overall quality of what we were accustomed to in those days because most of the actors were "acting." No directors like Jim Jarmusch around at the time. (Remember how wooden the performances seemed in those movies from the forties and fifties? It got a little better in the sixties, but still pretty spotty until the likes of Dustin Hoffman came along.)

Breezy, which could best be described as an adult style fairy tale, gets the nod as a curiosity-- sort of an anti-Easy Rider of its era, where the free-spirited flower child stands out as an oddity because she's surrounded by some real squares. Nonetheless, it's an interesting film, if for nothing else than the jaundiced-eyed snapshot of an era it presents.

With some original music by Michele Legrand.

TIMMY'S OVERLOOKED GEMS AND CURIOSITIES

2011-06-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

DON JUAN De MARCO--1994

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Marlon Brando, Johnny Depp, Faye Dunaway

Director: Jeremy Leven

Genre: Drama/romance

Assessment: GEM!

Any movie that can lift you out of the hypnotic, auto-pilot state of your everyday existence and show you a world where there is greater depth of living and loving, and do it in a thoroughly captivating manner, is one that I will rave about! Don Juan DeMarco is such a film.

A young man (Johnny Depp) wearing a cape and a mask is convinced that he is the legendary Don Juan, "the world's greatest lover." He has made love to over fifteen hundred women. But he ends up in a psychiatric hospital following an apparent suicide attempt because the only woman he has ever really love has rejected him. He is under the care of Dr. Jack Mickler, (Marlon Brando) who is under pressure to start medicating the guy because the dude is obviously delusional. But not so fast...the patient regales his psychiatrist with tales of growing up in Mexico, where he made love for the first time at age 16, avenged his father's death in a sword fight, and later ended up in an Arabian sultan's harem where he took on a "service" oriented role.

Fascinated by the young man's sincerity, (as he charms the pants off of the female employees of the facility) Mickler falls under his patient's spell, and comes to believe that he may actually be who he claims to be.

Don Juan tells his doctor that there are only four questions in life:

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

What is worth dying for?

The answer to each of these questions is: "ONLY LOVE."

The tail begins to wag the dog, and Dr. Mickler soon finds his spirit rejuvenated. He goes home to his wife, Marilyn, (Faye Dunaway) and says: "We've surrendered our lives to the momentum of mediocrity. What happened to the celestial fire that used to light our way?"

He also says: "GODDAMN, YOU'RE A GREAT BROAD, REALLY!" This is classic Brando, so reminiscent of his character in Last Tango In Paris that I wondered if there wasn't some subtle tongue-in-cheek parody of that role going on here, especially when he takes a piece of gum out of his mouth and disposes of it, another deja vu moment from the aforementioned film. (Am I the only one who notices these things?) Or maybe it's just that Marlon Brando, with all his idiosyncrasies, could never truly be anything other than himself. (Even in his blimped- out state of 300 pounds, or whatever he was for this movie.)

Don Juan DeMarco got a PG-13 rating when it came out, but there are as many bare naked ladies flitting about (and delightfully so) as there were in Eyes Wide Shut! Probably would have received an R by today's standards.

In the end, the fundamental question of Don Juan DeMarco isn't whether Depp's character really is who he thinks he is--but rather, are any of us really who WE think we are?

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS--2011

2011-06-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Marion Cotillard, Michael Sheen, Kathy Bates

Written and directed by Woody Allen

Genre: Romantic comedy

It's all about finding one's place.

Gil, (Owen Wilson) a Hollywood "hack" screenwriter who aspires to be a novelist, has come to Paris with his fiancee and her parents. The parents are on a business trip. His material girl, Inez, (Rachel McAdams) is all about shopping. Gil--an incurable romantic--has a fantasy about living in the City of Light during the golden age of the twenties, where he could rub elbows with the legendary artists and writers of the Lost Generation. He talks about chucking Hollywood and moving to Paris. Neither Inez--who thinks he's gone off the deep end-- nor her stuffy parents, understand him.

Gil ends up walking the streets alone at night, and at the stroke of midnight, a vintage Peugeot pulls up and he is ushered into the vehicle to join a group of revelers inside. In short order it becomes apparent that he has entered a time warp, as he in turn meets F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Pablo Picasso, and a host of other literary and artistic figures. He even gets the opportunity to have his novel-in-progress critiqued by Gertrude Stein (Kathy Bates). Then there is Adriana, (Marion Cotillard) an alluring flapper who may be stealing his heart.

Midnight In Paris is peppered with Woody Allen's trademark philosophical musings about life and death, as it meanders through the winding streets of the city and of time--arriving at a small, yet comforting epiphany (if you've spent most of your life wondering why life isn't very satisfying) about why it's imperative for us to BE HERE NOW.

A charmingly quirky movie, Midnight In Paris is much like the Parisians themselves. They won't wear white tennis sneakers on the city streets, as if that were some kind of major fashion gaffe, but then, they don't mind if you bring your dog into the cafe and let him sit at the table with you while you dine.

Sometimes finding one's place is as much about finding one's place in time as it is anything else. Midnight In Paris is time well spent with a bunch of fascinating characters who spring to life from the pages of history.

Grade: B +

BRIDESMAIDS--2011

2011-06-01T17:39:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Chris O'Dowd, Melissa McCarthy

Director: Paul Feig

Genre: Comedy

For Hollywood these days, gross-out translates to gross receipts at the box office. And every gross-out comedy appears to be trying to outdo the previous one. Even if the story line is halfway believable, the rules of this one-upmanship dictate that certain scenes have to be played over the top silly, outrageous, or cringe-worthy--because it's a contest, you see. What's remarkable about the Judd Apatow produced Bridesmaids is that it's a chick flick, written by women, but pulling no punches when it comes to raunch and bodily excretions emerging at inopportune times. Men have always secretly known (or probably hoped) that women were just as gutter-mouthed and sex minded as we are. Now we have Bridesmaids as exhibit "A."

There's no denying that the movie is bust-a-gut funny. The opening grabs you right off the bat, (think Kama-Sutra) and it's a wild ride from there on out. But some of the scenes play like over the top sketches from Saturday Night Live, where two of the film's stars-- Kristen Wiig (also the co-writer) and Maya Rudolph--cut their chops. The trouble with that is that from a believability standpoint, these movies are like musicals, where people are talking and going about their mundane lives--when suddenly an unseen orchestra starts playing and the characters break into song in the middle of some smelly garbage dump. Then everything reverts back to normal and we're not supposed to notice that something implausible has just occurred. Beneath it all, though, there's a sweet little story about feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and the true nature of friendship.

Annie (Kristen Wiig) and Lillian (Maya Rudolph) are best friends from way back. Lillian announces that she's getting married and wants Annie to be her maid of honor. But subsequent events bring out the worst in Annie. She's in a superficial sex-buddy relationship with this superficial dude (Jon Hamm) who, as they're lying there in bed, says stuff like, "I want you to leave but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick."

So maybe, underneath her outward expression of joy for Lillian, Annie is jealous of what her friend has. That jealousy rears its head in a bigtime rivalry (and spoof on the stereotypical cattiness of women) with Helen, (Rose Bryne) the groom's wealthy sister who is financing the lavish wedding and all its preparations. Annie is incensed that Helen is trying to claim best friend status with Lillian, and each tries to one up the other in a scene where they are mouthing platitudes to the lucky couple into a microphone...on and on and on...because each of them wants to have the last word. This scene (unlike most of the movie, thankfully) leaves one cringing and feeling embarrassed for both of them.

Annie reveals herself as mentally unstable when she gets boozed up and goes berserk on a plane flight, and gets hauled in by the authorities after an unscheduled landing, in what is the funniest scene in the film. But the next shot shows her driving down the highway, apparently turned loose with just a slap on the wrist for behavior that, in the real world, would get anyone in BIG time trouble. Reminds me a little of Sandra Bullock's character in All About Steve, who is obsessed with this news reporter and stalks him all over the country...and in the end we're supposed to believe she's not a psychopath--just misunderstood.

I guess I'd be remiss if I didn't describe some of the gross-out stuff, so you can decide for yourself if Bridesmaids is for you: The entourage of gals who will be maids at the wedding get struck by some apparent food poisoning. While one of them hangs her head over the toilet, another hops butt first onto the sink to gain some relief. Another gal rushes in and barfs on the hair of the one who is stationed over the toilet. Lillian runs out of a shop, desperately trying to find an unoccupied rest room. She doesn't make it, and has to take a dump right in the middle of the street--in the expensive wedding gown she was trying on.

ALL THIS AND A MUSICAL CAMEO BY WILSON PHILLIPS TO BOOT!

Bridesmaids also disturbingly reminds a practical-minded guy like myself of how delusional people are--spending obscene amounts of money on an event which last for a few hours--as if they've accomplished something, when they haven't proven anything to the world yet about making it work over the long haul. Stay together for a couple years, THEN have a big celebration.

You've earned it.

GRADE : B (I'd be a traitor to my gender if I rated a chick flick any higher!)

BLUE VALENTINE--2010

2011-05-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Michelle Williams, Ryan Gosling

Director: Derek Cianfrance

Genre: drama/romance

When Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams) first meet, they are a couple of rather likable young adults. Cute kids, as it were. She is playful, with a wicked sense of humor. He's the sensitive type, who has a soft spot in his heart for old people and children. What happens to them in Blue Valentine is an all too common tale (told in an uncommon manner) of relationships struggling to survive, in a world where the rules have changed since the days of 2.3 kids and a house with a white picket fence being the ideal. The film hops, skips, and jumps around in non-linear fashion, so we alternately see the hopeful beginnings of Dean and Cindy's relationship juxtaposed with what they have become today, which is akin to the last minutes of the Titanic treading water.

They have a young daughter who is Dean's pride and joy. And he's good with her. Perhaps he should use some of that charm on his wife, who, as each of them approaches middle-age, has gained weight and doesn't like sex anymore (at least not with him). When people tie the knot, they awaken to the stark reality of who the other person REALLY is...and things that they may have glossed over in their initial romantic haze begin to stick out like a sore bum. But give Dean credit for trying to rekindle the spark, when he sets up a "romantic" weekend at one of those cheesy love hotels. He tries to make it work with her in a steamy shower scene, which only serves to illustrate the depths of Cindy's sexual ennui.

The plot of Blue Valentine never points directly to the root cause of their marital discord, other than the old saw that familiarity breeds contempt. Dean is a high school dropout with a menial job. Cindy tells him that he has no ambition. Maybe because of this, he drinks and smokes too much. It's amazing how a sensitive man can seem just the opposite when he shows up at his wife's workplace, careening in a drunken daze and picking a fight with her boss. (A truly wild scene!)

Cindy was a tad promiscuous in her youth, and when she informs Dean that she's pregnant, he asks her if it's his. She doesn't know. She says probably not. He takes it in stride because he loves her. Years later. she runs into the truly unlikable guy who probably is the real dad, and she's uncomfortable talking with him. Is there something still there? Cindy's dad was a butthole, and they say girls grow up looking for their fathers, so maybe she's more attracted to the bad guys. Not an uncommon thing. Maybe you'll get a different impression. That's what's intriguing about Blue Valentine. It's open to interpretation.

Good, and often times raw performances from the two leads. Michelle Williams gives us a double whammy--she's a true talent AND she's willing to do about any kind of raunchy scene just short of hardcore in her movies. In the old days, it was just the up and coming actresses who would do that--trying to get noticed and make a name for themselves. But now, more and more established talents--like Marisa Tomei and Anne Hathaway--are willing to "give their all for their art." Whether it's for the sake of gritty realism--or, in Tomei's case--just to explore her exhibitionistic tendencies as she did in The Wrestler.

The growing number of celebrity sex tapes out there are laying (pardon the pun) the groundwork for established actors to someday do the real thing in a serious film. When that happens, the last vestiges of let's pretend will be stripped away, and films will be as real life as anything you can imagine. And we'll shrug our shoulders, because the envelope keeps getting pushed farther and farther in the name of the almighty dollar.

GRADE: B +

NEVER LET ME GO--2010

2011-05-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: Carey Mulligan, Andrew Garfield, Keira Knightly, Charlotte Rampling

Director: Mark Romanek

Genre: Sci-fi/drama

Adapted from the novel by Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go is a disturbing, yet poignant film set in an alternate world of the mid to late 20th century where, in human terms, the sum is worth less than its parts. The average life span has been extended to more than a hundred years, due largely to the existence of human clones who are born and bred for the specific purpose of donating their vital organs to others--sacrificing themselves for the greater good of humanity.

Ayn Rand would have a conniption.

The story line picks up at a British boarding school called Halisham. (Charlotte Rampling, who in younger days appeared naked in most of her films, shifts gears as the staid headmistress, Miss Emily.) The children there appear to be clueless about their purpose in life, until a compassionate teacher clues them in, and is subsequently fired for doing so. What I found most disturbing were the children's reactions. They do not protest. They do not run screaming for the gates. It's as if a child were told by his parents that he is being groomed to be a doctor when he grows up, and this is really what we want you to become, so under such pressure, the child accedes.

As young adults, The "donors"" are allowed to live their lives in something of a normal fashion-- until their first appointment comes due. The clones usually expire after the second or third donation because really, how many vital organs can a body get along without? This is referred to as "completion." (The euphemisms seem more relevant to present day political correctness, rather than to any bygone era.) We get the chilling sense that if the clones were to rebel against their fate, measures would be taken. But still...

The story follows three of the clones from childhood, through adolescence, and into young adulthood. There is Kathy, (Carey Mulligan) Tommy, (Andrew Garfield) and Ruth (Keira Knightly.) A romantic triangle among them shows that they are obviously human. They have emotions. They fall in love. Yet, some of the "normal" people around them speculate as to whether or not they have souls. The parallels with real life that Never Let Me Go invokes are cause for introspection. In the past, some of us humans have viewed those of certain other cultures that appear alien to us (indeed, we refer to them as aliens) due to race, customs, religious or political differences, as almost sub-human--giving us the green light to conquer, subjugate, and do with them what we will. The most infamous example of this in recent history was called The Holocaust.

And yet, the thought occurs that a possible future world could look eerily similar to the one in the movie.

The mood of this film, so achingly melancholy to begin with , is furthered along by the elegant, haunting soundtrack from Rachel Portman.

Never Let Me Go is a movie that will stay with me for a long time.

Fate is not fate unless you are willing to accept it.

Grade: A

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS--2011

2011-05-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Christopher Waltz, Hal Holbrook

Director: Francis Lawrence

Genre: Drama

The stage is set for high melodrama in the film adaptation of Sara Gruen's bestselling novel, Water For Elephants.

Told in flashback mode, a ninety-something guy named Jacob (Hal Holbrook) relates the story of his youthful exploits in the circus back in the Great Depression of the 1930s. The young Jacob (Robert Pattinson) is one exam away from graduating from veterinary school, when a family tragedy sets his life off-kilter and alters his destiny. He hooks up with a marginally run circus and learns to roll with the punches (literally) of life under the big top.

A little fudging of the truth gets him hired on as the outfit's veterinarian, by the (as we will see) amoral and sadistic ringmaster, August (Christopher Waltz). August treats his animals and his wife, Marlena, (Reese Witherspoon) with the same heavy hand. The Harlow-esque Marlena is steamy, and just low-brow enough to have been attracted to someone like August in the first place. But she has compassion for the animals, and a forbidden attraction between her and Jacob begins to develop.

Enter Rosie--a highly trained elephant who may be the most talented performer of this entire cast. August needs a new starring act to keep his near-failing operation going, and Rosie fills the bill in playful and adorable fashion. But August's methods of keeping Rosie in line are abusive, and hard to watch (even though we know the animal's not really being beaten for the movie--and I sat through all of the credits at the end just to see the statement that the animal action was monitored by the American Humane Association, and no animals were harmed during filming). What ensues is a roaringly dramatic climax to Water For Elephants that was easy to see coming, but that made it no less satisfying when it arrived. We can think of it as "poetic justice."

There is an amazing scene of chaos near the end where animals and people are stampeding every which way--an astonishing bit of choreography--and I'm still in awe of how they pulled it off!

Christopher Waltz (Inglourious Basterds) brings some depth to the character of August, to the point of where we can ALMOST dredge up some sympathy for the poor deranged bastard (spelled the correct way!)

Reese Witherspoon, who has that naturally wholesome looking face, shows us another side with her somewhat jaded, been-around-the-block Marlena.

The Most Wholesome award here goes to Pattinson, convincing enough as the fresh-faced good guy who tries to do the right thing in some emotionally charged situations.

While Water For Elephants is set in the thirties, I think you should know that circus animals are cruelly mistreated even today, and if you're a fan of the circus, I hope you will THINK about the price these wild animals pay--not the least of which is the loss of their freedom and dignity--just for the sake of providing circus entrepreneurs a living, and to give you a couple of hours of diversionary entertainment. If you think I'm exaggerating, I can direct you to plenty of web sites that contain actual photos and explanations of what goes on. I also encourage you to support some of the cruelty-free circuses, which feature human acts only--an increasing trend as awareness of the sad truth about animal-act circuses continues to grow.

Grade: A -

127 HOURS--2010

2011-05-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

Rated: R

Stars: James Franco, Clemence Poesy, Kate Mara, Amber Tamblyn

Director: Danny Boyle

Genre: Drama/Biographical Adventure

The trouble with loners is that when they get into trouble, they are usually alone. That's what led to Aron Ralston's bizarre, real life struggle for survival out in the wilds of Utah's Bluejohn Canyon. Dude falls into a deep crevasse...this big-ass boulder tumbles down and pins his arm...can't get it loose...out of food and water after five days stuck like that...he is faced with a literal do or die decision. Everyone knows the story.

The challenge for director Danny Boyle was how to make a compelling, standard length (about an hour and a half) feature film out of this situation. Even before I saw 127 Hours, I knew that he would succeed because, hey--he's DANNY BOYLE! (Slumdog Millionaire, Trainspotting.)

Boyle uses flashbacks interspersed with the present-time mind f*ck Ralston's ordeal is putting him through--from the initial incredulity at his predicament, to the physical struggle to free himself, (whole) to going a little cuckoo and performing for an imaginary audience while his video camera records it as his possible farewell to the world, his family, and anyone who should stumble across his carcass. Meanwhile, we sit there wondering if WE would have the stones--or the stomach--to cut through the natural revulsion we would feel and do what he ultimately did in a last-ditch effort to save himself. The realization that everything that occurred previously in his life had been leading him to this one self-defining moment, was for me the most powerful element of 127 Hours.

The survival instinct must never be underestimated.

James Franco received an academy award nomination for his portrayal of Ralston--a gung-ho guy with too much confidence in himself for his own good--and he deserved it. DAMN-- this kid is a good actor !!!

Indian film composer A. R. Rahman, with two Academy Awards in his pocket from Slumdog Millionaire, again teams up with Danny Boyle--and it's as if Boyle told him: SURPRISE ME ! Given the subject matter, the surprises-- which include a song by Dido--hit with an OOH and an AHH, and brought a smile to my face at how compellingly apropos they were after all.

The gruesome part of 127 Hours is minimal, though you still might want to look away at certain moments, depending on how much of that jumbo size popcorn you've already gobbled. Be thoughtful of those around you and don't bring that up again.

GRADE: A-

THE LOVE BOAT--REVISITED

2011-04-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

Hey, you starry-eyed... glassy-eyed...cross-eyed romantics ! The entire nine year run (1977-1986) of the smash-hit TV series The Love Boat is out on DVD, and I've just finished reliving season one!

Okay...you either love it, or you despise it, but take another look at the masthead of this blog and you'll notice that I'm an incurable romantic, so The Love Boat has always held a special place in my heart. Television's most affable cast of all time featured Gavin MacLeod as Captain Stubing; Bernie Kopell as Doc ; future congressman Fred Grandy as Gopher ; Ted Lange as Isaac the bartender; and a coked-up (by her own admission) Lauren Tewes as Julie the cruise director.

More than any other show, The Love Boat exemplified that old cliche that it's not the destination, but the journey, as each week they would set sail for some romantic locale, but the real action always occurred on board. When you find a formula that works--like Coke, (not the kind that Lauren Tewes was ingesting) you stick with it. Each episode featured three concurrent story lines--normally one that was serious, one that was cute/funny, and one romantic. The crew did no work to speak of, instead they hung out with and often got romantically involved with the passengers--which must be a serious no-no for cruise employees in the real world, but we're talking pure fantasy here.

The characters were stereotypical, and the acting was often wooden--but the dialogue was snappy and funny, and two or three big-name stars were on board for each episode, including the likes of: Milton Berle, Florence Henderson, (and her annoying screeching) Tom Hanks, Suzanne Somers, Telly Savalas, Ava Gabor, Phil Silvers, Jane Curtain, Leslie Nielsen, (in an uncharacteristic serious role) and even Anson Williams as a PRIEST--of all the ungodly things !

In the interest of full disclosure, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that one of the things that endeared The Love Boat to me was that, at least during the early episodes, many of the women on the show were sans bras--as was the fashion during the seventies--adding a "titillating" aspect that you won't find on today's network TV shows ! (And refreshingly, NO IMPLANTS.)

What REALLY made The Love Boat was the buoyant theme song, written by the great Paul Williams, and sung by Jack Jones. Some instrumental variation of the theme underscores the action throughout each episode, and it's totally invigorating--propelling us incurable romantics into a dreamy vision of a world where all things are possible.

So relive the PASSION...relive the ROMANCE...relive the PECULIAR LOOKING HAIRSTYLES... and come aboard--we're expecting you !

LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS--2010

2011-04-07T11:17:00.000-07:00

Rated : R

Stars: Anne Hathaway, Jake Gyllenhaal

Director: Edward Zwick

Genre: drama/comedy/romance

Okay, so the obvious selling point of Love and Other Drugs--based on Jamie Reidy's memoir: Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman-- is Anne Hathaway in the altogether. Which is altogether not a bad reason to watch, even if you don't like anything else about the movie. But I think you will.

Jamie (Jake Gyllenhall) is a hotshot drug rep for Pfizer during the mid nineties. He accosts doctors in parking lots, or, with a mixture of sexual charm and bravado, cons his way past their receptionists to slip his anti-depressant samples onto the ol' docs shelves. It's all a game--played much in the manner of Washington lobbyists who wield their influence over our lawmakers--to get the MDs to prescribe his drugs over some other rep's drugs.

Jamie bribes one of the docs to take him on as an "intern," and subsequently gets to be in the room when Maggie, (Anne Hathaway) a young woman dealing with premature onset Parkinson's disease, takes her boob out for a quick inspection. You know right there that this is the beginning of a budding romance.

Jake and Maggie begin a sex only relationship, because she is the type who won't allow anyone to love her because she perceives complications down the line due to her medical condition. But all that sex (and Hathaway is as believably real in the bedroom as she is anyplace else) brings them to the brink of wanting something deeper, but not letting on that they want something deeper, because that might spoil the party. It's your classic boy-gets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-has-to-fight-to-get-girl-back tale. And even though Love and Other Drugs is a drama, there are some choice comic moments as well--especially when Jake gets the go ahead to promote Viagra, the new wonder drug that's "lifting the spirits" of men everywhere !

Love and Other Drugs is also an indictment of a system that uses MDs as the middle-men--glorified drug pushers if you will-- to turn us into a nation of addicts and reap enormous profits for the pharmaceutical companies. That's why every other commercial on TV now exhorts you to "ask your doctor" about the benefits of some prescription drug with a laundry list of side-effects (like death) that are way worse than the condition you'd be treating. (And every day the lawyers are on there drumming up business from clients whose lives have been devastated by Accutane, or some other dangerous product that never should have been approved in the first place.) But our nation of zombies--especially vulnerable seniors-- keeps on popping those pills by the handful. If that isn't shameful enough, look at what they've done--in collaboration with the school system--to our hyperactive kids.

End of rant.

There's plenty of sex and lots of drugs in Love and Other Drugs...the only thing missing for baby boomers is the rock n roll. Play the movie, then go put on the Stones...and you'll feel complete.

Grade: B +

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU--2011

2011-03-05T05:53:00.000-08:00

Rated PG-13

Stars: Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, Terence Stamp

Director: George Nolfi

Genre: Sci-fi/fantasy/romance

Do we live by fate or free will? Always a good topic to start a philosophical discussion--and no doubt many are ablazing as we speak, following the opening of The Adjustment Bureau.

A couple in hot monkey love must deal with unrelenting interference from those who disapprove of their union. Sound familiar? But it's not family members who want to break them up. No, look higher...you're getting warm...higher still...THERE YOU GO...it's none other than the BIG GUY! And God--referred to by his operatives, or angels (using the term loosely because one of them likes to shout SONOFABITCH a lot) here on earth as "The Chairman," has an agenda. A Master Plan as it were. The angels' mission is to enforce the plan by placing roadblocks in the couple's path at every turn. Of course, from our lowly vantage point we can't decipher what that plan--or the reason for it--is. We only know that He/She thinks that if promising congressman David Norris (Matt Damon) ends up with talented dancer Elise, (Emily Blunt) it will deal a death blow to both of their lofty ambitions. And when David is made aware of this, he must decide whether to go with his heart and pursue the relationship at all costs, or sadly and reluctantly back off and allow fate to run its course.

Ever have a chance encounter with someone and become instantly taken with them? David and Elise meet in a men's restroom where she is hiding out (don't ask). He is startled to find her there, but after a bit of small talk, they throw themselves at each other and engage in a passionate kiss! They are interrupted and he loses track of her, until one day he runs into her on a bus. She writes down her phone number, but the angels--who all wear business suits and fedoras--kidnap David and steal the number from his wallet and burn it in front of him. This is the kind of stuff they do, because apparently when you take on a human body, you don't have to be nice to people anymore. (And that explains a lot about certain women I dated...but I digress).

Three years pass before David finds Elise again, and when the "Adjustment Bureau" gets wind of it, they go into action to thwart the budding romance again. At some point, the couple have no choice but to go on the run and try to fight the system with the help of angel Harry, (Anthony Mackie) who becomes sympathetic to their plight. Fans of The Graduate will find the buildup to the climax of The Adjustment Bureau to be giddily familiar.

Emily Blunt as Elise is stunning, in ways that transcend mere physical attractiveness, and therefore deftly cast as the kind of woman for whom a man would give up everything.

Matt Damon seems to be at his best when his character is caught up in a web of intrigue and has to use all of his wits and resourcefulness to survive, and he is re-Bourne into a similar identity here.

George Nolfi, co-writer of The Bourne Ultimatum, has caught lightning in a bottle in his directorial debut.

The Adjustment Bureau is one of the freshest, just-go-along-for-the-ride surprises to come along in some time. And it will give you plenty of food for thought if you've ever felt you were absolutely MEANT to be with someone. Wing your way down to the theater and catch it!

Grade: A -

YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER--2010

2011-03-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Gemma Jones, Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Antonio Banderas, Lucy Punch, Freida Pinto

Director: Woody Allen

Genre: Drama/comedy

There are no single, lonely people at the beginning of Woody Allen's You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger-- just married and lonely people--ready and ripe to fall under someone else's spell and rekindle the fire of romance that all too quickly peters out in the day to day reality of monogamous "bliss."

Helena (Gemma Jones) is a ditzy old gal who has been divorced by Alfie, (Anthony Hopkins) and now she's seeing a "fortune teller" who tells her just what she wants to hear. Alfie falls for a young opportunistic prostitute named Charmaine, (Lucy Punch) who likes the finer things in life that he can provide her--as long as his money holds out! Alfie and Helena's daughter Sally (Naomi Watts) is married to once promising--but now frustrated--writer Roy, (Josh Brolin) who has an eye for the exotic young guitar player in the window across the way, Dia (Freida Pinto from Slumdog Millionaire). Sally, who works at a high-profile art gallery, develops a thing for her boss, Greg (Antonio Banderas).

But are they all delusional?

In You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger, Woody Allen is exploring the idea of faith, or more accurately, the tendency that many of us have to want to believe in something--often another person--to the point where we are willing to believe only what we want to believe, and don't confuse us with the facts.

Woody's endearing (at least to me) brand of cynicism tinged with irony is all over this one--his fourth in a row set in London--but the sense that he is literally speaking through his characters, so apparent in some previous films, (I could close my eyes and hear his voice, even through his female characters, which was freaky) isn't present here--perhaps refreshingly so.

Quite an impressive cast he's assembled--and Gemma Jones is a hoot as Helena, who goes on ad nauseam about reincarnation as if she'd never heard of the concept before... happy as a clam because her psychic has told her she has lived before and will live again. (Not everyone--the Buddhists for example--are pleased about that wheel turning round and round and going back, Jack, and doing it again!)

But it's Lucy Punch as Charmaine--the happy hooker supposedly gone straight who is now Alfie's wife-- still playing him for all he's worth while maintaining an air of bewildered innocence, even when he catches her in the act with some young buck, who upstages them all.

Anthony Hopkins, who I never thought was very scary as Hannibal Lecter, is more believably cast as a guy who's extending his mid-life crisis--and all the delusional flamboyance that goes along with that-- into his golden years.

And there's a delicious twist at the end of You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger that reinforces Woody Allen's philosophical bent that oft-times you can't win for losing.

GRADE: B

KNIGHT AND DAY--2010

2011-02-21T14:56:00.000-08:00

Rated Pg-13

Stars: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Paul Dano

Director: James Mangold

Genre: Action-Adventure/Comedy

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz have explosive chemistry, you might say, in Knight And Day--a formula action flick which pretty much amounts to one big, wild shootout spree, with a few exotic locales thrown in to try to put a pretty face on all that death and destruction.

Cruise is Roy Miller, a rogue CIA agent who is playing caretaker to boy genius Simon Feck, (Paul Dano) who has invented a battery--referred to as the Zephyr-which never runs down ( it keeps going, and going, and...). This, of course, could change the world, (not to mention the lives of all parents with little kids, especially on Christmas morning) so a bunch of bad dudes from the government as well as a Spanish arms dealer are after Miller and Feck, so they can get the battery and become all powerful and rich (ERRRRHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) The baddies, of course, are willing to kill whomever they need to, to get their hands on said battery, and Miller is willing to kill all of the baddies--and he does, in those endless shootout scenes--where, like every action movie hero, he gets fired at hundreds of times, but never gets hit by the traveling GANG THAT COULDN'T SHOOT STRAIGHT that is also in every similarly themed movie.

Cameron Diaz is June Havens, the clueless twit who falls in with Miller when they share a plane flight. The budding romance between the two of them occurs, literally, between extended bursts of gunfire. At one point, Miller shoots a guy and June responds by saying I FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX! We're not supposed to take seriously that only a highly disturbed person in real life would say that under those circumstances, nor should we take any note that neither of these characters feels the slightest bit of revulsion or regret about taking lives as the bodies pile up--they just breeze along in their cavalier way with their witty TV sitcom dialogue.

At one point, June shouts: STOP THE SHOOTING...PLEASE STOP THE SHOOTING! She can't hear herself think, you see. Yes, Knight And Day is a romp--cute and clever in its way--with incredible action scenes, though it relies a bit too heavily on CGI...but seriously, when ARE they going to stop the shooting? Why do films like Knight And Day, and Salt, and all the others that have essentially reduced mindless violence to a video game, continue to get made? I'm the last dude who would advocate censorship, but we need to stop and ask ourselves WHY--in the good ol' USA--are we obsessed with this kind of crap? Are we so tense, angry, and frustrated as a people that we need this to give us some kind of release? Maybe so, or there might be more Jared Laughners being spawned than there already are.

Decadence glossed over...and the beat goes on.

GRADE: C

THE TOWN--2010

2011-02-09T07:23:00.000-08:00

Rated R--primarily for language and violence

Stars: Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Blake Lively

Director: Written and directed by Ben Affleck

Genre: Action/Adventure/Thriller

Four friends who grew up in Charlestown--a Boston area neighborhood known for having the highest rate of bank and armored car stick-ups in the U.S.--resort to (what else?) robbing banks and armored cars! You can tell these guys are thugs because they speak THUG-ESE, which is basically cussing and F-bombs as every other word, spoken in that New England accent that is not your higher class accent--like the Kennedys spoke--but your lower class accent that is most notable with Ben Affleck's character, Doug MacRay, who looks and sounds a lot like Adam Sandler on Valium.

These are not sympathetic Robin Hood type characters--they have no qualms about terrorizing and beating the crap out of bank employees--but give them credit for being creative, as they make their hits wearing these Halloween masks and costumes, my favorite being the nuns with grotesque faces that you've no doubt seen in the trailer (the movie trailer--not your trailer--though you may have seen the movie trailer in your trailer) . They will keep upping the ante, successively pulling off bigger and more complicated--and dangerous-- jobs, as if they think they will never get caught. They may be creative, but they're not too bright.

Anyhoo, on this one bank heist they take attractive bank manager, Claire Keesey (the attractive Rebecca Hall) hostage, but later release her. Later on, Doug wants to follow up and see how much of a threat she might be to them, so he "accidentally" runs into her at a laundromat (an opportunity for him to launder some of his ill-gotten cash there, I mused). Claire, of course, doesn't recognize him. Doug is held captive (pardon the pun) by her charms, and even though she's been suffering traumatic stress from her ordeal, she immediately starts up a relationship with him. You'd think she'd be a little more wary of strangers at this point, so this part didn't ring true for me.

Many a man has been undone by getting distracted from his objective by a woman, and the remainder of The Town centers on the familiar plot of bad guy trying to go straight and turn his life around and build a future with the apple of his eye. But there are enormous pressures on MacRay to participate in one last job--trying to pull of a huge heist of Fenway Park during a ball game, of all the ridiculous things! (There is also enormous pressure on you--the viewer--to begin to sympathize with the character of Doug MacRay...hmmm...which way will you lean?)

Will any of these guys make a clean getaway with the entire Boston police force and the FBI closing in on them?

The shoot-'em-up, crash-'em-up escape scenes in The Town are edge-of-your-seat thrilling-- some of the best you'll ever see--and they make up, in large part, for the implausibility of the plot, as you forget about all that and just hang on for the ride!

As mastermind of The Town--and with a talented ensemble cast--writer/director/star Ben Affleck has pulled off a pretty big job here.

Grade: B

SALT--2010

2011-01-30T14:46:00.000-08:00

(PG-13 theatrical release, unrated director's cut, and unrated extended cut on DVD.)

Stars: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor

Director: Philip Noyce

Genre: Action/Thriller

Angelina Jolie stars as CIA agent Evelyn Salt, who goes on the run when she is suspected of being a Russian sleeper spy. As if we didn't have enough enemies around the globe these days, Salt dredges up the cold war again--an unintentional (you'd think) spoof of the old James Bond versus the Evil Genius bent on taking over, or destroying the world... whichever comes first.

Agent Salt karate chops her way through scores of big, heavily armed men--half a dozen at a time--as if they are so wimpy they can't take a punch from a 120 pound woman, and just drop to the floor, out cold or dead. (The most blatant kind of patronizing and pandering to the rage-against-men fantasies of the hormonally out of control set!)

Funny...I remember some of those fight scenes in movies like Roadhouse, where dudes are repeatedly getting lambasted in the kisser by 250 POUND GUYS, and they just get back up and keep coming back for more! Weird.

Jolie performs these outrageous stunts--each more humanly impossible than the next-- that a real person would end up as flat-as-a-pancake roadkill if she attempted even one. The movie obviously wants you to take this seriously, otherwise she'd be wearing a mask and a cape. I suppose if you're in the right mood, you can just go with it--willing suspension of disbelief and all that--and I've been slap-happy enough to do that with many films, where it's obvious they're winking at you and asking you to just play along. But there is nothing tongue in cheek here, and to buy into Salt on any kind of serious level, you'd at least need a modicum of believability.

Nearly everything about this film is ridiculous...and naming the main character "Evelyn Salt" should be your first clue.

Grade: D -

I AM LOVE--2010

2011-01-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Tilda Swinton, Flavio Parenti, Edoardo Gabbriellini, Pippo Delbono, Alba Rohwacher

Director: Luca Guadagnino

Genre: Drama

A woman of Russian lineage marries into a wealthy Italian family. Emma (Tilda Swinton) now has grown children, and to outward appearances it seems like a good fit--a life where everything is ordered and meticulously laid out like the seating arrangements and place settings for the birthday gathering to honor the Recchi family patriarch--where we are introduced to the large ensemble cast of I Am Love. But something is missing. We can see it in Emma's eyes, her facial expressions, her body lauguage.

I Am Love is a fill-in-the-blanks, draw your own conclusions kind of movie, where certain questions remain unanswered from the beginning. Emma's young adult son, Edoardo, (Flavio Parenti) loses a race. We are not privy to whether it's a foot race, a bicycle race, or a soap box derby. We only know that he was bested by a young chef named Antonio (Edoardo Gabbriellini) . In a family of so much privilege, the expectation of excellence is the norm. But Edoardo isn't sweating it. There is great camaraderie between the two young men--and maybe something more--which is hinted at but never spelled out. Further speculation is fueled by Edoardo's reaction upon the discovery that his mother has entered into a passionate affair with the young chef. (No surprise that THAT'S what was missing in Emma's life!)

A subplot involves Emma's daughter, Elisabetta, (Alba Rohwacher) who has recently come out of the closet, and is the only one who seems to understand her mother's heart-rending decision in the climactic scene.

I Am Love is like one of those old steam locomotives that chugs along slowly at first, gradually picking up steam and momentum...then suddenly out of control...until the inevitable derailment involving casualties, precipitated by the karma these characters have drawn to themselves. A film that seems to be telling us to follow our instincts, and to go for love--DAMMIT--no matter how inappropriate, destructive, or doomed it may appear to be.

Pay the karma off in installments.

Tilda Swinton shines in this cinematically gorgeous movie--except for women getting their beautiful long hair whacked short--becoming rather plain looking as a result--the usual consequence of a type of capriciousness that often plagues the fair sex.

Grade: A -

THE TOURIST--2010

2011-01-05T10:23:00.000-08:00

Rated: PG-13

Stars: Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Steven Berkoff, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton

Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck

Genre: Romantic Thriller

Who could blame one for thinking that The Tourist might be just another vehicle designed to showcase a couple of mega-stars--Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp--and little else? HOWEVAH...I'm happy to report that was not the case! Here is a film with intrigue, romance, gorgeous scenery, (in addition to Ms. Jolie) and a mesmerizing score from James Newton Howard...so what's not to like? (Okay, there's no skin...live with it!)

In the world of intrigue--as in life--there are assumptions, and there is often a reality that blows our assumptions out of the water. Speaking of water... we're in Venice, where the elegant Elise (Angelina Jolie) is being tailed by agents from Interpol who believe she's getting ready to hook up with her lover, the elusive Alexander Pearce, wanted for ripping off a ton of money from the brutal gangster Reginald Shaw (Steven Berkoff). Previously, when Elise received a note from Pearce instructing her to board a designated train from Paris to Venice and pick out a guy about his build and height to glom onto so as to bamboozle the British agents...there sits the hapless looking Frank Tupelo, (Johnny Depp) a math teacher from Wisconsin, who is immediately taken with Elise...and then taken BY Elise to her fancy hotel suite and...suffice it to say that Frank is now caught up in everything that Elise is caught up in...and WE are caught up in one spellbinding movie!

There are two plot twists in The Tourist that (unless you're Sherlock Holmes) will dispel the major assumptions you've drawn about each of these characters. The one at the end stretches the bounds of believability like the elastic on that one pair of undies you've been wearing now for the last five years. WHO CARES? It's the movies...remember?

Johnny Depp gives what must be the most understated performance of his career, but the reasons for that will fall into place at the end, at which point you'll be able to appreciate it for what it is. (What...you want him to be the swashbuckler every time? Hey--he's run out of eyeliner!)

Jolie, who is about to be inducted into the BIG LIPS AND MOUTH HALL OF FAME (along with Carly Simon, Mick Jagger, Steven Tyler, and Lisa Rinna) is elegant, playful, witty, daring, and self-confident as Elise.

The Tourist was a fun ride that I will likely take again--the second time knowing what I know, and watching for subtle hints in facial expressions that may give more away than what I was able to catch onto the first time around.

Grade: B +

KICK-ASS--2010

2011-01-03T13:09:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Aaron Johnson, Chloe Moretz, Nicholas Cage, Mark Strong

Director: Matthew Vaughn

Genre: Action, Dark Comedy

We've been conditioned to the same formula for comic book superheroes ever since Clark Kent ducked into that phone booth, donned those form-fitting tights, and went out to kick some ass. So when a comic-adaptation film like Kick Ass comes along where this nerdy kid gets a mail-order superhero costume, hits the streets to engage the bad guys, only to discover that he has no latent super-normal abilities and is running only on bravado--and, of course, sheer stupidity--we keep expecting SOMETHING to kick in to give him an edge when some truly bad dudes start mopping the floor with his sorry ass. This endears him to us all the more, because he's just like most of us everyday stiffs who are trying to live an honorable life and are appalled by some of the stuff that goes down in the world (only his cojones are bigger than most!)

When his exploits make the headlines, Kick Ass--which is what hapless teen Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) has dubbed his alter-ego-- spawns a couple of more effective caped crusaders in the dad/daughter duo of Hit Girl, (Chloe Moretz) and her somewhat off-kilter father, Big Daddy, (Nicholas Cage) who come to bail Kick-Ass out when he has drawn the attention and the ire of ruthless crime syndicate boss Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong).

The violence and the splatter-gore of Kick-Ass (based on the comic by Mark Millar) can only be described as cartoonish--it's so over the top it makes Sam Peckinpah look like Walt Disney, and can't be taken seriously. And yet, one could make a case that it's just one more milestone on the to-hell-in-a-hand-basket road of numbness and moral decay our society is headed down.

Another controversy-sparking milestone in Kick-Ass has to be what comes out of 11-year old Chloe Moretz's mouth--and yet she's adorable as Hit Girl, even when the F-bombs and other choice epithets begin to fly. After a while it occurred to me that yeah, that IS the way eleven-year olds (and younger) talk. Anyone who doesn't believe it hasn't listened to the kids who pile off the school bus in front of my house on a daily basis.

Despite all that, Kick-Ass is a movie that will bring out the latent superhero in you...all you'll have to do is decide which silly looking costume to wear.

Grade: B +

BLACK SWAN--2010

2010-12-29T14:14:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Natalie Portman, Vincent Cassell, Mila Kunis, Barbara Hershey, Winona Ryder

Director: Darren Aronofsky

Genre: Psychological drama

A promising young ballerina on an irrational quest for perfection inexorably descends into fantasy and madness in Black Swan. And who or what is responsible for Nina's (Natalie Portman) tenuous hold on reality? Is it her manipulative, controlling mother(Barbara Hershey) ; the demands of a highly competitive (and cutthroat) profession that eats 'em up and spits 'em out with no remorse; or could it just be the silliness of dancing in that punishing and unnatural way that drives young women crazy?

We see every shift on Ms. Portman's emotionally expressive face--and that's because the camera is IN her face for most of the dancing shots, so as not to show the footwork of an actress who obviously is not a professional ballerina, though she did have some extensive training in preparation for the role. It always irks me a bit when you see the star in the close ups and then the stand in doing the more complicated moves when the camera pulls back, and it's really transparent that this is what is occurring.

But other than the aforementioned little bugaboo, Black Swan--billed as a "psycho-sexual thriller"-- is one that will keep you on your toes throughout. Is it a psychological drama? Horror flick? Erotic thriller? Hallucinatory fantasy? It's all that and a bag of chips, and a near masterpiece to boot.

Portman gives a heady performance as the driven, tightly wound Nina. Other notable renderings come from: Mila Kunis, as Nina's sexually provocative rival and nemesis. Vincent Cassell--the smoldering, unorthodox ballet director (he uses sexual harassment to motivate his dancers to "loosen up"). Barbara Hershey as Nina's creepy, controlling stage mother. And Winona Ryder as an aging star who is involuntarily being put out to pasture.

Director Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler) knows how to ratchet up the intensity increment by increment, leading to a fervent climax the likes of which you normally aren't going to experience in a movie theatre (unless you're Pee Wee Herman, of course!) A film that gives new meaning to the phrase: DAMN...MY FEET ARE KILLING ME!

Grade: A-

MOTHER AND CHILD--2009

2010-12-27T09:09:00.000-08:00

Rated: R

Stars: Annette Bening, Naomi Watts, Kerry Washington, Samuel L. Jackson

Director: Rodrigo Garcia

Genre: Drama

Rife with poignant moments and superb performances, Mother and Child follows the interconnected lives of three women: The middle-aged Karen, (Annette Bening) who bore a child at the age of 14 and gave it up for adoption; Her child as an adult, Elizabeth, (Naomi Watts); and Lucy, (Kerry Washington) a young woman anxious to adopt a child.

Annette Bening--who remains one of our most talented actresses--shines as a moody, difficult woman, haunted by her decision lo these many years. Naomi Watts has always been an "anything goes" film presence, (see Mullholland Drive) and she's still willing to bare a lot more than her soul. Her portrayal of a promiscuous, emotionally numb young woman is spot on.

What can sometimes be the emotionally devastating effects of the adoption game may be a bit overplayed here, but Mother and Child is a film with its heart in the right place.

Grade: B +

A LIFE LESS ORDINARY--Retro: 1997 (R)

Stars: Cameron Diaz, Ewan McGregor, Holly Hunter, Delroy Lindo

Director: Danny Boyle

Genre: Dark Comedy

Holly Hunter steals the show as a gun-toting, tobacco juice spitting emissary from heaven who, along with her sidekick, (Delroy Lindo) is on a mission to unite two unlikely bedfellows (Cameron Diaz and Ewan McGregor) in true romance.

Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire) demonstrated his directorial prowess early on in this quirky, high energy romp that seeks to answer the question: IS LOVE MERELY AN EMOTIONAL ADAPTATION TO A PHYSICAL NECESSITY?

Retro Grade: B

Now playing at home:THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE (Rated R)

2010-11-03T15:30:00.000-07:00

STARS: Noomi Rapace, Michael Nyqvist

DIRECTOR: Daniel Alfredson

GENRE: mystery/suspense/thriller

(Two versions on the DVD--In Swedish with subtitles, and dubbed in English version)

Noomi Rapace returns as Lisbeth Salander--the chain-smoking, bisexual computer hacker and butt-kicker in the second installment of Stieg Larsson's Millenium trilogy: The Girl Who Played With Fire.

This time she's being framed for a triple murder--yes, this is a girl who just can't seem to stay out of trouble. We instinctively feel that she didn't do it, because her former investigative journalism partner , Mikael Blomkvist, (Michael Nyqvist) believes in her innocence, and WE believe that he is an all around good guy, dedicated to journalistic ethics and bringing out the truth. (This you will know from seeing the first film: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, also reviewed here. See "Dragon" first, so that certain things about this film will fall into place easier for you.)

But anti-hero that she is, I found myself wondering if the numerous plot twists and turns of this movie (like the first one) might somehow snake back on themselves and point the finger at her anyway, as her prints are on the murder weapon, after all! And she spent time in the looney bin as well...all grist for the police to try to build a case against her. It all ties in with a sex trafficking ring about to be exposed by Blomkvist's publication, Millenium, and the subsequent outing of some high profile dudes who are involved. It's a race against time for Salander to try to clear her name, while Blomkvist goes after the real bad guys-- and there are some intriguing ones, straight out of the old James Bond movies.

Perhaps due to a switch in directors, (Niels Arden Oplev directed "Dragon," while Daniel Alfredson was at the helm for this one)I found The Girl Who Played With Fire to have more of a brooding tone to it than the first film--and I like brooding a lot...you know, when there's a break in the action and one of the main characters is lost in contemplation about her plight, sitting in front of a picture window with a gorgeous view, while some appropriately brooding (defined as to dwell gloomily on a subject) music plays, thanks to Jacob Groth's appealing soundtrack.

The Girl Who Played With Fire is gritty and dark (almost TOO dark--for my tastes-- during some of the sex scenes involving Salander and her female friend...hey, turn up the lights!). But it held my interest, with the expected surprises along the way, (expect the unexpected) leading to a web of corruption and intrigue...kinda like the election we just had here in America!

Noomi Rapace and Michael Nyqvist are two fine actors--and they didn't disappoint here--setting the stage for the third leg of the trilogy: The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest.

GRADE: B

TIMMY'S QUICK REFERENCE MOVIE GUIDE (continually updated)

2010-10-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

5 stars=Excellent/Outstanding

4 stars= Really Good

3 stars= Worth considering

2 stars=Kinda Sucks

1 star=Stinks To High Heaven (take out the garbage!)

FIND SOMETHING GREAT TO WATCH TONIGHT!

Films listed alphabetically--*asterisk beside title indicates full movie review exists in the archives of Timmy's Noodle. Click on the title to see the review.

5 STARS

A Man And A Woman (French/romance)

And Now Ladies And Gentlemen (French/romance)

And Now My Love (French/romance)

Babel (drama)

The April Fools (comedy)

*The Artist (Comedy/drama)
Chinatown (classic/mystery)

*Circumstance (Drama)
*Crazy, Stupid, Love (romantic comedy)

*Don Juan DeMarco (drama)

Duck, You Sucker! (classic/spaghetti western)

Garden State (comedy)

The Graduate (classic/drama)

Groundhog Day (comedy)

Havana (drama)

Heaven Can Wait (classic/comedy)

*Horrible Bosses (dark comedy)

Last Tango In Paris (drama)

Love Me If You Dare (French/drama)

Lost In Translation (drama)

Love Actually (romantic comedy)

Love Affair-- 1994 version (romance)

The Magus (classic/mystery)

Midnight Cowboy (classic/drama)

*The Names of Love
*Never Let Me Go

One Eyed Jacks (classic/western)

The Shining (horror)

Swept Away-the original version (Italian/romance)

*Tuesday, After Christmas
Three Days Of The Condor (espionage)

*Young Adult (Dark comedy/drama)
*Zombieland (horror/dark comedy)

4 STARS

The Accidental Tourist (drama)

*The Adjustment Bureau

All The Real Girls (drama)

*Amelia (drama)

*The American (thriller)

American Pie (coming of age comedy)

Angel-A (French/drama)

Arthur (comedy)

A Serious Man (comedy)

Big (comedy)

*Beyond Rangoon (Action/adventure)

Black Book (Dutch/drama)

*Black Swan (psychological/erotic thriller)

*Blue Valentine (drama)

Body Heat (thriller)

The Bridge (documentary)

Bridget Jones Diary (romantic comedy)

Buffalo '66 (dark comedy)

*Broken Embraces (Spanish/drama)

*Capitalism, A Love Story (documentary)

Carnal Knowledge (classic/drama)

*Cedar Rapids (comedy)

Cinema Paradiso (Italian/drama)

A Clockwork Orange (classic/indescribable!)

Closer (romantic drama)

*Cowboys & Aliens (western/action-adventure/sci-fi)

Crash (drama)

*Crazy Heart (drama)

The Crook (French/thriller)

*The Curious Case of Benjamin Button(adventure/drama)

*District 9 (sci-fi-fantasy)

Duel (classic/mystery)

*Earth (documentary)

Enemy Of The State (thriller)

*Everybody's Fine (drama)

The Exorcist (horror)

The Family Stone (comedy)

5o First Dates (romantic comedy)

Food, Inc. (documentary)

Five Easy Pieces (classic/drama)

Foul Play (comedy)

*Funny People (comedy)

*Gigantic (comedy)

*The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Swedish/thriller)

*Going The Distance (romantic comedy)

The Heartbreak Kid--original version (comedy)

*I Am (documentary)

*I Am Love (drama)

*The Ides of March (drama)

*The Invention Of Lying (comedy)

Klute (classic/drama)

*Kick-Ass (action/dark comedy)

*Knowing (action/adventure)

*Last Chance Harvey (drama)

The Last Picture Show (classic/drama)

Laura (classic/mystery)

Les Uns Et Les Autres (French/drama)

Like Stars On Earth (India/musical)

*The Lincoln Lawyer (drama/mystery-thriller)

*Love And Other Drugs (drama)

*Love In The Time Of Cholera (romance)

*Midnight In Paris (romantic comedy)

The Mirror Has Two Faces (drama)

Moonstruck (romance)

*Mother And Child (drama)

My Dinner With Andre (drama)

My Name Is Nobody (spaghetti western)

*The Notebook (romance)

Notting Hill (romantic comedy)

North By Northwest (classic/thriller)

Once (indie/musical)

*Our Idiot Brother (comedy)

*127 Hours

The Painted Veil (drama)

Paris (French/drama)

Paris Je T'Aime (French/romance)

Paris, Texas (drama)

*Passengers (drama)

Phenomenon (drama)

*Pirate Radio (comedy)

Play Misty For Me (thriller)

*Precious (drama)

*The Proposal (romantic comedy)

*The Quiet American (drama)

Rebbeca (classic/thriller)

Rab Ne Bana Di Jo Di (India/romance)

*Rachel Getting Married (drama)

*The Reader (drama)

Reign Over Me (drama)

Starman (Sci-fi/fantasy)

The Secret In Their Eyes (Spanish/drama)

Serendipity (romantic comedy)

*Serious Moonlight (comedy)

Shortbus (drama)

*Shutter Island (thriller)

Sideways (comedy)

*Sunshine Cleaning (drama)

*Synedoche, New York (dark comedy)

*Taking Woodstock (HIPPIES!)

10 (romantic comedy)

*Tetro (drama)

*The Tourist (romantic thriller)

*Terminator Salvation (sci-fi/action adventure)

*Transformers 2-Revenge Of The Fallen (sci-fi/action adventure)

*Transsiberian (thriller)

The Truth About Cats And Dogs (comedy)

*Two Lovers (drama)

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being (drama)

*Up In The Air (drama)

V For Vendetta (sci-fi/fantasy)

*Vickie Cristina Barcelona (comedy)

Walkabout (classic/drama)

Waltz With Bashir (documentary)

Whatever Works (comedy)

*The Wrestler (drama)

*The Year Of Living Dangerously (drama)

3 STARS

*A Perfect Getaway (thriller)

A Single Man (drama)

A Life Less Ordinary (comedy)

About A Boy (comedy)

Across The Hall (thriller)

*Adventureland (coming of age drama)

Altered States (sci-fi)

*All About Steve (romantic comedy)

American Beauty (drama)

America Pie Presents: The Book Of Love (comedy)

An Education (drama)

An Examined Life (documentary)

*Angels and Demons (thriller)

As Good As It Gets (comedy)

Away We Go (comedy)

Annie Hall (comedy)

Before Sunrise (romance)

The Badge (crime thriller)

The Beguiled (classic/drama)

The Big Chill (classic/drama)

Being John Malkovich (comedy)

Big Daddy (comedy)

Bread And Tulips (Italian/romantic comedy)

*Breezy (romantic drama)

Blue Velvet (mystery)

Boys Don't Cry (drama)

*Bridesmaids (comedy)

Brief Interviews With Hideous Men (romantic comedy)

Broken Flowers (indie/drama)

Bullitt (classic/action)

The Burning Plain (drama)

The Brown Bunny (indie/art house)

Butterflies Are Free (classic/romance)

*Chloe (thriller)

Cop Out (action comedy)

The Cry Of The Owl (thriller)

The Cutting Edge (drama)

*Date Night (comedy)

The Day Of The Jackal (classic/thriller)

Don't Look Down (Spanish/romance)

The Dreamers (drama)

Duplicity (thriller)

Easier With Practice (indie/ drama)

Edge Of Darkness (thriller)

Fargo (drama)

Feast Of Love (drama)

*(500) Days Of Summer (comedy)

*Forgetting Sarah Marshall (romantic comedy)

*Frozen River (drama)

*Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (romantic comedy)

*The Girl Who Played With Fire (thriller)

The Good Life (indie/drama)

Good Night And Good Luck (drama)

Greenberg (drama)

Hannah And Her Sisters (comedy)

Happy Accidents (comedy)

Hitch (romance)

*Hot Tub Time Machine (comedy)

*I Love You, Beth Cooper (comedy)

*I Love You, Man (comedy)

In The Cut (thriller/Meg Ryan nekkid!)

*Inception (sci-fi/thriller)

Kids (drama)

La Bonne Annee (French/comedy)

The Lake House (romance)

Lake Tahoe (Spanish/drama)

The Last Days Of Disco (indie/drama)

The Last House On The Left--updated version (horror)

The Last King Of Scotland (drama)

Leap Year (comedy)

Les Miserables (French/drama)

The Limits Of Control (thriller)

Manhattan (comedy)

*Margot At The Wedding (Indie/dark comedy)

Match Point (drama)

*Melancholia (sci-fi/fantasy)
Meet The Fockers (comedy)

Moon (sci-fi thriller)

The Mystery Of Pittsburgh (drama)

Marathon Man (classic/thriller)

*My Life In Ruins (comedy)

New York, I Love You (drama)

The Night Porter (drama)

Nothing Like The Holidays (comedy)

Once Upon A Time In Rio (Spanish/drama)

Ondine (fantasy/drama)

Out Of Africa(classic/drama)

*Peacock (drama)

*Powder Blue (drama)

The Prince Of Tides (drama)

*Revolutionary Road (drama)ad

*The Rum Diary (action-adventure/comedy)

*17 Again (comedy)

*Sex And The City--The Movie (comedy)

*Sex And The City 2 (comedy)

Shrink (indie/drama)

The Sixth Sense (thriller)

Sin Nombre (Spanish/drama)

Solitary Man (drama)

*Splice (sci-fi/thrilleer)

*Spread (comedy)

Stealing Beauty (romantic comedy)

*Surrogates (sci-fi/fantasy)

Swimming Pool (British/thriller)

Table For Three (comedy)

*The Town(action/thriller)

Taxi Driver (drama)

*Transformers--Revenge Of The Fallen (sci-fi/fantasy)

The Trouble With Romance (indie/comedy)

Two For The Road (classic/romance)

Vanilla Sky (thriller)

Westworld (classic/thriller)

What Happens In Vegas (comedy)

What Women Want (romantic comedy)

The Women (comedy)

*Yes Man (romantic comedy)

*You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger(drama/comedy)

Y Tu Mama Tambien (Spanish/drama)

2 STARS

Abduction (action-adventure)

The Answer Man (comedy)

Bizarre (horror)

Claire's Knee (French/arthouse)

*Did You Hear About The Morgans? (comedy)

Elegy (drama)

Frontier Of Dawn (French/romance)

Into Temptation(drama)

I Know Who Killed Me (thriller)

*Gran Torino (drama)

*Harry Brown (thriller)

*Knight And Day (Action/adventure)

Leaving Barstow (drama)

*Legion (thriller)

Mama Mia! (musical)

Medicine For Melancholy (drama)

The Merry Gentleman (drama)

Miss Congeniality (comedy)

Mulholland Drive (drama)

*Nights In Rodanthe (drama)

*New Years Eve (romantic comedy)
Night Train (thriller)

Pandorum (sci-fi/fantasy)

The Passion Of The Christ (drama)

*Seven Pounds

Shuttle (thriller)

Sister Act (comedy)

*Star Trek (sci-fi/fantasy)

Sweet Home Alabama (comedy)

*The Time Traveler's Wife (drama)

Twister (action/adventure)

*2012 (action/adventure)

*The Ugly Truth (romantic comedy)

Water Lilies (French/romance)

*Wendy And Lucy (drama)

*Whiteout (thriller)

1 Star

Coyote Ugly (drama/the title speaks for itself)

The Killer Inside Me (drama/the stupidest ending ever committed to film)

Mondo Cane (ritual animal slaughter/ the worst movie I've ever seen)

Lying (drama/this sucks, no lie)

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed And Fabulous (comedy/everybody involved mailed it in)

Solaris (sci-fi/fantasy/ just lousy in a general way)

Touched (drama/can't remember anything else about it, luckily)

*When In Rome (romantic comedy/silly, unoriginal, not funny)

The Weather Underground (jumbled, incoherent mess)

*Salt (action/thriller/ ridiculous, superhuman stunts "performed" by Angelina Jolie that could only be done by Superman on a good day)

GOING THE DISTANCE (rated R)

2010-09-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

Stars: Drew Barrymore, Justin Long, Christina Applegate, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Jim Gaffigan

Director: Nanette Burnstein

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Going the distance means doing whatever it takes in order to accomplish your goal--such as when you're in your car and you urgently need to find a restroom--sometimes going miles out of your way as a result of this desperate need. Going The Distance is a romantic comedy about the desperate need of long-distance lovers to be together.

Erin (Drew Barrymore) is an intern with a New York city newspaper. Garrett (Justin Long) works in the record industry. They meet at a bar and subsequently develop a love relationship. (Because everybody knows that a bar is the kind of place where you'll meet that quality person you'll want to spend the rest of your life with!) But Erin is moving back to San Francisco to go to college, leaving Garrett to pine away for her in New York.

The long-distance relationship begins, and when Garrett flies out to the west coast, he meets Erin's sister, Corrine, (Christina Applegate) and her dimwit hubby, Phil, (Jim Gaffigan) neither of whom are especially enamored with him. But love survives, and Erin finds herself back in New York, trying to get it on in Garret's bedroom while his whacked-out roommate is orchestrating the couple's tryst by playing what he considers appropriate theme music through the wall.

But distance eventually puts a strain on any relationship, and things begin to sour when the lovers face the reality that one of them will have to give up his or her life as it is and move to where the other resides.

Going The Distance has lots going for it--including a great supporting cast. Garrett's buddies (Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis) are creatively foul-mouthed and goofy, and a good share of the laughs in this film come as a result of their antics. On the distaff side, Christina Applegate is refreshingly lewd in her sisterly banter with Erin ( always nice to see an actress you've originally noticed in some inane TV sitcom completely shedding that image and just letting the gutter talk fly). In fact, once or twice I found myself thinking WHOA--did they REALLY say that? The dialogue (crisp, but seldom clean) hits new heights for an R-rated film on the potty-mouth meter.

The pacing of Going The Distance is euphoria inducing, buoyed by a lilting soundtrack that features one of my all-time favorite songs: "Don't Get Me Wrong" by the Pretenders--and, perhaps, the best editing job I've seen. It moves seamlessly from scene to scene with a homogeneous momentum. (Eat, Pray, Love film editor, take note!)

A bit where Garrett goes to one of those spray-on tan places in preparation for his trip to the west coast--fumbling about inside the cubicle, holding onto his privates, (for some odd reason...why shouldn't they be tan too?) and getting sprayed in the eye, induces a laugh-and shake-your-head-at-the-same-time reaction. An awkward attempt at long-distance phone sex is silly-- but funny/silly--compounding the sense of frustration the lovers feel about their predicament.

Romantic comedy equals formulaic plot, but I was enjoying this movie to the point of where I didn't think much about making any big deductions for that.

GRADE: B +

Now playing at home: HARRY BROWN (Rated R)

2010-09-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

Stars: Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Charlie Creed-Miles, Ben Drew

Director: Daniel Barber

Genre: Action/Thriller

Not far back I wrote that Michael Caine was one of a select group of actors that I would go to watch, even if his movie sucked. I've followed up on that statement by viewing Harry Brown, a film as violent, cynical, and mean as they come.

Caine plays Harry Brown, an elderly widower and ex-marine. When his old compadre Leonard (David Bradley) is slain by young London street thugs, he turns into a British version of Clint Eastwood's vengeful character of Walt in Gran Torino, with a little Dirty Harry mixed in. Harry goes on a vigilante rampage --trying to find the punk who did the deed--blowing away anyone who gets in his way. The once mild-mannered pensioner becomes as cold-blooded as his adversaries, and that's the tragedy of the eye-for-an-eye ethos--it brings everyone down to a sub-human level.

Caine is superb in his portrayal of a man who slowly (and chillingly) morphs from average, look-the-other-way citizen into a calculating and relentless force to be reckoned with, despite his advanced age. The drug-addicted low lifes he's dealing with put the sadistic delinquents from A Clockwork Orange to shame. They rule the streets, as the police are portrayed as lamebrained, wimpy, and ineffective-- the one exception being the talented Emily Mortimer in an understated performance as the police detective who begins to sniff Harry out when the bodies start piling up.

Harry Brown will appeal to the vigilante justice crowd--feeding into the frustration ordinary folks feel about a world seemingly out of control (an erroneous perception fueled by the media).

Technically, the film is well done, but there is no subtlety in its uncompromising message. Dirty Harry did it with more panache, and the old spaghetti westerns did it with more style and imagination.

GRADE: C-

2010-09-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

SCROLL DOWN FOR LATEST REVIEWS:

The American

Eat, Pray, Love

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Chloe

Inception

THE AMERICAN (rated R)

2010-09-03T07:29:00.000-07:00

Stars: George Clooney, Thekla Reuten, Paolo Bonacelli, Violante Placido, Johan Leysen

Director: Anton Corbijn

Genre: Thriller

Not your normal Hollywood fare, The American grabs hold of you with one of the most startling opening scenes you're ever likely to see. And then the movie becomes brooding and introspective, but we've been put on notice of the kind of thing that can--and will be expected--to happen again. We're just waiting to see who, how, what, when and where.

George Clooney is Jack, a hired assassin. We don't know who he's working for, other than the weathered dude (Johan Leysen) who gives him instructions over the phone. Other assassins are after him, trying to knock him off before he can knock them off--kinda like the old Mad Magazine's Spy Vs Spy. We don't know who they're working for either...CIA? KGB? Or just some murderous SOB? This uncertainty has the effect of bringing all events into the immediacy of the NOW--which is where, ideally, life should be lived anyway. Every small thing that happens is magnified in significance, and with all those shadowy folks out gunning for him, Jack is naturally a little paranoid. So just sitting down for a cup of coffee with someone has him second guessing himself--as well as the person he's with--his finger constantly poised upon the trigger.

After the opening incident, which occurs in the snowy white Swedish countryside, Jack is instructed to hole up in a small Italian village. There, he is to deliver a custom made weapon to a mysterious female hit woman named Mathilde (Thekla Reuten). We don't know who she'll be targeting, but it's going to make a big splash in the newspapers.

Jack is befriended by a local priest, Father Benedetto, (Paolo Bonacelli) who senses that the American is up to something, and talks to him about sin. But the hired gunman is a cold, hard customer...until he gets involved with a beautiful prostitute named Clara, (Violante Placido) who wants to have more than a business relationship with him. (After all--it IS George Clooney!) Jack discovers that his conscience--deeply buried--is still alive in there somewhere, and decides he wants to get out of the killing game and start a normal life with Clara. BUT--with the kind of karma he has incurred for himself, will it be too late?

The American has a traditional plot, but refreshingly so. You don't need a scorecard to follow it, like a lot of thrillers these days (Inception, for example) that leave you scratching your head, wondering if they made it so complicated because they wanted you to come back and pony up your money a second or third time, just to try to figure it out.

The scenery is pleasant to the eye--not the least of which is the oft-naked Violante Placido as Jack's love interest.

If you're the type of moviegoer who needs to have everything spelled out at the end with a neat little bow on top, you'll be displeased. But if you can take the larger view and grasp that The American is about "sin" on a universal scale--and that all those tidy little details would be superfluous, I think you'll come away satisfied.

And if you're the ruthless sort yourself--not an assassin, but a business person, let's say--who tries to screw your customers by running TV commercials with a lot of unreadable fine print at the bottom of the screen that contradicts everything that's coming out of your mouth--you may find yourself reassessing your skulduggery, and developing perhaps a tiny speck of conscience, after viewing this film.

GRADE: B+

EAT, PRAY, LOVE ( PG-13)

2010-08-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

Stars: Julia Roberts, Richard Jenkins, James Franco, Viola Davis, Billy Crudup, Javier Bardem

Director: Ryan Murphy

Genre: Adventure/drama

Ryan Murphy directs Julia Roberts and a capable cast in the screen adaptation of author Elizabeth Gilbert's 2006 bestseller, Eat, Pray, Love--wherein the writer sets off on a year long quest to find enlightenment, romance, and great Italian pizza.

Bored with her marriage to Steve, (Billy Crudup) Liz files for divorce and takes up with a young actor (James Franco) who whets her appetite for spirituality--unwittingly sewing the seeds of his own demise with the flighty wordsmith--who seems to burn out quickly on guys who really care for her.

So she's off to Italy, where she'll engage in philosophical discourse with her new acquaintances while stuffing her face a lot; then to India where she hangs out in an ashram, looking like she's always feeling slightly out of her depth; and finally to Bali, to soak up wisdom from a toothless medicine man and get involved with a Brazilian dude--another nebulous relationship--because she's never quite sure about anything.

And now to my biggest pet-peeve about films that are adapted from nonfiction: The central character is always played by someone who is noticeably better looking than the real person. (Unless it's like, Ernest Borgnine.) So that is the first thing that gets fictionalized when a nonfiction book hits the silver screen. Liz Gilbert is a reasonably attractive woman, but she's no Julia Roberts. However, when I read the book some years back, I got the distinct impression that the author thought of herself as being this super hot chick, so she must have figured the selection of Ms. Roberts to play her was spot on.

Richard Jenkins' performance as the down-home Texas dude who befriends Liz at the ashram in India, dispensing nuggets of wisdom as he deals with the spectre of his own past, is already being touted as Oscar worthy, and I agree. And Javier Bardem as Felipe, Gilbert's love interest in the latter part of the film, is an affable presence, and sure-fire swoon material for this chik-flick's primary audience--though I think that Eat, Pray, Love does have broader appeal than that--if for no other reason than there's been a ton of hype about it, and guys will inevitably get dragged into the theatre at the behest of their girlfriends and spouses.

Now, how shall I describe the soundtrack? Well, it's one of the most curious, surprising, delightful, and baffling amalgamations of sound accompanying a major film in recent memory. From breezy samba rhythms, to Sly and the Family Stone, Kool and the Gang, Neil Young, and something that nearly made me fall out of my seat...a piece lifted right from Gato Barbieri's exquisite soundtrack from Last Tango In Paris. Never have I seen such a blatant recycling of something so wholly identifiable--for all time--with one particular movie, and a classic at that. I was delighted, (to hear it) yet cringing at the same time, as the melody that originally accompanied graceful tango dancers gliding across the floor was now being set to the image of Julia Roberts stuffing her face with pizza! BALLSY--I'll give them credit for that.

There's gorgeous cinematography--which you might expect considering the locales they had to work with--but Eat, Pray, Love suffers from some choppy editing. Had some of those scenic shots been held just a second or two longer, it would have given the film more of a seamless feel. As it is, it looks like the editor was rushing to finish. (The movie runs about two and a half hours.)

Non-fiction brought to the screen often feels rather plotless--we're so conditioned to those traditional story arcs--but there is growth and transformation here, so if you've got the time and the bucks to spend a year galavanting about the globe, you too may gain some insight into who you are. But unless you can write a blockbuster bestseller about your experiences, that may be a jobless schmuck who is flat broke.

GRADE: B

Now playing at home: THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (Rated R)

2010-08-02T09:35:00.001-07:00

Stars: Michael Nyqvist, Noomi Rapace, Sven-Bertil Taube

Director: Niels Arden Oplev

Genre: Mystery/Suspense Drama

(In Swedish with English subtitles)

Two strange bedfellows--middle-aged journalist Mikael Blomkvist, (Michael Nyqvist) and a young computer hacker, Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace) --team up to solve a forty year old mystery: The disappearance of a teenage girl, presumed murdered, from a gathering of greedy, self-serving family members, each of them now under suspicion. Adapted from the late Stieg Larsson's blockbuster novel, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is a twisting and twisted tale of intrigue and suspense.

Blomkvist is hired by Henrik Vanger, (Sven-Bertil Taube) of the aforementioned clan, to delve into the disappearance of his neice, Harriet, which has haunted him lo these many years. Salander is drawn to Blomkvist by his well publicized (but questionable) conviction for libel. Lisbeth is 24--a pierced, tattooed, black leather clad, sulking enigma who works as a researcher for a private security firm.

We do know that Lisbeth's dark past includes confinement to a mental institution. She's now on probation for an unspecified crime that will be revealed near the end of the film. She isn't crazy about men, and if anything could serve to reinforce that particular prejudice, it's her probation officer--a brutal rapist who is the embodiment of institutional subjugation and cruelty the world over.

But then there is Blomkvist, and how interesting would a pair of coed sleuths be if they didn't develop the hots for each other? We follow their collaboration with fascination, as they navigate a maze of clues, red herrings, dead ends, mysterious Nazi connections, a serial killer on the loose, staring death in the face--and, of course, making some hot monkey love along the way!

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is gritty, graphic, and gorgeously filmed (in its images of the Swedish countryside) . It's not for those with tender sensibilities.

And Noomi Rapace is an actress to watch. That she was willing to get "down and dirty" for this role shows me that she is dedicated to her craft and willing to do whatever it takes to bring stark realism to a scene. But as her star rises, will she be like most actresses when they make it big--unwilling to revisit some of the darker places that got them there to begin with, just because they no longer have to? Hope not!

I'm now looking forward to the sequel: The Girl Who Played With Fire. It's the next installment of Steig Larsson's "Millenium" trilogy--with Rapace and Nyqvist reprising their roles as the intrepid investigators from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

GRADE: B +

Now playing at home: CHLOE (Rated R)

2010-07-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

Stars: Julianne Moore, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson

Director: Atom Egoyan

Genre: Erotic Thriller

Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried hook up in a steamy lesbian scene in director Atom Egoyan's Chloe. Moore has played some lesbian/bi-sexual roles before--though I don't know that she's ever come out and said ""I'm bi-sexual." It doesn't make a hill of pinto beans to me--but what gets me is actresses who are doing all this graphic stuff with other women on film, and then try to tell you they are straight--and that it's just part of the story, and they are making "sacrifices for their art." Like Cameron Diaz, who said: "If I'm going to be with a woman sexually, it doesn't make me a lesbian." No, it doesn't, Cameron. But bare minimum, it makes you bi-sexual.

Hey, if I'm an actor and I do a bunch of movies where I play a guy who likes asparagus, in scenes that require me to chow down on oodles of it...I wouldn't have taken on those roles if I really DIDN'T like asparagus! I"d spit that stuff right back in yo face!

Be whatever you want to be, (and be all you CAN be) but just don't insult my intelligence about it, is all I'm sayin.

AND NOW...BACK TO OUR STORY!

Julianne Moore is Catherine, a gynecologist who suspects her professor husband, David, (Liam Neeson) of cheating on her. She runs into Chloe, (Amanda Seyfried) a beautiful young call-girl, in a public restroom, and later gets the idea to hire the tart to approach her hubby and see if he will take the bait. When the two women subsequently meet to compare notes, Catherine finds herself getting aroused by Chloe's lurid descriptions of the things she's been doing with the doc's husband. Is Catherine living vicariously through the young temptress, thinking about the things she and David used to do together, but don't seem to have the time or the inclination for anymore? Or is there more to it than that? Well, yes there is...as the women become intimate with each other.

When Catherine must ultimately end the affair, Chloe crosses over into Fatal Attraction territory, as the scarlet woman spurned begins to find ways to ingratiate herself into Catherine's family. There's a twist at the end that I saw coming rather early on, and that you may catch onto as well if you're paying attention during the opening scene of the movie, and putting two and two together from there. The character of David is really window dressing here, as Chloe is all about the repressed desires of two women from disparate backgrounds finding common ground through their sexuality.

Michael Danna's brooding soundtrack is psychological thriller appropriate.

Temptation often leads us into sticky situations, from which we must try to extract ourselves--as best we can--hoping we haven't triggered the kind of karma that will come back to bite us on the butt...but that is often just what it does.

GRADE: B